across the C-Leg prosthetic limb on her right leg as though trying to hide as much of the amputation as possible.
Lyn studied her child’s tight profile and long white-blond hair. The girl was beautiful. If only the other children would treat her like a normal kid. But that was just the problem. Kristen wasn’t normal. And she never would be. “How can they not like you? They hardly know you yet. We’ve only been here a couple of months.”
Kristen tapped her knuckles hard against the socket of the prosthetic limb. “This is all they see, Mom. They call me peg leg and gimp.”
Lyn’s heart wrenched. Kids could be so cruel. If only they’d get to know Kristen, they’d learn what a smart, sweet girl she was. And so easy to love.
“I hate it here. I want to go home.” Tears watered Kristen’s voice as she flounced around and glared out the window.
“We are home, honey.” Lyn wanted to cry, too, but didn’t think that would do Kristen any good. Alone at night in her dark bedroom, Lyn allowed her emotions to flow across her pillow. But in the light of day, she must be strong. For both her and Kristen’s sakes.
“Maybe you could wear blue jeans more often.” Dresses were easier in case Kristen needed to adjust her prosthetic limb, but pants hid the apparatus from view.
“It won’t help. I limp and can’t run. They know something’s wrong with me. They don’t like me.”
Lyn’s heart ached for her daughter. How she wished she could protect her from this pain. Even if they covered up the prosthesis, Kristen jerked so hard when she walked that people frequently stared at her. They knew immediately that the girl was impaired, but they didn’t understand why. Lyn had even heard a woman in the grocery store yesterday whisper loudly that Kristen must be retarded. As if her leg had anything to do with her brain. In fact, the opposite was true. Kristen pulled top grades in science and math. If only she could walk better, she might fit in more.
“Well, I adore you,” Lyn said with a smile.
“You don’t count, Mom. You have to love me because I’m your kid.”
Lyn snorted. “If that were true, there’d be a lot fewer abusive mothers in the world, honey. I love you more than my own life. And that’s that.”
Kristen tossed her head and huffed out a big sigh of exasperation. “You just don’t understand.”
Lyn understood more than Kristen realized. But friends and peer pressure were so important to a young girl. Especially a girl with only one leg. Moms didn’t count at this point in life. If only it had been Lyn who had lost her leg in the accident. Not Kristen. Not her precious little girl.
Pressing on the brake again, Lyn came to a stop sign. A lance of vivid memory pierced her mind. The car crash had been caused by a drunk driver, now incarcerated in a state penitentiary. But that wouldn’t restore Kristen’s leg or bring Rob back. Nor did it ease Lyn’s conscience over her part in what had happened. Though it’d only been a year earlier, Kristen had been so young. Only nine years old. They’d both lost the father and husband they dearly adored.
Rob. The love of Lyn’s life.
She glanced in the rearview mirror. No one behind her, so she paused long enough to talk with Kristen for a few moments. Reaching across the seat, Lyn brushed her hand down the silken length of Kristen’s hair. “I know this is hard, honey. But you’re so pretty and smart. All your teachers tell me you’re their best student. You’ve got a lot going for you. We’ve just got to keep trying.”
Kristen shrugged off Lyn’s hand, her voice thick with resentment. “You mean I’ve got to keep trying. I’m the one without a leg, not you. And Daddy’s dead. The only reason I’m a good student is because I promised him.”
Oh, that hurt. Not a day went by that she didn’t feel guilty for surviving uninjured while her husband had died and her daughter lost her leg. But Kristen was too young to understand how much a mother loved her child. Or just how much Lyn missed her husband.
“I know, honey. Please believe me—if I could take this pain from you, I would. I just want to help. We can’t give up. Not ever.”
Lyn might have reached over and hugged Kristen, but a driver pulled up behind them and blared the horn of their car. Lyn jerked her head around. Kathy Newton, a woman she’d recently met at Kristen’s school, waved at them. Returning the gesture with a plastic smile, Lyn pressed on the gas. Two blocks later, she turned the corner and parked in front of the doctor’s office before killing the motor.
“Maybe this new doctor can help you walk straighter,” Lyn suggested. “Your old doctor highly recommended him.”
A prosthesis specialist in such a small town was rare. Apparently this doctor was a former U.S. marine. Lyn had been told that he’d seen several of his buddies lose their limbs during the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, and he’d done a lot of work in the field of prosthetics. And that could be really promising for Kristen.
“Nothing can help me walk without a limp. Everyone will always know something’s wrong with me,” Kristen said.
The ominous words were spoken to the glass windowpane. Kristen refused to look at her, and Lyn couldn’t blame her. Since the accident, Lyn could hardly stand to face herself. She’d hoped her transfer to this small ranching town might help make a difference for both of them. The slower pace. Fewer people. The jagged mountains and open, windswept valleys covered by bleached grass and sage. They both needed time to heal. Lyn had no outward scars, but inside, the accident had disfigured her beyond recognition. She’d never be the same again.
Neither would Kristen.
If only there was some way Lyn could go back in time, she’d find a reason to miss their appointment to view the Appaloosa mare. Their family had been so carefree that evening. Excited to buy Kristen’s first horse. Both Lyn and Rob had been raised on a ranch, and Rob had been a regional rodeo champion during high school. They wanted to share their love of equines with their daughter. They’d discussed the idea for months. Kristen was fearless on a horse. She’d make such a great rider.
Lyn had just picked up Rob from work and was driving the car. Kristen had been sitting between them in the front seat, all of their seat belts securely fastened. They’d been talking. Laughing. And then Lyn turned onto a narrow street with a guardrail. The grille of a semitruck filled their view, followed by the sickening thunder of the crash. No time to react. No time to move.
Now Lyn closed her eyes tight, absorbing the memory as though it had just happened. If only she’d swerved and missed the oncoming truck. Maybe if she’d hit the brakes sooner. Or taken a different route. Anything to have changed the outcome.
Losing Rob had stolen all the joy in their lives. That night had been the last time they’d laughed together or felt genuinely happy.
The last time Lyn had prayed.
Filled with gloomy thoughts, she got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side to help Kristen. Again, the girl brushed aside Lyn’s hands.
“I’ll do it myself,” the girl grumbled.
Lyn stood back, waiting nearby in case Kristen stumbled. An ocean of hurt separated them. Lyn wondered if they’d ever be close again.
Kristen hobbled toward the doctor’s office. With each wrenching step, the foot of her cumbersome prosthesis smacked the cement sidewalk like a club. Lyn had to keep herself from flinching at the horrible sound. She followed close by, wishing Kristen would use her wheelchair more. But the girl refused. Lyn held her arms outstretched to catch Kristen in case she fell.
Inside the small office, Kristen plopped down onto a cushioned chair. An older man sat across from them, his denim shirt accented by a turquoise bolo tie. Twin streaks of gray marred his straight black hair. Parted in the middle, the long strands flowed past his shoulders, ornamented by a single white-and-gray feather. He held a beat-up cowboy hat in his leathery hands. Though he showed no expression on his tanned face, his intelligent