mood was too dark and ominous for her to dare defy him. Taking a deep breath, she turned around and walked back to the stairs, which she descended. She felt him following her, all the way to the bedroom.
After he came inside, she looked at him. “Was the alarm set this afternoon while I was waiting to talk to a crew member?”
“Yes, even if that part of the marina is Vassalos private property. There are some people who will trespass no matter what.”
She lifted a hand to her throat. She’d considered going on board, but had held back, thank goodness. “You mean all those other boats belong to your company?”
“That’s right.” His chiseled features stood out in stark relief. “I must admit I’m surprised you didn’t step on the Diomedes without permission. When we were together on Providenciales, I noticed what an adventurous person you were, unafraid to explore the depths where the others held back. I guess it doesn’t really surprise me you would show such tenacity in trying to find me, regardless of the consequences.”
Her softly rounded chin lifted. “That’s because I was on a sacred mission.”
“Sacred?” he queried silkily. “What an interesting choice of words.”
Salty tears stung her eyelids. “You wouldn’t understand.”
“Try me.”
Stephanie shook her head. “You’ll only mock me, so there’s no point.”
“You’re trying my patience, what little I have left,” he said, his voice grating. He lounged against the closed door. The stance looked familiar, but she had an idea he needed the support. Stephanie wished she didn’t care about his condition, but the signs of his suffering, both physical and emotional, had gotten to her. “I’m waiting.”
“When we were in the Caribbean, you asked me about my father. I told you he and my mother never married and she raised me alone. But I never went into the details.”
“Why was that?”
She sank down on the side of the bed. “Because it’s such a painful subject for me to talk about, and because I barely knew you. Eventually I would have told you everything, but we ran out of time.” Her voice shook.
His jaw hardened. “That must have been a shock to your carefully laid plans.”
“I didn’t have any plans, Nikos. I don’t know why you won’t believe me. You say you want answers, so I’m trying to give them to you. Mom met my father on a winter skiing holiday in Colorado. They spent a glorious week together before he said he had to leave, but would fly to Crystal River to see her.
“She worked in hospital administration. He could have found her at any time, but he never called or looked her up. Mom had her pride and waited in vain for him to get in touch with her.”
Nikos eyed Stephanie skeptically. “If she knew where he lived, why didn’t she seek him out?”
“By the time I was born, she was so ashamed of what she’d done, she made up her mind that I would never know his name or where I could find him. She felt he didn’t deserve to know he was a father. I was put in day care and she raised me with the help of my grandparents until they passed on.”
Struggling with the rest, Stephanie sprang to her feet. “Since you left me at the resort, I have a crystal-clear understanding of what my mother went through and why she was so shattered. But she forgot one thing. She didn’t realize how important it was for me to know who my father was, if only to see him once and understand my own genes, to gain more of an identity.”
Stephanie heard Nikos take an extra breath in reaction.
“Mother robbed me of that. It’s the only thing in our lives that caused pain between us. I loved her. Though she was the best mom in the world, I had a hard time forgiving her for that. However, I finally have. Still, her omission has left scars, because I’m my father’s flesh and blood, too. When she died, her secret died with her, leaving me in agony and always wondering about him.
“Do I have grandparents who are still alive? A half brother or sister? Does my father like doing the things I like? Do I look like him? Those are questions for which I have no answers. Unfortunately, I’ll never be given them.”
She clutched her arms to her waist. “Such is the story of the Walsh mother and daughter. We were both open to a good time, until it was over. I can’t believe I’ve repeated my mother’s history, but they say experience is the best teacher.”
Stephanie threw her head back. “How I’ve learned! I had to believe it when the doctor told me I was pregnant. He said a good condom hardly ever fails, but it can slip. That’s probably what happened with us.”
By now Niko’s countenance had grown dark and lined.
“Believe it or not, my very first thought when I learned of my pregnancy wasn’t about you or money, but about the life we’d created. I felt all the joy of being told I was going to be a mother, and I loved my baby instantly.
“But I have to tell you, I damned myself and you for the weakness that caused us to reach out for pleasure without marriage or commitment of any kind, without really knowing the most basic things about each other. We were both incredibly selfish, Nikos.”
“You’re right,” he admitted, with what sounded like self-loathing.
“In hindsight I realize I don’t hate you for what you did, leaving without a personal goodbye. I took a risk with you. We were equal partners in doing what we did. That’s why I did everything I could to find you and let you know you’re going to be a father. To not tell you would be an even more selfish act.
“I wouldn’t be honest if I didn’t admit that I wanted to be with you the moment we met in the Caribbean, and I made no secret about it. That time was beautiful beyond belief and something I will always treasure. It’s the reason I don’t want to make something ugly out of something that was sacred to me at the time, even if it was illicit. I still don’t know if you have a wife or other children.”
“I don’t,” he whispered in a bleak tone.
“If that’s the truth, then I’m glad I don’t have to carry that burden, too. You’ve accused me of coming after you because of the great Vassalos fortune. Let me say now that I wouldn’t ask for money or take it under any circumstances. What we had together wasn’t love. It couldn’t have been, since it was based on a lie.”
At her comment his features hardened.
“You owe me nothing, Nikos, but you have the right to know we’re going to have a child. When the baby’s born, I plan to give it the last name of Walsh. But I did want to be able to tell our daughter or son your true name—that it wasn’t Dev Harris, and that you come from a fine established family from Egnoussa, Greece, and not New York.
“That’s why I did everything possible to find you and learn your true identity. I realize I’ve gone where angels fear to tread, even to trying to find out about you from someone working on your yacht. But I’ve done it for our child, who doesn’t deserve such selfish parents.”
“It’s very noble of you to take on partial blame.” But his mocking tone robbed the sentiment of any meaning.
“Once you let me off this luxury vessel, I’m going back to Crystal River, knowing I’ve done my best for my baby. One day, when our child asks about you, I’ll tell him or her all I know and learned about you during those ten days we spent together. They were the happiest days of my whole life.
“It will help satisfy our child’s great need to know about his or her beginnings. Every human born wants to know who they are and where they come from. Were they wanted? I want our child to know he or she was wanted from the second I found out that I was pregnant. Once grown, it will be up to him or her if you meet. I’ll play no part in it.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom