him what?”
Her mother paused. Looked her straight in the eye. “You haven’t told him that Janet Carpenter was the one who bullied you at school.”
Sweat drenched her, and she started to shake.
How could it still affect her so badly after so many years?
“I don’t want to talk about that.”
“You never did.” Her mother dragged open a drawer and removed a couple of forks. “That girl made your school life a misery, but you never told him.”
“How could I? She’s Jess’s mother. If I told him what happened, everything would be even more complicated. It would be awkward for him and awful for poor Jess.”
“I lost count of the number of new schoolbags and coats I had to buy you.”
That hadn’t been the worst part. No, the worst part had been the words that had carved chunks out of her confidence.
You’re not his type, Brenna. Flat chest and brown hair isn’t his thing. He’ll ski with you but he will never, ever, want to have sex with you.
Coats and bags had been replaced, but she hadn’t been able to erase those words from her brain. “Janet’s parents were splitting up. I think she was having a hard time at home.”
“That is no excuse for making another person’s life a misery.” Her mother passed her a fork. “I was relieved when she took the baby away from here. It was the right thing to do.”
“Janet took Jess to Chicago, miles from the O’Neils! How was that the right thing?”
“It was right for you! How would you have felt bumping into Janet and Jess at the store every day? And Tyler O’Neil wasn’t here anyway. He was traveling all over the world. Couldn’t sit still for five minutes.”
“He was on the ski team. Tyler is a world-class athlete.”
“Was.” Her mother turned another perfect omelet onto a plate and sat down next to Brenna. “Maybe he was a world-class athlete, but whatever talent he has isn’t going to do him much good now, is it?”
“And that’s hard for him.” She knew, even though he never talked about it to anyone. And it broke her heart. “Don’t you feel any sympathy?”
“Sympathy for what? That he’s no longer living the high life with a different girl in every country?”
Brenna winced as if her mother had stabbed her. “You were the one who taught me not to believe everything I read and hear.”
“Well, let’s hope his daughter didn’t read or hear it, either.”
Brenna stared down at the food congealing on her plate. No good would come from speaking her mind. And no good would come from continuing this discussion.
“Jess is back now, and she’s happy. You should see her ski. She has so much talent. Just like her father.”
Her mother took a bite of food. “How long until he tires of having a teenager under his feet?”
“They have a great relationship. You should see them together, they—”
“Tyler O’Neil is never going to settle down. He will never be what you want him to be, and all the hoping in the world isn’t going to change that. And moving in with him isn’t going to change it, either.”
“I don’t want him to be anything other than he is.” Brenna poked her eggs. Why had she come? “He’s a good friend. My best friend.”
“A man and a woman can’t be best friends.”
“I don’t believe that.”
“Then you really are a fool. One person always feels more than the other.”
Brenna swallowed because she knew in this case, her mother was right. And she was the person who felt more than Tyler. “It doesn’t matter.”
“No?” Her mother put her fork down with a clatter. “What happens when he meets someone? You think she’s going to be pleased he has you as a best friend? And he will meet someone.”
It was impossible to talk to her. Impossible to have a conversation that went to and fro. Instead it was like being pelted by words, and those words hammered into her flesh and her bones like hailstones. They hurt flesh already sensitive following Tyler’s confession that Jess had wanted him to have a love life.
“I’m friends with Sean and Jackson. Their relationships with Élise and Kayla haven’t affected our friendship.”
“That’s different. You’re not in love with Sean or Jackson. You’ll be cut out of Tyler’s life, and it will be as if your friendship had never happened.” There was a bitterness in her tone that even Brenna hadn’t heard before. And something else. A sadness.
Brenna felt a flash of guilt. Was her situation really so distressing for her mother?
“Tyler wouldn’t cut me out. We’ve known each other forever.”
“And if something was going to happen it would have happened by now. It’s time you faced the fact Tyler O’Neil doesn’t have those feelings for you.”
He’ll ski with you but he will never, ever, want to have sex with you.
“That’s enough, Mom.”
“You should walk away and build a new life somewhere else instead of humiliating yourself waiting around for a few crumbs from his table.”
“Can we talk about something else?”
“You can’t build a life on dreams, Brenna. You should date other men. See other people. Helen and Todd were in signing a license last week. Getting married first week in February. And Susan Carter was in last month. That wedding is going to be a big one. Visitors from out of town.” As Town Clerk, her mother had all the information on who was marrying whom.
There were times when she wished her mother had a different job. “I do date other men.”
“Who? When?”
Cornered, Brenna groped wildly in her brain. “I’m going out with Josh this week. Tuesday.” The words left her mouth before she could stop them. She saw her mother’s face brighten for the first time since she’d walked through the door and realized in a flood of panic that by trying to make things better, she’d made them worse. Her mother would probably tell Ellen Kelly in the store and before the snow had settled, everyone would know Brenna Daniels was dating Josh. Everyone, that was, except Josh himself. Somehow she had to retrieve the situation before Josh found out.
He was going to kill her.
“Mom—”
“Well—” Her mother breathed out slowly and her shoulders relaxed. “I’m pleased. Josh is well respected in this town. He’s the youngest chief of police ever appointed, and he has a calm, steady head on his shoulders. He’s not short of admirers.”
Oh, crap.
Deciding to unravel that mess later, Brenna changed the subject. “So Helen and Todd are finally getting married. That’s great.” She talked about nothing, anything to pass the time and keep her mother from talking about Tyler.
Somehow she made it through breakfast but by the time she left, her head was throbbing and the small amount of egg she’d eaten had settled like a stone in her stomach.
She arrived at the Outdoor Center feeling emotionally exhausted and gave a groan when she recognized the four-wheel drive cruiser that belonged to the chief of police.
I’m going on a date with Josh.
Why did he have to be the first person she bumped into?
She pulled into the space