thing since the last time we talked?” Hakim asked in a tone that said he knew the answer already.
“What are you? A gossiping old woman? Wanting to know my feelings.”
Instead of getting offended, Hakim’s chuckle said he was mightily amused. “What has you so confused, cousin?”
“She will not allow me to call her aziz.” He’d made the mistake of letting it slip out the night before and he’d woken up to an empty bed, Iris’s pillow cold from her departure.
“Catherine wasn’t thrilled with me using endearments she didn’t think I meant, either.”
“But you meant them?” He had to have. Hakim loved his wife fiercely.
“Yes, though it took me a while to realize it. Have you figured it out yet?”
“I have never heard my grandfather tell my grandmother he loves her, but their marriage is as enduring as the mountains.” Personally, Asad could happily live the rest of his life without making himself that vulnerable.
So long as it didn’t mean losing Iris.
“You don’t know what he says in their private moments,” Hakim observed. “But more importantly, he has not given Aunt Genevieve cause to doubt him. My esteemed great-uncle treats his wife like she is the queen of his existence and always has.”
“I have done my utmost to treat Iris with great affection and care since she arrived in Kadar. I’ve given up working in my office, put off meetings with important business associates and politicians.”
“Does she know that?”
“Naturally not.” He did not wish to make her feel bad for the time he made for her.
“How is she supposed to know she’s become the queen of your world if you don’t tell her?”
“I did not say she was my queen. She will be my lady.”
“She’s going to be the Sha’b Al’najid’s lady. You want her to be your wife.”
“It is the same.”
“Don’t believe it.”
Asad grumbled, “Catherine ran you a merry chase.”
“She did and I have never regretted one moment of it, or joining my life with hers.”
“You once told me that Catherine had regretted it,” Asad said, carefully.
What if Iris came to regret her time with him? She’d made it pretty clear in the beginning that she’d regretted their time together six years ago. Though he knew that was his fault and no one else’s.
“It’s true. Catherine almost left me once,” Hakim agreed, old horror at the thought tingeing his voice. “Do you want to lose Iris again?”
“No.” That was one thing he had no doubts about.
“Then you have to convince her to stay.”
“I am doing my best.” Asad made no effort to hide his exasperation. “She is more than receptive to my lovemaking. She adores my daughter and my grandparents.”
“But you are not sure if she still loves you?” Hakim asked perceptively.
Asad frowned, though his cousin could not see it and then sighed. “Does it matter?”
“You tell me.”
“What do I do?”
“Tell her the truth, that you brought her to Kadar to woo her into staying.”
But even he hadn’t known that was what he was doing at the time. Just as he’d been unaware of naming his daughter after Iris. Self-aware he was not, he thought cynically. “She’s already figured out that I was instrumental in her arrival here.”
“Does she know that most of the land she’s surveying is owned by your family?”
“No.”
“Maybe you should tell her.”
“Badra’s only interest was in my possessions.” He never wanted to see the light of avarice in Iris’s eyes.
Not that he would. Intellectually, he knew that, but there it was.
“Iris isn’t like that. Catherine and I only saw her for two days, but we worked that out immediately. The geologist will make you a much better wife than your late princess ever did.”
“Badra was never mine, no matter that she spoke vows.”
“And you were never hers.”
The truth of that would have taken Asad’s legs out from under him if he had not been sitting at his desk. “I love her,” he said with wonder and no small amount of trepidation. His heart and soul belonged to the introverted scientist irrevocably. “I always did.”
“Did you really just figure that out?” Hakim asked with disbelief.
“It’s not something I thought about.” Not until he’d had no choice but to do so.
“Catherine would say that’s something you should be telling Iris, not your cousin.”
“That I didn’t want to label my feelings for her?”
“That you have those feelings for her. I love you like a brother, I really do, but for all your brains, you can be dense, Asad.”
“You’re right.” It wasn’t easy admitting, but he had been beyond blind when it came to his feelings for Iris. If he’d had an ounce more self-awareness, he would never have left her in the States the first time. And that was something Iris needed to know. She deserved the words. “Your wife, on the other hand, is a brilliant woman.”
“She is that. She picked me, didn’t she?”
“Iris calls me arrogant. I think it’s a family trait.”
“Catherine is certain of it and is convinced I’ve already passed it on to our son.”
“Not your daughter?”
“My dear wife is convinced that men are arrogant, but women are merely assertive.”
Both men shared a laugh at that.
If Asad’s was filled a bit with gallows humor, Hakim did not mention it. Blinded by his pride and stubbornness, Asad had ejected the woman he loved from his life—and paid for that choice every day since.
It was all well and good for Hakim to say Asad should tell Iris of his love, but what if she no longer loved him?
She hadn’t said the words since coming to Kadar, not once. No matter how amazing their lovemaking. She had opened up to him in the past weeks, but remained adamant he not call her beloved.
Iris never hesitated to spend time with Nawar, but she changed the topic of conversation every time his daughter, or he, brought up the possibility of him marrying again and giving his daughter a mother.
Iris was close to being finished with her survey. And then she would leave Kadar. She never spoke in a way that indicated she planned anything else.
Her joy in her job was apparent, and from what the man who looked and acted more like a brother than an assistant said, Iris was very good at it. What right did Asad have to ask her to give it up?
If he did not, what kind of mother would she make for Nawar and their future children, gone so many months out of the year? Asad had been looking into other options for her that would give Iris the opportunity to use her education, but would not take her so frequently from his side.
What if none of them appealed to her?
What did he have to offer? His daughter, his family, his tribe … if she did not love them as he did, it would not be enough.
Had