could lift her up and carry her over the small pond. He wanted nothing more than to hold her and keep her safe, but he couldn’t allow sympathy or temptation to sway his better judgment.
He didn’t want to hurt her, but he couldn’t honor her request. Visitations, yes, but not shared custody.
When he looked back on the years after his parents died, the only thing holding him together while he struggled to help with his brothers had been knowing who he was and where he belonged. Gram worked hard to give his brothers and him that sense of continuity and belonging. No way he could look her in the face and do less for his son.
He hadn’t planned on this child, but now that he knew of him, Alex meant to do everything in his power to provide the best home possible for him.
Alex wouldn’t put his son through the displacement that came from splitting a child between shared households.
“I’m sorry, but no.”
Defeat momentarily showed in the slumping of her shoulders as she turned away, shielding her disappointment from him. His fingers flexed around Gabe’s ankle with the urge to reach out to her. Alex regretted causing her distress, but not even for her would he compromise his beliefs.
Somewhat desperately, she pleaded. “At least tell me you’ll get him a dog. To play with and keep him company. I was going to get him a puppy for his birthday.”
She probably thought it was a small thing to ask. For him it wasn’t small at all. He’d taken on all he could handle for now. “I need peace at the end of the day. Dogs are loud and messy.”
“No dog?”
“No dog.”
He saw her hands clench into fists and she led with her chin when she swung back to him.
“Why are you doing this? You don’t even want children. Everyone knows your marriage ended because your wife wanted children and you didn’t.”
All sympathy ended under a sudden lash of sorrow and pain. He turned his attention back to the ducks, but still he saw her in his peripheral vision. Indignant. Justified. Wrong.
“No. My marriage ended the day my daughter died.”
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