and how she had asked to stay for one lingering look.
‘Poor little mite,’ Glen said. ‘You just can’t help but compare them to your own sometimes.’
And then Glen asked him something.
‘Do you remember a child we brought in...?’
And he spoke about a little girl that had been brought in a few months ago, one around the same age as Glen’s daughter.
Yes, Dominic remembered it well—it was the same child that Dominic had lost on the operating table.
‘I’d do anything for my children,’ Glen said, ‘and I just hope that for her I did the same, but I wonder if we’d just been a bit quicker extracting her from the vehicle and if we’d—’
‘Glen,’ Dominic interrupted.
Not unkindly.
He had gone over the very same questions about the same little girl himself, and so had the coroner.
‘There was nothing that anyone could have done. Even if she had somehow been operated on at the scene, still there was nothing that could have been done.’
‘I know that,’ Glen admitted. He just needed to hear it again.
And again.
He really did need to talk it through.
‘She really got to me.’
‘I know,’ Dominic said. ‘It was awful.’
All losses hit hard, but some had the capacity for major destruction and that was what was happening with Glen.
‘Victoria keeps on at me to go and speak to someone about it.’
Dominic was very glad that Victoria was on to things, and he was glad that this partnership looked out for each other.
‘I think that would be very wise,’ Dominic said. ‘And if you do have any more questions, or talking it through raises some, then you can come and talk to me.’
Glen nodded. ‘I’m just going to take a minute before I go back out.’
‘Sure.’
Dominic walked out through to the department and he saw Victoria standing by the made-up stretcher, reading her phone. Dominic made his way over to her.
She felt him approach but Victoria didn’t look up.
‘Your colleague is crying in the kitchen,’ Dominic told her, and though he kept it light he also let her know what was going on.
‘I know.’ Victoria looked up then and rolled her eyes. ‘I’m going to politely pretend not to notice.’
But she had noticed, Dominic knew. Glen had just told him that Victoria had addressed this with him on many an occasion.
‘Was it very grim at the house?’ he asked.
‘Not really,’ Victoria said.
And Dominic frowned because Glen had just told him, in detail, that it had been awful—that Penny had asked for a moment to look around before they left and that Julia had become upset.
Then, as casually as anything, she told him that unless she got another call-out this morning, this would be the last time they ran into each other like this.
‘I’m probably going to be working in the clinical hub—dispatch—from now on.’
‘Is everything okay?’
‘It’s procedure,’ Victoria said. ‘I’ve got two weeks’ leave, starting at the end of this shift, but when I come back I shan’t be operational.’
‘Good,’ Dominic said. ‘Well, I’ll miss seeing you but I think it’s better than the risk of being out there.’
‘I’ll still see you at the Save Paddington’s meetings, I hope.’ Victoria smiled.
‘You shall.’
Dominic was doing his best to stay back and not crowd her.
He was finding it hell.
Maybe he should take her at face value, Dominic reasoned. Maybe he should simply accept it when she said that things did not get to her, and that she really would prefer to go through this alone.
Yet it did not equate to the passionate side she revealed at times and, he was certain, she hurt just as deeply, even if she did not show it.
He should walk away, just treat her as coolly as she said she wanted, but instead he tried another tack.
‘I’m expecting a transfer from Riverside,’ Dominic said. ‘I’ve actually just been speaking with your father.’
‘Lucky you,’ Victoria said, and got back to reading her phone.
‘What did he say to you, Victoria?’ He saw her rapid blink as she deliberately didn’t look up. ‘When you had that row, what did he say?’
She shook her head. ‘I don’t want to go over it again.’
‘Please do,’ Dominic said. ‘Of course, if it’s too upsetting...’
‘It’s not that.’ She shrugged. ‘It just paints me in a rather unflattering light. He pointed out that my mother didn’t just leave him.’
She didn’t say it verbatim, but he could almost hear Professor Christie saying that she had left her too.
‘How does that paint you in an unflattering light?’ Dominic asked.
‘Well, I can’t have been the cutest baby.’ She tried to make a joke.
‘How old were you when she left?’
‘I think it was just before I turned one,’ Victoria said with a shrug. ‘She didn’t even last a year.’ And then Victoria pocketed her phone and she looked right at him. ‘So you can see why I don’t want you flitting in and out of my child’s life.’ Then she thought about it. ‘Not that my mother did. When she decided to leave she left for good.’
‘You don’t see her at all?’
‘No,’ Victoria said. ‘I found her on social media a couple of years ago. She’s got two grown-up sons. I guess they’re my half-brothers.’
‘Did you make contact?’
‘I tried to—they all blocked me.’
‘Well, I shan’t be doing the same.’
‘Not straight away, but you might change your mind and decide to go and live in Scotland, once you’ve sorted things with your family...’
‘Victoria, do you remember when I told you about Lorna and you pointed out that I wasn’t your ex?’
She nodded.
‘Well, it works both ways—I’m not one of your parents either. I shan’t be turning my back on the baby. I shall always be there for my child.’
Victoria already knew that.
Deep down, she always had.
After Dominic’s initial poor reaction on the night she had told him, he had run after her and had been trying to get more involved rather than less.
It wasn’t the baby she was now trying to protect.
It was herself.
He would be agony to lose and her heart could not take further hurt.
‘What about Lorna?’ Victoria said, and she silently kicked below the belt. ‘Did you say that you’d always be there for her too?’
He didn’t baulk at her question; Dominic stared her right in the eyes. ‘No.’
‘I don’t believe you.’
‘Well,