so there wasn’t any problem with that, but it ached to see her little girl asleep in her crib and to know that she was about to leave.
‘Don’t wake her,’ Carmel said, because she could see that Gabi was about to pick her up.
‘I’m going to miss her.’
‘Gabi, even if you weren’t going to Zethlehan you would barely have seen her this weekend, what with the wedding and everything.’
‘I know.’
Her hours were proving difficult and Gabi knew she was asking a lot from her mother just to keep her job. Carmel had raised one child alone and did not want to do it again. Right now, there were bills that needed to paid and so Carmel had agreed to help with Lucia for a few months, but after that...
‘You could work with Rosa,’ Carmel said.
Gabi had considered it, yet, as much as she cared for Rosa, Gabi did not want another boss. Still, it was the more practical solution and right now Gabi was beyond exhausted and could feel her grip loosening on her dreams.
Carmel went down to check if the taxi had arrived and Gabi kissed Lucia’s little cheek and whispered that she was the sunshine of her life—‘Sei il sole della mia vita.’
She wanted better for her, Gabi knew—which was part of the reason she was on her way to a new adventure.
What an adventure!
Gabi had flown before, but only within Italy and only for work.
Bernadetta, of course, would fly business class while Gabi sat way back in the bowels of the plane.
It was very different today!
Champagne was offered before they had even taken off but Gabi declined and took water as she was trying to be good. While the weight had fallen off while she’d been pregnant, Gabi had been thin for about two days after Lucia had been born and then her milk had come in, closely followed by the return of her curves.
A meal was served, then her bed prepared, while Gabi went and put on the pyjamas they offered her.
‘Would you like to be woken for a meal before landing?’
It was a nine-hour flight to Zethlehan and Gabi was about to say that there was no chance of her not being woken, when again she was reminded that she was without Lucia.
‘That would be lovely,’ Gabi said.
The cabin lights were dimmed and Gabi lay there, sure, quite sure, that she would be too nervous to sleep.
Instead, she woke to a gentle shake of her shoulder and was informed that her meal would be served shortly; she had slept for seven hours. It wasn’t just her first decent sleep since Lucia had been born, it was her first decent sleep since the morning Alim had so cruelly ended things.
Far from nervous, it was so nice to feel rested.
She made her way to the very nice bathroom where there was actually a shower. It felt wonderful to shower high in the sky and after she had washed and brushed her teeth and styled her hair, she took her Pill. Not that she would be needing it, but Gabi now took it every day. Not for this moment, and not to be ready for Alim, more because the absolute abandon between them that night had scared her.
In the cold light of day, she had realised that in bed with Alim she did not know her own mind.
In the deep of the night he had owned her so completely.
The absolute lack of thought and control had had her vow never to be so foolish again. No more chances.
Then she put on the heavy dark trouser suit and swore that if she ever did get her own business there would be a fitting, international choice.
Gabi returned to her seat and light refreshments and as she looked out over the ocean, Gabi amended that thought.
When she had her own business.
Sleep really was an amazing healer, and the distance from home combined with the white noise of the plane allowed her to think more clearly.
Alim had been harsh that morning when they had spoken and he had said that her mother used Gabi as an excuse. Yet he wasn’t necessarily wrong.
Gabi didn’t dwell on her mother’s choices. She focussed instead on her own future, and her daughter’s, for it was Lucia’s future she wanted to improve upon too.
But first she had these days to get through.
Would she see him?
Gabi hoped so.
All the hurt, all the anger and the fact he was to marry should be enough to bury for good her feelings for him.
Yet they rose again and again, and more so since Lucia had been born, for every time she opened her eyes Gabi was reminded of the magic of him.
And the impossibility of them.
There were cross-winds, the pilot had warned them, and Gabi felt them as the plane came into land.
Her stomach lurched as she caught her first glimpse of the palace and it warned her of the might and power of the al-Lehan family.
It rose from a cliff edge, white and magnificent and looking out towards both ocean and city. And Zethlehan too was unexpected when seen from the air, for there was an eclectic mix of gleaming modern buildings that melded in with the old.
She had read up on the country’s history and the royal family’s lineage that went as far back as when the country had first been named.
It was progressive in many ways—a firstborn daughter could—and had—ruled this stunning land. The desert princess’s husband and children had taken the al-Lehan name. And while there were some mentions of children borne from the harem, the rulings were clear—they were not considered part of the al-Lehan dynasty.
Children like Lucia and James were simply sidelined. They were shadow families, hidden away and never formally recorded or mentioned. Lucia deserved better. So did Gabi.
And she must never lose sight of that, Gabi thought as the wheels hit the runway.
She had arrived in Zethlehan, where the time, she was informed, was five p.m.
Remembering Violetta’s instructions, Gabi put a scarf she had brought over her head and shoulders but it didn’t fall as nicely, or as effortlessly, as the other women’s, who made it look so easy.
She opened her tablet and the first thing she saw was a message from her mother with the most gorgeous picture of Lucia attached.
She was lying on her stomach and lifting her head up and smiling widely. Oh, it was surely Gabi’s favourite photo and she touched the screen and traced her daughter’s beautiful smile.
Gabi was wearing heels, on Bernadetta’s instructions, and felt a head above all the delicate beauties as she disembarked. A wall of heat hit her as soon as she stepped off the plane. The wind was hot on her cheeks and the air burned as she breathed it in, but soon she was in the cool of the airport and she made a quick call home.
‘Lucia is fine,’ Carmel told her. ‘Did you get the picture that I sent?’
‘I did.’ Gabi smiled.
‘The reception is terrible,’ Carmel said. ‘I can hardly hear you.’
‘I’ll call again tomorrow,’ Gabi told her mother. ‘Give Lucia a kiss for me.’
Customs was straightforward as she had a letter of introduction from the palace and, given she had travelled only with hand luggage, in no time she was walking through to the arrivals lounge.
‘Gabi!’
She recognised Violetta immediately and though they had only worked together briefly it was nice to see a familiar friendly face.
‘How was your journey?’ Violetta asked.
‘It