maybe thanks to her influence, Stella was becoming different.
Alex liked that.
He liked it a lot.
He thought back to those first minutes of meeting Susie. To what he had perceived as an unprofessional- looking, difficult woman who had seemed intent on telling him how he should be bringing up his daughter. Ready to stand there and fight on Stella’s behalf, no less. Prepared to antagonise him right from the start. No hint of using Stella as a means to get closer to him. Quite the opposite.
And if he’d harboured any doubts about her sincerity, they had blown away when he’d seen those tears this afternoon. Her sheer joy in sharing Stella’s victory. Joy that spoke of a real understanding of what his daughter had been through in the last couple of years.
What he’d been through.
That moment had touched something very deep within Alex. Deep enough to have been hidden even from himself. For the first time he had realised what he’d missed in not having someone close enough to share those dark times. Someone he could trust enough to lean on. He’d been so sure he hadn’t needed that. He’d proved he hadn’t needed it.
Catching Susie’s gaze at that poignant moment of triumph had shown him how much easier it would have been to have had someone like Susie by his side.
No, not someone like Susie.
Only Susie.
The idea that there could be some way to keep her in his life was new. Startling enough to make Alex pause as he reached the beach. To stand and watch the gentle surf rolling in instead of searching the shoreline for the people he was trying to find.
What the hell did he think he was doing? He’d sworn off ever thinking like this again. He needed a moment to remind himself why. To remember the betrayal that had been intolerable because it had involved someone more important than himself.
Stella.
Strangely, the bitterness associated with summoning Greta’s image into his head had lessened. So much that it was difficult to find it and, by association, hard to resurrect the mistrust for any woman that automatically precluded the idea of a meaningful relationship.
He had loved Greta. Stella had loved her. Perhaps it had been the girl’s conviction that she had finally found the mother she’d been desperate for since she was old enough to notice what was missing in her life that had persuaded Alex to take that relationship to the next level.
To—almost—propose marriage.
Thank God he hadn’t. The pretence of her love for Stella had been unmasked with astonishing ease. From the moment the cancer had been diagnosed, Greta had backed away from hospital visits, unable to disguise her distaste for hair that had come out in handfuls and the inevitable vomiting from the chemo.
Susie wouldn’t have been like that. She would have been there, holding a distressed girl’s head. Finding something prettier than a baseball cap to hide the hair loss. Ready for when Stella felt well enough to show her how to use make-up to help her feel better about the way she looked.
Alex had seen more than the tears of joy at Stella’s success today. He had seen where they had come from. Not simply the comprehension of the struggle to get to that point. The depth of Susie’s involvement in that moment could only have come from the way she felt about Stella.
The bond she had already demonstrated when she had so willingly and effectively dealt with the bathroom crisis the other night.
Real caring.
Love.
Yes. Alex took a long, deliberate inward breath and let it out very slowly. It might take time to get used to feeling this way but new determination was being born. Determination to continue this journey with Susie Jackson and to see where it might lead them all.
It wasn’t because of the way Susie felt about his daughter. That had simply opened a door he had considered locked. Made it a possibility that he could trust again. Allowed him the undeniable thrill at the prospect of more of what he had shared with Susie last night.
He wanted her.
He wanted her more than he had ever wanted any woman and allowing himself to consider the possibility that it could work was fuelling a spark of passion that felt as if it could become…huge.
Big enough to last a lifetime?
He would be stupid not to make sure he found the answer to that question.
Susie had been for a swim. A gloriously refreshing, cooling swim out beyond the breakers. The stresses of the day were pushed to one side for the moment and now, blissfully, she lay on her towel, letting the warmth of the afternoon sun dry her body. So relaxed she was half-asleep.
When she saw Alex approaching, the image misted by the lashes of her almost closed eyes, Susie thought she was slipping into that delicious, pre-sleep state where you could trick your mind into making fantasy seem real. Then desire kicked in and she pushed herself up onto her elbows. Her body knew this was no fantasy. Alex was walking towards her.
Smiling.
With an expression that made her feel as though she was the only person he was interested in.
As though the only thing on his mind was taking her into his arms and kissing her senseless.
Susie twisted into a sitting position, reaching for her T-shirt with the intention of shaking out the sand and putting it on, despite the fact her bikini was still wet. Funny how she felt so exposed when Alex had seen far more of her body last night.
Seen it. Touched it. Tasted it.
Oh, Lord! The T-shirt was caught under Stella’s crutches and Susie’s tug made them rattle. Glancing up, she found the sound had diverted Alex’s attention.
‘Where’s Stella?’
‘Walking.’
‘On sand? Without her crutches?’
‘She’s got some help.’ The T-shirt was forgotten as Susie pointed down the beach to where Stella was walking, slowly, on the damp sand left by the receding tide.
‘It’s that boy again.’ Alex’s stare was intent. ‘Theos! They’re holding hands!’
‘To help her keep her balance,’ Susie said serenely. ‘That’s all.’
Alex made a growling sound and Susie’s lips twitched. ‘It’s OK,’ she said. ‘They like each other, Alex. Stella’s going to do more to impress Jamie than she would for me. Or even you, I suspect.’
‘She’s far too young for that sort of carry-on.’
‘She’s nearly fourteen. How old were you when you thought you were in love for the first time?’
‘Oh, God!’ Alex groaned, folding his long frame to sit on the edge of Susie’s towel. ‘I was fourteen.’
‘There you go, then.’ Susie wrapped her arms around her legs and grinned at Alex. ‘Runs in the family. Memorable, isn’t it, that first love?’
‘Yes.’
‘You wouldn’t have been too impressed if your father had told you you weren’t old enough. Or, worse, forbidden it.’
‘He tried to.’
‘And what happened?’
Alex shook his head but he was smiling. ‘I married her a few years later. When I was eighteen.’
‘Oh…’ The answer had been unexpected. It was hardly the adolescence of someone who had all the hallmarks of being a skilled player. ‘Was that…Stella’s mother?’
‘Yes. Helena. The girl next door. Or from the next village, anyway.’ Alex was still staring