‘I’m still in charge,’ she whispered back. ‘I just let you hold me because it feeds your manly ego.’
‘You’re all heart.’
Well, that was true, she thought bleakly as she turned on her side with her back to him. It was a good description because, right now, it was the only part of herself of which she was aware and it was filled to the brim with her feelings for him.
Even with her back to him, she could feel him watching her and she squeezed her eyes shut and refused to let herself turn and look at him.
Gritting her teeth, she resigned herself to a night without sleep.
She was alone in the tent when she woke.
Outside she could hear noises. Mal was up and dismantling their camp.
Avery lay for a moment, staring up at the canvas, remembering the night before in excruciating detail.
Muttering a soft curse, she sat upright. The bite on her hand had calmed down overnight and was now nothing more than a red mark. If only all her other feelings had faded so easily. She didn’t want to think about the way he’d held her. She definitely didn’t want to think about what she might have said when she’d talked in her sleep.
Grabbing her bag, she cleansed her face with one of the wipes she always carried, applied suncream and minimal make-up and scooped her hair into a ponytail. Then she tugged a fresh shirt out of her bag and changed quickly.
That was the easy part. The hard part was leaving the tent.
Facing him, after what had happened the night before.
‘Coffee—’ Mal handed her a small cup of strong coffee and she took it with a murmur of thanks, avoiding eye contact as she sipped.
‘So you’re ready to move out?’
‘Whenever you are. How are you feeling?’
‘Fine! Never better.’ And never more embarrassed. She couldn’t decide whether to pretend it hadn’t happened or talk it down.
‘Let me see.’ He took her hand in his and somehow she resisted the impulse to snatch it away.
‘It’s settled down.’ Which was more than could be said for her pulse rate. Could he feel it? Could he feel what he was doing to her? ‘How’s the scorpion feeling this morning? Perky?’
His mouth flickered at the corners. ‘Deprived, I should think. He only got to take a single bite. I’m sure it was nowhere near enough.’
Her eyes skidded to his and then away again. ‘Well, that’s all he’s getting.’ She tugged her hand away from his and finished her coffee. ‘I’ll take the tent down.’
‘No. I want you to rest your hand. I’ll do it.’ He strode away from her and Avery breathed out slowly. She felt weird and she didn’t know if it was the after-effects of the scorpion bite or the after-effects of a night spent close to Mal.
He had the tent down in record time and the site cleared while Avery stood, eyeing the ground for more scorpions and wondering whether or not to say something. ‘Listen—’ she watched as he threw the tent into the trunk, distracted as the powerful muscles in his shoulders rippled and flexed ‘—about last night—’
‘Which part of last night?’
‘The part when I—’ She cleared her throat. ‘The part when I wasn’t quite myself.’
‘Was that the moment when you clung to me, or the moment you begged me not to leave you?’
‘I didn’t beg. And I didn’t cling.’ She emptied the dregs of her coffee onto the ground. ‘Not exactly.’
‘You needed me. But I can understand that it’s hard for you to admit to needing anyone.’ There was an edge to his voice that she didn’t understand because surely they were way past this in their relationship.
‘I didn’t need you, but if it suits you to believe that then fine. I wish I’d never mentioned it. How long until we find your bride?’ The sooner the better as far as she was concerned. Suddenly she wished she hadn’t allowed her conscience to push her into this trip. No matter what she’d said to Kalila, if the girl had chosen to leg it into the desert that was ultimately her responsibility, wasn’t it? Nothing was worth this additional stress.
‘It is about a two-hour drive from here.’ He slung the rest of their gear into the vehicle and sprang into the driver’s seat.
Two hours and that would be it, she thought numbly. He’d find his bride. They’d sort things out. Mal would marry her. And all she’d ever be to him was a past he wanted to forget.
They’d see each other at the occasional high profile party. They’d be polite and friendly and formal. And in time the pain would fade.
She rubbed her hand over her chest.
He caught the movement and frowned slightly but Avery ignored his quizzical look and walked round to the passenger side.
This time, instead of arguing, they made the journey in silence but it didn’t seem to make a difference. She was painfully conscious of him, her eyes drawn to every tiny movement. The flex of his thigh as he drove, the strength of his hands on the wheel. The atmosphere was so tense and loaded that when they finally pulled in to the camp Avery was the first out of the car. She wanted to get this done. She had to get this done.
‘Stay there. I’ll ask a few questions and try to find out where she is. You’ll draw too much attention to yourself.’ Without waiting for his response, she walked towards the tent that doubled as ‘reception’ but, before she reached it, she noticed the slim figure of a girl hurrying, head down, into a tent at the far side of the camp.
Kalila?
Sure it was her, Avery walked straight towards the tent where she’d seen the girl disappear.
‘Have you seen her?’ Mal was right behind her and she scowled at him.
‘I don’t know. I think so, but presumably she doesn’t want to see you or she would have gone to you in the first place. I think you should wait in the car.’
‘Am I so fearsome?’ Those ebony eyes glittered down at her and just for a moment she felt the connection, powerful and unsettling. Yes, he was fearsome. Because of him she’d almost lost everything she’d worked to build.
‘I have no idea what she thinks about you. And I’m not going to find out if you’re standing there scowling. Go and take a stroll in the desert for a few minutes.’ Pulling aside the flap of the tent, she stepped inside. And stared in dismay because there, in the centre of the tent was Kalila. And wrapped around her was a man. A man who was most certainly not her bridegroom to be.
Avery absorbed the undeniable evidence that yet another relationship had crashed and burned. Despite her own unshakeable cynicism, this time she was shocked. Of all the scenarios that had played around in her head, this had not been among them. Or maybe she hadn’t allowed herself to think that the marriage might not go ahead. It had to go ahead. It had to.
Panic rippled through her and this time she didn’t know if it was for herself or Kalila.
Maybe if Mal didn’t see—if she could just talk to Kalila—do something—
She tried to back out of the tent before the couple noticed her and almost tripped over Mal, who was right behind her. Her retreat blocked by his powerful body, she tried to thrust him back. ‘It’s not her. My mistake.’
He stood firm, refusing to budge, his handsome face blank of expression as he contemplated the scene in front of him. There was no visible sign of emotion, but it wasn’t hard to guess his feelings and her heart squeezed.
Damn. It wasn’t even as if she believed in happy endings. But to have the ending before the beginning was particularly harsh. Whatever his