head was swimming. She was now grasping exactly what was being said. She had been looking at the prospect of a year with Theo—a year trying to fight the impulses that were so much bigger than her...a year knowing that every time he crooked his finger it would take all the strength at her disposal not to go running...a year of knowing that she would walk away from their relationship battered and hurt beyond comprehension.
That year wasn’t going to happen now. She was being given her Get Out Of Jail Free card—and so was Theo.
And the future yawned in front of her like a black, empty void.
‘So...’ she said slowly.
‘Yes, my darling.’ Cora reached across the width of the kitchen table to pat her daughter’s hand. ‘And of course the press have hounded you both. You will simply tell them that the engagement’s off and so is the marriage...’
* * *
Alexa headed for the most secluded seat in the first class lounge at the airport. She didn’t want to be near anyone because she didn’t want to be dragged into making small talk. She’d been operating on automatic for the past three weeks and she planned on carrying on doing just that—at least until she reached London, when she was banking on new surroundings and the thrill of her new job to rescue her from the zombie-like torpor into which she had sunk.
Where had Theo gone? She didn’t know, and of course she had been too proud to ask her parents. She had moaned and railed against the situation in which she had found herself, and yet when that situation had been whipped out from under her feet she had been lost because she had become so dependent on him.
In the blink of an eye he had gone from being just the sort of guy she would run a mile from to being just the sort of guy she couldn’t imagine living without.
But live without him she would, and it hurt more than she could ever have contemplated in those carefree first few days when she had actually disliked him.
The press, predictably, had passed a few days speculating on the break-up of the perfectly matched couple and then, just as predictably, new scandals and gossip had drawn them away.
Now, staring down at the book on her lap, and with two hours of waiting ahead of her because she had been itching to leave, she thought back to the brief conversation she had had with Theo after his father and her parents had fled the scene, leaving them stranded in the kitchen like a couple of castaways, washed up on a beach after being stuck on a raft together but with nothing to say now that the storm had passed.
The passionate lover had gone. He had carefully asked her what her plans were now. One minute he hadn’t been able to keep his hands off her—the next minute, freed from the shackles of a union he’d never asked for, he’d been coolly indifferent.
Of course she had gone on about the relief of not having to face a marriage neither of them had wanted. The more indifferent he’d seemed, the more she had sparkled, voicing the joys of her newfound freedom.
And then he’d gone, and she’d been left in an empty kitchen contemplating the horror of her newfound freedom.
London. Her parents had an apartment there. It was where she had lived before she had left for Italy and she would go back there. She had phoned her old company, who had remembered her, and after a million calls they had found her a job.
The change of scene would do her good—she knew that. Just being in her parents’ house had reminded her of Theo. And in the dead of night, her whole body ached for him.
Right, she thought severely, think about the good stuff.
No falling deeper and deeper in love with a man who didn’t love her. No agonising year together, during which time he would have grown tired of her body and settled back into enduring the time he was forced to spend in her company. He had simply been her lover, and she knew that she would eventually meet someone else—someone she could entrust with her heart.
She forced herself to read a few pages of her book and was totally unaware of anyone approaching her until a shadow fell over her. When she looked down she saw a pair of very expensive loafers and didn’t bother to look any higher, because if she didn’t then whoever it was wouldn’t ask her if she’d mind if he sat next to her.
‘Alexa.’
For a few seconds Alexa was convinced that she’d misheard her name being said—and had definitely misconstrued that rich, mellow voice she had come to love.
She hunkered down and ignored whoever it was—because he hadn’t spoken, and it was just her feverish imagination playing tricks on her.
‘Are you going to acknowledge me or are you going to carry on reading...? What are you reading?’
The book was whipped out of her hands and there he was, standing right in front of her, as cool as a cucumber and as devastatingly sexy as every single memory she had of him.
In a pair of cream trousers and a black T-shirt, with a cream linen jacket hooked over one shoulder, he was drop-dead gorgeous.
‘Still on the crime novels, I see. Would you like me to predict the end?’
‘What are you doing here?’
Her voice was a hoarse whisper and she cleared her throat, then fidgeted as he took the empty chair next to her and pulled it in, so that there was no way she could avoid looking at him.
Theo wished there was an easy answer to that question—something glib that he could pull out from up his sleeve—but there wasn’t. He had spent the past three weeks unable to focus, unable to concentrate—unable to do anything but think about her, even though he had told himself that it was great that he had been released from the obligation of a marriage he hadn’t wanted...great that he could resume his life as he had always wanted it...great that his routine would be returned to him.
His address book was bulging with names and phone numbers of women, and all of them without exception would have welcomed a call from him. He had known that.
He hadn’t called any of them because he’d had too much catching up to do on the work front. That was what he had told himself. Until he’d been forced to face the fact that he missed her. Not just her warm, welcoming body, which he had known for such a brief period of time, but he missed the whole package. He missed the way she bristled and glared at him...the way she never obeyed any of his ‘No Trespassing’ signs but got stuck in and told him just what she thought of him anyway. He missed her shy, hesitant smiles and the ready way her eyes filled up with tears. He missed the softness underneath the feisty scrapper. Most of all he just missed the woman who had been born to have it all and had chosen to do her own thing and ignore the life she had been conditioned to lead.
Except he had no idea how to put any of that into words, and he could feel her blazing eyes on him—could feel her willing him to just go away.
‘How have you been?’ he asked, in a lame attempt to kick-start the conversation.
‘Fine,’ Alexa said coldly. ‘Are you travelling to London? I had no idea.’
‘And if you had you would have checked on to a different flight...?’
Alexa shrugged. ‘Probably,’ she told him truthfully. ‘You can’t deny that this situation is a little uncomfortable at the moment. I do realise we’ll probably bump into one another in the years to come, but right now...’
‘I get it. From being lovers and engaged to...nothing...’
Resting his forearms on his thighs as he leaned forward, Theo raked his fingers through his hair and took some small comfort from the delicate blush that bloomed in her cheeks at the mention of their having been lovers.
‘I don’t want to talk about that,’ Alexa said stiffly. ‘In fact I’d rather you left me alone,’ she continued, barely able to look at him. ‘I have lots of planning to do for my new job in London and I really would like to do that in peace and quiet.’
‘No.’