make her malleable enough to agree to however he wanted to handle things. So much for change, she thought glumly.
“We’ve already had our ‘talk,’ Nathan.”
“Yeah, we did,” he agreed. “But it wasn’t enough.”
She pulled away from him and walked even closer to the river’s edge, where spray reached up from the water’s surface to kiss her skin. She turned her face up to the sky and fixed her gaze on one star in particular. It was a focus point, to center her thoughts, to gather her frazzled nerves.
She didn’t want to talk about the past anymore. It only brought pain. Still watching that star, she asked, “What more is there to say, Nathan?”
She heard him move to stand behind her again. She felt the heat of his body reaching out for hers. Felt the frisson of something incredible that she always felt when close to Nathan.
Once again, his hands came down on her shoulders and a whip of electricity snaked through her in an instant. She closed her eyes and took a breath to steady herself—an idea that went to hell the moment he started speaking. “Can we leave the past where it is, Amanda? Live here in town without going back there?”
“I want to,” she said and it was the truth. The past was pain and she’d had enough of that to last a lifetime.
“Then we make a pact. We deal with the present. Starting fresh.”
“Just like that?” Was it even possible? she asked herself.
“Won’t be easy,” he admitted, “but it’s easier than hauling the past around with us wherever we go.”
It sounded good, but she wasn’t as sure as he was that it could be done. But, talking with him, being with him, without the hurtful memories, was worth taking the chance.
“A pact,” she agreed and held out one hand.
He looked at it, smiled, then took her hand in his, smoothing his fingers over her knuckles. His voice was soft, low and as mesmerizing as the rush of the river below.
“You’re still in my blood, Amanda.”
Her heart jumped into high gear and she swayed on her feet. But his hands only tightened on her shoulders. He bent his head until his mouth was beside her ear. His voice came again and his warm breath dusted her skin.
“I think about you. Dream about you. Want you.”
“Nathan …” Her blood felt as if it were bubbling in her veins.
He spun her around, pulled her close and took her right hand in his left. Confused, Amanda only stared at him, until he said, “Dance with me.”
He didn’t give her a chance to answer. To decide yes or no. Instead, he began to sway to the music and she let herself move with him. He held her tightly, her body pressed along the length of his and she felt…everything, just as he’d wanted her to.
Her body lit up inside as desire pulsed like a beacon deep within her. He must have sensed it. Must have felt her body’s surrender because he dipped his head to steal a hard, fast kiss that left her reeling.
“Tell me you don’t the feel the same damn thing,” he demanded.
Amanda knew that if she looked into his eyes again, the very foundation of what little self-control she’d managed to cling to would be shaken. But she couldn’t resist. Couldn’t deprive herself of the chance to see those dark brown eyes flashing with need again.
The moment she did, she felt herself falling into a whirlwind of emotion. Long-buried feelings resurfaced with a vengeance and were tangled up with something new. Something still fragile, but so much deeper than anything she’d known before.
Their dance ended abruptly. He shifted his grip on her, sliding his hands up to cup her face. His thumbs traced the edges of her cheekbones and his gaze moved over her features hungrily. She felt every nerve in her body leap to attention. Every square inch of her wanted him so desperately she trembled with the need.
It would be so easy to give in, she thought wildly as she lost herself in the dark chocolate of his eyes. To surrender to her body’s demands. To push away the past and think only of the now. But where would that put them? Where would they go from here?
“Nathan, this is crazy.…”
“Nothing wrong with crazy,” he murmured and leaned in to leave a light-as-a-feather kiss on her forehead.
She swallowed hard. “But if we do this—it will only make living in this town together harder.”
He snorted a laugh. “I can’t get much harder.”
“Oh, God.” Her breath caught in her lungs as he pulled her in close to him. Close enough to discover that he was right. Much harder and he’d turn to stone.
A burn started low and deep within her, spreading with a swiftness that made her feel as if she had a sudden fever. A fever only Nathan could assuage.
Shaking her head both at her own thoughts and at him, she pulled free and took a staggering step backward just for an extra measure of safety. Not that she was afraid of Nathan. No, she was more afraid that her good intentions would be blown out of the water by her own need.
“Damn it, Amanda,” he said roughly. “You want this, too. I can feel it.”
“Yes,” she admitted when she could talk around the knot lodged in her throat. “I do. But I’m not going to do it.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because it wouldn’t solve anything, Nathan.”
He threw both hands high and wide then let them fall to his sides again. “Why the hell does it have to solve anything? We’re not kids anymore. Can’t it just be what it is and leave it at that?”
“Not between us,” she said, a little steadier now that he wasn’t touching her. “It’s never simple between us, Nathan, and you know it.”
He shoved both hands into his jeans pockets and let his head fall back briefly as if looking for patience in the wide Texas sky above them. When he looked at her again, he said, “You can’t let go of the past, can you?”
Bristling a little, she countered, “Can you?”
Shaking his head, he pulled one hand free of his pocket and ran it over his face. “Not entirely, no.”
“Then how can us sleeping together help?”
“How can it hurt?” he argued.
“Nathan, sex doesn’t solve a problem, it only creates new problems.”
“Maybe that’s enough for now,” he said tightly.
“Not for me,” she answered.
“What the hell do you want, then?”
A thousand disjointed thoughts swept through her mind in one confusing instant. What did she want? Him, mostly. She’d tried to fool herself into believing that she just wanted to move on. To find a new man and build a life with him.
But there were no other men for Amanda. There was only Nathan, now and always. She wanted what they hadn’t had before. Trust. Love. A future. And she knew Nathan wasn’t interested in anything like that.
So that left her exactly where?
Alone, she thought. She’d be alone.
He closed the gap between them in one long stride and grabbed her up close again. Here was the danger, she thought. Feeling him pressed close to her, knowing that he wanted her as much as she wanted him. But want wasn’t enough, as they’d already discovered.
“Don’t make this harder,” she whispered.
“Why should I make it easy?” he asked.
She looked