and she didn’t really want to think too deeply about why.
Vivi glanced into the bedroom, her attention locking straight onto the male and female apparel currently being unpacked by staff. ‘So, what happened to the—?’
In haste, Zoe thrust open the bathroom door, although she hadn’t yet added anything to its décor, and then froze at the sight of the very opulent tasselled purple fainting couch in the centre.
‘Oh, I like that...it’s sort of sexy and decadent!’ Vivi carolled, walking over to smooth a hand across the rich buttoned upholstery and flick a braided gold tassel.
Zoe was recalling her conversation with Raj and her face was burning hot as hellfire even while a little flicker of heat at her core flamed at the gesture...the challenge. Would she or wouldn’t she? He would be wondering all day about that, she knew he would be, and a dreamy smile at the knowledge of that erotic prospect removed the tension that Vivi’s arrival and awkward questions had induced.
‘You know, I don’t even need to ask you any more.’ Vivi sighed as she returned to her coffee. ‘Obviously, the separate bedroom deal crashed very quickly and you’re sleeping with him. Whose idea was that? I hardly think it was yours! If you get too involved with Raj, Zoe...there will be consequences, because what you have together isn’t supposed to last...and where will you be when the marriage ends?’
‘It doesn’t matter whose idea it was,’ Zoe argued quietly. ‘All that matters is that there isn’t a problem of any kind with Raj and I, and our present arrangements are our private business.’
Vivi groaned out loud. ‘You’re besotted with him. It’s written all over you,’ she condemned, her concern palpable. ‘That smooth bastard took advantage of you just as I feared he would!’
‘Vivi!’ Zoe blistered across the room in a furious voice her sister had never heard from her before. ‘You do not talk about Raj like that!’
‘I’m not saying anything I wouldn’t say to his face!’ Vivi shot back at her defensively. ‘I’m trying to protect you but it looks like I got here a little too late for that. Damn Grandad, this is all his fault, his wretched snobbery pushing you into this marriage, and now you’re going to get hurt.’
Zoe drew herself up to her full unimpressive height. ‘There is no reason why I should get hurt.’
‘I know what I saw in your face...you’re in love with this guy, who only married you to please his father and use our fancy-schmancy grandmother’s ancestry to enhance his standing.’
‘I’m not in love with him,’ Zoe argued fiercely. ‘It sounds slutty but we’re just having sex for the sake of it!’
Vivi unleashed a pained and unimpressed sigh. ‘And what would you know about a relationship like that?’
Zoe lifted her head high. ‘I’m learning as I go along, just like every other woman has to. I need that freedom, even if I make mistakes... It’s part of growing up,’ she reasoned.
‘You’re definitely growing up,’ Vivi conceded ruefully. ‘I never thought there would come a day when you would fight with me.’
‘Even Winnie fights with you!’ Zoe laughed and gave her much taller sister a hug, relieved the unnervingly intimate dispute was over.
After Vivi had been picked up an hour later, Zoe walked thoughtfully back to her suite with Raj. Not. In. Love. With. Him. She was simply happy and there was nothing wrong with being happy, was there? Zoe hadn’t enjoyed much happiness in her life and she was determined to make the most of every moment.
She studied the fainting couch set out like a statement, an invitation, and she smiled before she wandered down the steps to the private courtyard around which their rooms ranged, which allowed them complete privacy.
And all around her she could see the proof of Raj’s desire to please her and make her happy, for the once dark courtyard had been replanted during their absence into a spectacular jungle of greenery amongst which exotic flowers bloomed. Even the fountain she had admired, which had long since fallen out of use, was now working again, clean water sparkling down into the brightly tiled basin below. He hadn’t mentioned a word about his intentions, but then he never did. He never looked for thanks either. Gifts simply appeared without fanfare, gifts like the wonderful transformation of an outdated, neglected courtyard garden.
She didn’t need him to love her as he had loved Nabila, she only needed the proof that he cared, Zoe reflected fiercely. And care he did with amazing efficiency and resolve. How could she expect any more than that in a pretend marriage? After all, he was already giving her much more than she had expected to receive. It wasn’t going to last, she knew that, accepted that and that was her choice, her choice to live for today and worry about tomorrow only when it arrived...
ZOE SAT UP in bed and her head swam and her tummy rolled.
Worry gripped her. She had believed she had caught a virus when the symptoms first started but weeks had passed since then and the unwell feeling was lingering, despite the careful diet she had observed. Raj had wanted to get the palace doctor in but she had stalled him once a greater concern began to nag at her nerves.
Zoe grimaced at her pallid reflection in the bathroom mirror. She had lost weight and her eyes looked too big for her face. As soon as the dizziness had evaporated, she went for a shower, striving not to agonise again over the reality that she had not had a period since she’d arrived in Maraban. After all, she couldn’t possibly be pregnant even if the light head, the nausea and her tender breasts reminded her of what her sisters had experienced during pregnancy. How could she be pregnant when Raj had not once run the risk of getting her pregnant? But, she did recall once, weeks ago in the shower when he had overlooked the necessity and she had meant to mention it but hadn’t been worried enough to do so.Now she wished she had pointed out that oversight.
Of course no method of birth control was infallible, another little voice nagged at the back of her head. And how on earth was she to put her worries to rest when the acquisition of a pregnancy test in secret had so far proved beyond her capabilities. She never got the opportunity to leave the palace alone. She was surrounded by security and all too many helpful people when she went out. Let’s face it, Zoe, she thought forlornly, the Crown Princess of Maraban cannot be seen buying a pregnancy test without causing a furore. It was ironic that what would have thrilled the population filled Zoe with sick apprehension because she couldn’t forget Raj saying that such a development would be a disaster in their situation.
Of course, it would be when it was only a pretend marriage and if she had a boy, he would be next in line to the throne. If she was pregnant and it was a boy, she would have to live in Maraban for at least the next twenty years as Raj’s ex-wife and she certainly didn’t fancy that option as a future. She would have to sit on the outskirts of his life, watching him marry another woman and have a family with her. Naturally, Raj would move on after their marriage ended but she certainly didn’t want to sit around nearby to actually watch him doing it.
When she emerged from her bedroom, dressed in a pastel-blue dress with her hair in a braid and her make-up immaculate, Bahar, her PA—or social secretary, as Zoe preferred to think of the young attractive brunette—awaited her with a list of her appointments. It pleased her tremendously that after three months away from home she had now acquired the confidence to handle visiting schools and such places without having to drag Raj everywhere with her for support. Coming to Maraban and marrying Raj had been the best decision she had ever made when it came to getting stronger and moving forward with her life.
As her breakfast was brought to the table, Zoe’s stomach lurched even as she looked at it and she pushed the plate away and settled for a cup of tea. After all, she couldn’t afford to eat if she was going out to an official engagement where her succumbing to a bout