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Modern Romance July 2016 Books 5-8


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his lust with his PA? The trouble was, he hadn’t been thinking. He’d been utterly in the grip of his own awful emotions, and Hannah’s tentative comfort had been the balm he’d so desperately craved. It was only afterwards, after the most sexually and emotionally explosive encounter he’d ever experienced, that the regrets came rushing in. Regret to have slept with his PA at all, and, worse, shame that he’d allowed her to see him in such a vulnerable state. What must Hannah think of him? It had practically been a pity lay.

      Except she had been just as gripped by the raw, urgent need that he’d felt consume him. She’d been just as desperate to have him inside her as he’d been to be there.

      The knowledge didn’t make him feel any better. The whole thing was an appalling mistake, made about a thousand times worse by the fact that they hadn’t used any protection.

      Hannah emerged from the bathroom, dressed in the same awful pyjamas she’d worn last night, but at least tonight Luca was grateful for the way they hid her body. The last thing he needed was to feel tempted again.

      She didn’t look at him as she came into the room, going directly to the bed. Her body was stiff with affront and Luca watched in bemused disbelief as she reached for her book by the bedside table and then buried her nose in it.

      He took a deep breath. ‘Hannah.’ She didn’t so much as look up from her book. ‘We need to talk.’

      ‘Oh, now we need to talk?’ Finally she looked up, and Luca saw anger firing her brown eyes, turning them to gold. Her hair was tousled about her shoulders, her face flushed, and, pyjamas aside, she looked utterly lovely.

      But he had to stop thinking that way.

      ‘Yes, now we need to talk.’

      ‘Not right after?’ Hannah filled in. ‘No, you couldn’t bother to say boo to me then.’

      Luca’s insides tightened with both irritation and remorse. He hadn’t treated her very well, back on the beach, but she’d blindsided him, in so many ways. ‘Clearly what happened took us both by surprise.’ She took a deep breath and nodded, her hands folded across her abandoned book. ‘So much so that I didn’t think to use any protection.’

      Hannah’s lips parted on a soundless gasp as her eyes widened in shocked realisation. ‘I didn’t even think of that.’ She nibbled her lip. ‘But it’s not... I mean, based on the time of the month, I don’t think it’s risky.’

      ‘You’d let me know? I mean, if...?’

      Her gaze locked with his and her breath came out in a rush. Luca felt the import of the moment, the enormous impact of what they’d shared together. More than he’d ever shared with any other woman, pregnancy or not. ‘Yes, of course,’ she answered. ‘If. But I really don’t think there’s going to be an if. So that’s one less thing to worry about.’ She tried for a smile but it wobbled and slid off her face, and she looked away, blinking rapidly.

      ‘Hannah...’ He expelled a shaky breath. He was finding this all a lot harder than he would have wished. He didn’t like the realisation that he’d hurt her.

      Hannah glanced down at her laced fingers. ‘You don’t need to worry about me, Luca,’ she said quietly. ‘I wasn’t looking for some kind of fairy tale, and I certainly don’t have any expectations because of...well, you know.’

      And that proclamation, which should have only brought blessed relief, caused him the most absurd flicker of disappointment. His emotions were clearly all over the place. ‘Good,’ Luca said shortly. ‘Then we can forget this ever happened and move on.’

      * * *

      With effort Hannah kept her face blank. Forget this ever happened. As if she could ever do that. Those passionate moments with Luca were emblazoned on her brain, his touch branded on her body. She swallowed and nodded.

      ‘Yes,’ she agreed, because what else could she say? Luca wasn’t looking for a relationship, and neither was she—and certainly not with a man like him. If she ever dared to risk her heart—and her son’s—it would be with someone who valued family, who wanted a child. Her child.

      And yet Luca had put so much care into his plans for the family resort, and just a moment ago he’d almost looked disappointed that she was most likely not pregnant.

      But she couldn’t go chasing after rainbows where none existed. He’d made his intentions more than clear.

      Luca nodded, seemingly satisfied with her agreement. ‘You’ll tell me if the situation changes?’

      ‘If I’m pregnant?’ she clarified wryly. ‘Yes, Luca, I’ll tell you. It’s not as if it’s something I could hide, working for you.’

      ‘But you wouldn’t try to hide it?’

      ‘No, of course not.’ She frowned at him. ‘But let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, shall we?’

      A terse nod was all the response she got and he disappeared into the bathroom while she tossed her book on the bedside table, too unsettled to read.

      Even though she’d just told Luca they didn’t need to think about how to handle a pregnancy yet, she found herself doing just that—and her scattered thoughts soon morphed into the most absurd fantasy of Luca as a doting dad. This child could have what Jamie had missed out on. She pictured Luca cradling their newborn, his big, strong hands so tender with that tiny scrap of humanity. She thought of all the things that Jamie would experience without a dad—a lost tooth, riding a bike, Christmas and birthdays. This child wouldn’t miss out at all.

      Then Luca came out of the bathroom and got into bed, his movements brisk and businesslike, and Hannah forced her wayward thoughts to a screeching halt. What on earth was she thinking, casting Luca Moretti of all people, into the role of a devoted father? He was anything but—not to the imaginary child they most likely hadn’t conceived, and certainly not to her son by another man. If she was pregnant, he’d probably pay her off and remain completely uninvolved. The antithesis of a happily-ever-after.

      No, she had to clamp down on that kind of dangerous and foolish thinking right now. Luca wasn’t interested in relationships, and neither was she. As he’d told her, it simply wasn’t worth it.

      * * *

      The next morning Hannah woke to an empty bed; she’d been so exhausted from everything that had happened, she’d fallen asleep without any restless wondering of what Luca was thinking or feeling next to her.

      Now, in the bright light of a Mediterranean morning, the events of last night took on a sordid and reproachable cast. What had seemed irresistible and exciting in the sultry darkness now felt shameful. She was glad Luca wasn’t in the room because she didn’t think she could look him in the eye. Just the memory of how she’d begged him to touch her made Hannah’s face flame.

      Half an hour later, after eating breakfast delivered by staff and dressed in another one of her ensembles from Diavola, her hair and make-up done, Hannah felt more in control of the situation, or at least as if a mask of calm respectability had been put in place.

      Luca hadn’t returned to the room and so she decided to go in search of him. She saw several suitcases in the foyer and realised Andrew Tyson’s guests were starting to depart. She’d known she and Luca would be leaving some time today, and the thought of returning home to Jamie, to her mother, to normal life, brought a rush of relief. She couldn’t handle any more of her seesawing emotions.

      She wandered through a few more rooms before she found some of Tyson’s guests along with his family in a breakfast room, enjoying coffee and pastries. Laura Tyson gave her a friendly smile as she came into the room.

      ‘You’re Luca Moretti’s fiancée, isn’t that right?’

      ‘Yes...’

      ‘I saw the two of you sneak out at the end of the dinner last night,’ Laura said confidentially, her eyes sparkling. ‘I don’t blame you. Luca is certainly a handsome man, and he obviously adores