she mouthed.
He made a brief hand gesture to tell her it was OK, but she knew it wasn’t. Yet again she’d messed up when it came to dealing with other people. Dealing with patients and colleagues, she could do; other kinds of personal interactions were much, much trickier. Which was why she usually managed to avoid them. Especially since the way she’d messed up with Joe and his family.
‘I’d better get this young lady home,’ Daniel said, as if he knew how awkward she felt and had taken pity on her.
She nodded. ‘Well, thank you very much for coming in to see me, Mia. It’s lovely to see that you’re so much better. I’ll put your card up on our special board, so everyone can see it, and we’ll all really enjoy these cakes.’
‘Good. I put extra sprinkles on yours,’ the little girl said, pointing out one that was extra pink and sparkly.
‘It looks gorgeous. Thank you.’
Stephanie waved her goodbye and shared out the cakes with the rest of the team on duty. But that evening, as she ate her cupcake, it struck her how a stranger could be so much kinder than family. And it made her feel really alone. She didn’t have a family at all now, not even the in-laws who’d barely accepted her in the first place but had been the nearest she’d had to a real family. And the previous month she’d moved from Manchester to London, so she didn’t have any really close friends nearby either.
She shook herself. Enough whining. Things were just fine. There was no problem at work; she’d fitted in easily to her new role and already felt part of the team. Though she knew that was probably thanks to growing up in an institution; it meant that she knew exactly how to fit in to an institution, whether it was school or university or the hospital. Whereas, when it came to family…
OK, so Joe’s family had refused to accept where she’d come from and had always treated her as an outsider; but at the same time Stephanie knew she had to accept the lion’s share of the blame for the wreckage of her marriage. She hadn’t exactly made it easy for Joe’s parents and sister, either. Not being familiar with a family dynamic, Stephanie simply didn’t know how to react in a family. She’d never been quite sure what had been teasing and what hadn’t; so she’d never really joined in, not wanting to get it wrong and hurt someone.
Was it any wonder they’d tended to leave her on the sidelines? And of course Joe would take their part over hers. They were his family and, despite the promises she and Joe had made in a packed church, she wasn’t.
And now she was being really maudlin and pathetic. ‘Stop feeling so sorry for yourself, Stephanie Scott,’ she told herself fiercely. Her new life was just fine. She liked her colleagues, she liked her flat and she liked the hospital. She had a great career in the making. And she was not going to let a cupcake throw her. Even if it had been made with extra sparkles.
Everything was fine until the inter-departmental quiz evening on Friday night. Almost as soon as Stephanie walked into the pub and was hailed by her team, she noticed who was sitting on the maternity department’s table.
Daniel Connor.
And the prickle of awareness shocked her. She wasn’t used to noticing men on anything other than a patient-or-colleague basis. She hadn’t been attracted to anyone since her break-up with Joe. And Daniel Connor definitely wasn’t the kind of man she could let herself get attracted to. He came with complications. With baggage. A family. The thing she’d wanted all her life, but had learned the hard way that it just wasn’t for her.
So she damped down that prickle of awareness, ramped up her smile, and threw herself into full colleague mode as she headed for the paediatric department’s table.
Katrina Morgan patted the chair next to hers. ‘I saved you a seat, Stephanie.’
‘Thank you.’ Stephanie smiled at her and slid into the seat.
‘Did you do this sort of thing where you were before?’ Katrina asked.
‘In Manchester? Not as often as I’d have liked to,’ Stephanie admitted. ‘Our team nights out tended to involved Chinese food, ten-pin bowling, or going to a gig.’
‘It’s pretty much like that here too,’ Katrina said, ‘though there’s the annual charity ball. My cousin helps organise that and it’s the highlight of the hospital social calendar. It’s a shame you’ll have to wait until next year’s now.’
‘It’s something to look forward to,’ Stephanie said. Being positive. The way she’d always taught herself to be, even in those dark days before she’d walked out on her marriage. Smile with the world, and they’ll all smile with you. Most of the time, anyway.
She accepted the glass of wine that Rhys Morgan offered her and thoroughly enjoyed taking part in the quiz; she’d always enjoyed trivia games. Each round, the team with the lowest score was knocked out; and the last round saw the paediatrics team going head to head with the maternity ward’s team.
And the subject was history. The one subject that had almost tempted Stephanie away from doing a medical degree.
‘How do you know all this stuff?’ Katrina asked when Stephanie scribbled down their answers, naming Henry VIII’s fourth wife and what happened to her.
‘We learned a rhyme at school,’ Stephanie said with a smile. ‘I liked history. But I’m glad there are others in our team who know about sport. I’m hopeless when it comes to sport, and I would’ve lost the quiz for us.’
‘You were good on literature, too,’ Katrina said. ‘And general knowledge.’
‘Well, I read a lot.’ Stephanie shrugged off the praise, but inwardly she was pleased. Here, at the London Victoria, she fitted in. And life was going to be just fine.
The question papers were finally marked by the emergency department’s team. ‘And the winner—by a clear ten points—is the paediatric team,’ Max Fenton announced. ‘Well done. You get the tin of biscuits this month. But don’t think you’re going to make it two in a row, Morgan,’ he informed the paediatrics consultant. ‘We’re still in the lead overall.’
‘By all of two quizzes. Don’t count your chickens.’ Rhys laughed. ‘We have a secret weapon now.’
‘Who could just as well be on our team,’ Max said, ‘given that the PAU has such a crossover with the emergency department.’
‘Hands off. She’s ours,’ Rhys said.
Stephanie was pretty sure that it was just friendly bickering, but even so she judged it politic to disappear to the toilet until any ruffled feathers had been smoothed over.
On the way back, she discovered that all the teams had merged and groups of people were sitting at different tables. Not quite sure which one to join, she paused and scanned the room.
‘Hey, Stephanie.’
Relieved at not being totally deserted, she turned towards the voice.
Daniel Connor.
He smiled at her. ‘Seeing as you wiped the floor with us, will you let me buy you a celebratory drink?’
Did he mean as a colleague?
If she could pigeonhole him just as a friend and colleague, and ignore the way her heart seemed to do a backflip every time he smiled, it would be fine. OK, so she knew he was single, which meant there was no reason why he shouldn’t ask her to have a drink with him as more than just a friendly gesture from a colleague; but she was pretty sure that he had as much emotional baggage as she did. She had no idea how long ago he’d lost his wife, and she wouldn’t dream of asking, but for all she knew he could still be healing. Just as she was. Neither of them needed any complications.
‘Stephanie?’ he prompted.
She had to answer now. ‘A drink from a colleague would be lovely.’ Just to make the terms clear. ‘Thank you.’
‘What