eased the tension in his face. “Good to know.” He held up the computer case he held. “I have a plan.”
“I can’t wait to hear what it is.”
Fifteen minutes later, his computer was sitting on the dining room table. Next to it was a large map of Europe and a pad of paper. Paige had poured them each a glass of wine. She handed him one and then looked at everything he’d brought.
“I don’t understand.”
“All you have to do is take the first step,” he told her. “Plan the first trip. The rest will follow.”
She knew he was right, yet instead of agreeing, she set down her wine and tucked her hands behind her back. “I can’t.”
He put his glass next to hers and put his hands on her shoulders. “We’ll do this together. You don’t have to be afraid.”
She didn’t deny the obvious. That she was afraid. What was the point? But for all his claims of their doing anything together, the truth was she would leave on the trip by herself.
What had seemed so glamorous in theory was suddenly lonely. Looking into Alistair’s eyes, she realized that she’d always assumed there would be someone with her when she traveled the world. Sophia, or a nameless, faceless friend.
Alistair pulled two chairs close together and urged her to sit in one. He took the other, then typed into his computer’s browser. A picture of Paris appeared on the screen.
“I suggest you start with a more traditional destination,” he began. “Paris, or London. With a Eurail Pass, you can explore the rest of Europe at your own pace. You have to see Rome. Now I’ve taken the liberty of suggesting a few itineraries.”
He clicked a couple of keys and a list came up. The title was Paris, followed by a list of places to go, including several walking tours.
“This is a museum most people overlook,” he told her. “Yes, the Louvre is important, but I think you’ll enjoy this one as well.”
He continued talking, explaining about a Saturday morning market he favored and how she could be in Italy in time for the grape harvest. His voice washed over her, making her see the journey he had planned. Finally, he turned to her.
“I know this is what you want,” he told her. “What Sophia wanted for you. You’ve been missing her, which shows how much you loved her. Now it’s time to take a step forward.”
He took her hand in his. “I know what I’m talking about. I’ve spent the last few years beating myself up for being gone when I lost my family. I’ve been unable to release the past and move on. You’ve helped me get unstuck. I want to return the favor.”
His eyes were the most remarkable color of blue, she thought hazily. She could stare into them forever. If only he would come with her. If only…
There it was again, she thought. A reason to delay. A reason to say, “Not today.” She was twenty-six. Would she find excuses until she was thirty? Forty? Would she reach sixty and then say she was too old?
Her heart told her Alistair might be the one. That she could easily fall in love with him. But he wasn’t offering anything beyond travel advice and if she didn’t act now, she would be stuck for who knows how long.
“Do you think if I fly out of San Francisco, I could get a direct flight?” she asked.
Alistair laughed and squeezed her fingers. “I knew you’d understand. Let’s see what flights are available.”
Over the next couple of hours, they looked at airlines and itineraries. Paige knew she had to give her employers some notice before flying off to Europe for several months. Finding someone to rent her house while she was gone would help with expenses as well. But by the time she walked Alistair to the door, she had a plan and a list of inexpensive hotels where she could stay. She was giving herself four weeks to pull it all together and then she was leaving. No matter what.
Alistair reached for the door, then paused. He cupped her face in his hand and bent down to kiss her. The soft touch healed and aroused in equal measure, leaving her breathless. She wanted more, she thought, letting her eyes drift closed. She wanted more than a few hours with the man who pressed his lips to hers.
What was it Aunt Sophia had always said? If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. If…
She wrapped her arms around his neck and gave herself over to the kiss. If this wasn’t to be, then she would store memories and take them out to savor later on. Like her first trip to Europe. When she was old, she would sit in the sun with her friends and talk about the handsome, charming viscount she’d once known.
He moved his mouth against hers. He tasted of the wine they’d shared and something slightly more tempting. His body was strong and hard against hers. She leaned into him, letting her breasts nestle against his chest. He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her close.
When his tongue touched her bottom lip, she parted her lips for him. The kiss deepened, grew more intimate. Need pulsed in time with her heartbeat and she felt herself growing weak with longing. But before she could decide if she wanted to take Alistair upstairs, he drew back.
He pressed his mouth to her cheeks and her nose, then lightly touched his lips to hers.
“Good night, Paige,” he whispered, and then he was gone.
* * *
“You’re not listening.” Simon made the statement conversationally.
Alistair shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said automatically. “I was thinking.”
“Not about work.”
“How do you know?”
“I’m not sure,” his friend admitted. “I’ve seen you when you’re thinking about where you’re going next and you didn’t have that look.”
They were in Simon’s study. It was late and Montana had gone to bed hours ago. She was due in a few short weeks and her body needed the rest.
“We aren’t nearly as brave as the women in our lives,” Alistair said. “What they do for us. Bearing children. I doubt that I could.”
Simon grinned. “Excluding the biological issues.”
Alistair laughed. “Yes. Of course. It’s a huge commitment of resources. And yet they do it cheerfully, again and again.”
Sara had been thrilled when she’d discovered that she was pregnant. He had been happy as well, but unable to stay in England. He’d had commitments. He’d wanted her to go with him, but she’d needed to be near her family and her doctor. Perhaps when the baby was older, she’d said, but he’d known even then that she had no intention of ever leaving the quiet village where she’d always lived.
He’d gone without her. He’d returned in time for the birth and then had left again. Months later, mother and daughter had been killed. He’d had no idea. No psychic sense of loss. Just a phone call in the middle of the day. He hadn’t even been in surgery.
He’d flown home immediately. His parents and in-laws had handled the details, leaving him to mourn. Shock had settled in. He’d barely known his darling little girl. Had planned on spending more time with her. But he’d never had the chance. The fault was his.
“Do you miss it?” he asked, shaking off the memories. “The travel? The going from place to place?”
“No,” Simon said easily. “I thought I would, but I’m happy here. I’ve found where I belong.” He shrugged. “I have the best of all worlds. My patients come to me. I’m with the woman I love in a town where I feel welcome.” He glanced at his friend. “I’m not like you, Alistair. I’ve never had a place to call home before now. Fool’s Gold gives me that and more.”
He put his brandy on the table by his chair and leaned forward. “The hospital