All she had to do was close her eyes and pretend that Nathaniel was her happily-ever-after. That’s what women did, right? Weave fantasies?
Unfortunately, Nathaniel wasn’t in a mood to appease her fairy tales. At last, he stood again, this time coming down on top of her and moving between her thighs. “Open your eyes, Dani. This is me you’re hiding from. I won’t have it. Open your eyes.”
Holding Nathaniel’s gaze while he slid deep into her body shattered her. He witnessed every nuance of her reaction, including the slight wince when he pressed as far as he could go, thrust irrevocably at the mouth of her womb.
Dani shuddered and panted. It was too much and not enough. He filled her almost uncomfortably. She was tense and frightened—not of Nathaniel, but of her own wildly careening emotions.
She turned her head, watching the dancing flames that somehow had found their way into her body and were roasting her alive.
Her lover grasped her chin and turned her head to face him. His gaze was fierce. “If you wanted to change your mind, all you had to do was say so.”
Shocked to the tips of her bare toes, she saw that she had hurt him. “Oh, Nathaniel, no. It’s not that. I want you, I do.” She linked her arms around his neck and canted her hips, allowing him to steal one more millimeter.
He kissed her roughly, his tongue tangling with hers. “Then why do you keep escaping in your head?” He nibbled the sensitive flesh below her ear and raked her collarbone with sharp teeth.
Dani moaned. “I’m scared. You make me crazy.” She was afraid to come, terrified that she would shatter into a million jagged pieces and never be the same again.
His kisses gentled, even as his big frame shuddered. Much of his weight rested on his forearms, protecting her. But his lower body held her fast. “We’re on even ground then, because I don’t know what the hell we’re doing. Don’t be frightened of me, my brave, bighearted Dani. I won’t let anything happen to you, I swear.”
She kissed him then. Some might have called it a kiss of surrender. Dani knew it was more. It was taking what she wanted despite the inevitable consequences. “Make love to me, Nathaniel.”
Whatever gentleness he had shown her in the beginning burned up in the fire of simple, undeniable, lustful pleasure. He pumped hard, rapidly. Her first climax hit sharp and sudden. She cried out and moaned as he carried her through it. But Nathaniel was far from done. They tumbled to the soft carpet with Dani on top. His fingers dug into her hips with bruising strength.
His chest heaved. His eyes blazed. “Ride me, honey. Find what you need. I can wait...maybe.”
She took him at his word. It was exhilarating and frantic and more wildly pleasurable than she had ever imagined. Twice more, she climaxed. With the last one, Nathaniel came as well, dragging her down to his chest and holding her in arms of steel as he groaned and thrust his way to the finish line.
When it was over, the only sound in the room was their labored breathing and the gentle hum of the gas logs.
Dani’s bottom, exposed to the air, started to get cold. She dared not move. If she did, she would have to face Nathaniel. How could she do that? How would she ever again be able to look him in the eye and pretend they were nothing more than boss and assistant?
Thank God she had already been sending out résumés. Perhaps tonight was her subconscious way of making sure she followed through on her decision to leave New Century. Nothing about Nathaniel had changed. He’d warned her as much at the dinner table. Dani would have to be the one to make smart decisions.
But how? How was a woman supposed to resist a man who combed his fingers through her hair and seemed not to notice that she had the beginnings of muffin top? He made love to her like she was a pool of life-giving water, and he’d been lost in the Sahara. She’d felt his desperation. His whole body shook, and not just with orgasm, but as he caressed her breasts and kissed her so sweetly.
Doggedly, she told herself that Nathaniel was right. None of this was real. They were playacting. Making the best of a bad situation, or two bad situations, if you counted Peaches. The snow and the child. Blizzards and babies and boners, oh, my.
The irreverent thought made her giggle.
Nathaniel noticed, of course. He opened one eye and glared up at her. “I hope you’re not laughing at me. I might point out you’re in a very vulnerable position.”
She sobered rapidly. “No, sir, boss.” Brushing her lips across his stubbly jaw, she played the aggressor. “Merely wondering how long I have to wait for round two.”
Disengaging their bodies, he scrambled to his feet and pulled her up with two hands. “I have a great shower. Lots of settings on the showerhead. You’ll love it.”
“Um...”
He lifted her chin. “Talk to me, little Christmas elf. I’m having the damnedest time reading you right now.”
She shrugged, trying to pretend she wasn’t naked. “Showers are kind of personal. I’m not exactly a sharing kind of person when it comes to personal hygiene.”
Nathaniel’s lips quirked. “It’s a good thing you’re cute.”
“Why is that?”
He kissed her nose. “Because you’re a lot of work.”
“I am not,” she said, affronted. “Have I complained once about being kidnapped and forced to be your nanny?”
“You’ve been a saint,” he said gravely. “But I was talking about your emotional state. I’ve seen pictures of a sphinx who’s less inscrutable than you are. Two days ago we were in the office doing the usual, and now you tell me you’ve been fantasizing about me. Who knew?” He sounded aggrieved.
It was too perfect an opening not to ask. She stroked one of his biceps, loving the way her caress made him shiver. “I’m curious. Did you ever fantasize about me when we were at the office?”
* * *
Doors slammed shut in Nathaniel’s brain. Danger, danger. He drew in a ragged breath. “Hell, yes. But that was very unprofessional on my part.” He backed away. “I think you’re right about the shower. If you don’t mind, I’ll go first. If Peaches wakes up in the meantime, I’ll give her a bottle so you can get some sleep.”
He didn’t remember how he got to his bedroom. He must have released Dani. He must have grabbed his shirt and pants, because they were clutched in his hands.
Swallowing back the taste of dread and panic, he showered quickly and changed into jeans and an old college sweatshirt. Despite the hot water, he was cold through to the bone.
The expression in Dani’s eyes when she looked up at him hadn’t been inscrutable at all. It encompassed vulnerability and shy affection and probably a million questions. Simple questions any woman had the right to ask when she had just surrendered her body to a man she should be able to trust. A man who had vowed to protect her.
For ten minutes, he paced the confines of his bedroom, formulating a game plan, deciding what to say. If he and Dani continued to have sex, she would expect things from him. Things he likely couldn’t or wouldn’t give. But if he came right out and said he was only playing around, he would leave himself open to her recriminations, maybe even reprisals.
She was a decent woman. With a kind heart. Still, he and she together had crossed a line. A line that made him as vulnerable as his father had been all those years ago.
Dani wouldn’t sue him. He wouldn’t lose his company. The chances of that happening were infinitesimal.
Without warning, a distant memory flashed, one he had forgotten in the mists of time. A woman in a professional, powder blue suit occupied the witness stand, her face hard and cold as she listed Nathaniel’s father’s transgressions, demanding vengeance. Nathaniel, almost eighteen by that time, had been sitting in the back row of the courtroom.
His