and almost resting on her shoulder. ‘I mean, what if we’re not finished with this conversation? What if I think you just avoided my question and I want to know why?’ His hands were over hers now and her breath hitched in her chest. ‘What if I want to get to know you a little better, Carrie McKenzie? Despite our unusual meeting—and despite our chaperone.’
He lifted up a finger and held it in the air. It was covered in bubbles, with the light reflecting off them revealing a rainbow of colours. She couldn’t speak. She didn’t know what to say—how to respond. Plus she was mesmerised by the bubbles popping one by one. He gave a little laugh, moved his finger and smudged the bubbles on her nose.
She breathed in quickly in surprise, inhaling half the bubbles, leading to a coughing fit. All she could hear was Dan’s hearty laughter as she half choked to death, doubled over, then she felt his hand on her back, sharply at first, giving a few knocks to ease her choking, then soothing, rubbing her back while she caught her breath again.
She finally stood upright, his hand still positioned on her back, damp from being in the sink. His other hand fell naturally to her hip.
She turned her head to look at him. ‘What was that for?’
‘Fun.’ He was grinning at her. Showing off his perfect teeth and American good-boy looks.
It was like temptation all in one package.
She bit her lip. ‘You’ve got me all wet.’ She squirmed as she pulled her T-shirt from her back. Then cringed at her words. No! She hadn’t really said that out loud, had she? She could feel the blood rush to her cheeks. Please don’t let him take anything from that.
But he just gave her that sexy smile again. ‘We can’t have that. Do you want something else to wear?’ He walked towards one of the doors in the apartment—most likely his bedroom. ‘I’m sure I’ve something in here for you.’
It was blatant. It was obvious. He was full of it.
She folded her arms across her chest. She should be insulted, but the truth was she wasn’t really. She was a tiny bit flattered.
She shook her head. ‘You were the college playboy, weren’t you?’
He leaned against the doorjamb. ‘What if I was?’
‘Then you should be used to women thinking you’re too big for your boots.’
The tension in the air was killing her. If this were a movie she would just walk over, wink and lead him into the bedroom.
He sighed and looked skyward. ‘I love it when you talk dirty to me. It’s the accent. It’s killing me. Every time you talk I just—’
There was a little grunt from the corner of the room and they both leaped about a foot in the air.
Every other thought was pushed out of the window.
In the blink of an eye they were both at the side of the crib, leaning overtop the still-sleeping baby.
‘Did that mean something?’ asked Dan.
‘How am I supposed to know?’ she whispered back.
She watched Abraham’s little chest rise and fall, rise and fall. It was soothing. It was calming.
‘Did we decide on who was doing the night shift?’
She wanted to say no. She wanted to say she couldn’t do it and retreat back upstairs to the safety of her silent apartment.
She wanted to put the random flirtations out of her head.
But there was so much churning around in her mind.
This baby. Abraham.
He didn’t have a mother to comfort him right now. Being around him was hard. Being around him was torture.
But what if this was something she had to do? What if this was something she had to get past?
Sure, she’d grieved for her daughter. She’d wept a bucketload of tears and spent weeks thinking ‘what if?’ She’d watched her relationship slowly but surely disintegrate around her and Mark. They’d both known it was inevitable, but that hadn’t made the parting any easier.
So she’d been bereft. She’d been empty.
But had she allowed herself to heal?
And Dan wasn’t anything like Mark. Mark hadn’t walked from their relationship—he’d practically run.
And here was Dan stepping in, and taking responsibility—albeit temporarily—for an unknown baby on their doorstep. Maybe for five minutes she should stop judging all men by Mark’s standard. Maybe she should take a little time to get to know someone like Dan. Someone who might restore her faith in humanity again.
And did she even know how to do that?
She straightened up, pushing her hands into her back and cricking her spine. Dan was at her back again. ‘Carrie, are you okay? Is there something you want to tell me?’
This was it. This was her opportunity to tell him why she was acting so strangely around him and this baby. This was a chance for her to be honest.
This was a chance to clear the air between them.
But she was torn. There was a buzz between them.
They were both feeling it. She liked the flirtation. It made her feel good. It made her feel normal again. Even though there was nothing about this situation that was normal.
She barely knew Dan, but just being in his company made her feel safe. The way he’d reacted to the abandoned baby. The way he’d immediately gone out into the snowstorm to look for the mother, even if he really didn’t want to. The way he wasn’t afraid to roll up his sleeves and help take care of a baby, even with no experience.
But what would happen right now if she told him?
She could almost get out a huge crystal ball and predict it. The moment she said the words, ‘I had a stillbirth last year. My daughter died,’ it would kill anything between them stone dead. It would destroy this buzz in the air.
It would destroy the first feel-good feelings she’d felt in over a year.
So, no matter how hard this was, and for what were totally selfish reasons, she wanted to stay. She might feel a sense of duty, a sense of responsibility towards Abraham, but that wasn’t all she was feeling.
And right now she wanted to do something for herself.
For Carrie.
Was that really so selfish?
She took a deep breath and turned around to face him.
It would be so easy. It would be so easy to lean forward just a little and see what might happen.
To see if this buzz in the air could amount to anything.
To hold her breath and see if he was sensing what she was feeling—or to see that it had been so long that her reactions were completely off. Completely wrong.
He reached up and touched her cheek. ‘Carrie?’
She swallowed, biting back the words she really wanted to say and containing the actions she really wanted to take.
She didn’t want anything to destroy that tiny little buzz that was currently in her stomach. It felt precious to her. As if it was finally the start of something new.
‘How about I take the first shift? I’ll sleep on the sofa next to the crib and do the first feed and change at night. You can take over after that.’
She kept her voice steady and her words firm.
She could see something flicker behind his eyes. The questions that he really wanted to ask. He nodded and gave her a little smile.
‘Welcome to your first night shift, Carrie McKenzie.’
She watched his