Joanne Rock

Full Surrender


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made her feel alive. Healthy. Whole.

      “Yes. A couple of cats.” Her voice cracked, her throat dry. She licked her lips and tried again. “I meant the dogs I photograph would have a blast out here. I love taking pictures in natural settings like parks, or at the owners’ homes. But I’d get some great shots if I had this in my backyard.”

      Water really brought out the personality of some dogs. Labs and retrievers. Newfies, Porties … And maybe if she kept thinking about her job, she’d forget about what she really needed to discuss. The oh-so-awkward reason she’d made the three-hour drive from D.C. to Norfolk.

      “I’d like to see your work sometime.” He toed off his loafers and socks, then headed into the shallow surf. “But first, I’ve got to ask—”

      “Uh-oh.” She waded in after him, gathering her excess skirt material in one hand so that it didn’t blow in the breeze off the water.

      “What?”

      “I know what you’re going to ask, but I’m still working up the nerve to answer.” She flexed her toes into the squishy sand, which fell away beneath her feet as a wave rolled back out to the bay.

      “Are my questions that obvious? We haven’t seen each other in five years and you’re already reading my mind?”

      “It doesn’t take a mind reader to guess that you’d be curious about why I popped up out of the blue today.”

      He frowned. “That wasn’t what I was going to ask, but now that you mention it, learning that is actually a high priority for me.”

      Crap. Crap. Crap.

      Why hadn’t she let him just finish his thought? Because she was nervous and antsy and … oh, God. This was a stupid idea.

      Nevertheless, she’d been imagining this moment for a whole year and she’d hate herself if she chickened out now.

      “Are you familiar with the idea of—” she cleared her throat “—sexual healing? You know, recovering lost mojo by having sex with someone you trust?”

      Silence met her question. Can you say … awkward?

      Danny looked as if she’d hit him with a two-by-four. But there was no turning back now, so she took a deep breath and summed it up for him.

      “Well, my mojo hasn’t been the same since … you and I were together last. I’ve been waiting for you to return from your deployment so I could proposition you. What do you say to re-creating our affair?”

      DANNY WASN’T SURE if he stood there for ten seconds or ten minutes after Stephanie posed the question. He couldn’t have been more stunned if a rogue wave rose out of the bay, knocked him on his ass and dragged him out to sea. In fact, he probably would have recovered faster if that was the case.

      “Danny?” Her voice sounded far away because of all the thoughts that came rushing into his head. She stepped closer, her hand landing on his wrist.

      Her request echoed in his mind on an endless loop. He didn’t know whether to pump his fist in victory or cry that she needed to ask. Yeah, knowing why she wanted that kind of healing ripped him raw. In her public account of her abduction, she’d denied being … assaulted. She’d written a book about the experience afterward, and he’d read the whole thing cover to cover a few times. But he had no way of knowing the deeper damage of what she’d really been through—the things she hadn’t put into print.

      If she was brave enough to ask him for something like that, however, he was humbled to be the one she went to. He’d damn well do whatever she wanted. Even if it ripped apart the crappy patch job he’d done on his memories of that whole time.

      “Come here.” He would have gone to her, but he was still a little numb. He was also wary of spooking her by showing her how much he wanted this. “Please. Will you just come here?”

      Between her uncertain step forward and his arms reaching out, he caught her. Drew her against him. She stumbled a half step, but then she was tucked tight to his chest, the top of her head just below his chin where he could rest his cheek and breathe in the scent of her hair. Her arms went around him and her skirt wrapped around his legs in the sea breeze.

      He held her that way for ten steadying beats of his heart before his body reminded his brain what she’d just asked of him. All that numbness evaporated. Like a fireball shot into an oil spill, there was sudden ignition everywhere and a tremendous rush of heat.

      “Is this your way of letting me down gently?” Stephanie wiggled free of his arms, backing up a step. The flower that she’d stuck in her hair was starting to wilt, no doubt a little crushed from when he’d held her. “Because if this is just a nice attempt to say no—”

      “Yes.” He bit out the word more sharply than he’d intended. “I say hell yes. I have to leave in three weeks for another six-month deployment, so I won’t be in town for long. But if you’re cool with that and don’t mind that this is short-lived … I want to be with you.”

      He straightened the red flower, tucking the stem more securely behind her ear and trying like hell to smother the inferno threatening to consume him from the inside out.

      Her eyes went wide. A smile started, but she lifted her hands to her face, hiding it.

      “Seriously?” She sounded happy. A little breathless. “I hope you’re not saying that just because you feel bad for the awkward girl who sucks at seduction. It’s just that I feel safe with you and—”

      Danny kissed her. No hesitation this time. His blood still simmered for wanting her, so it wasn’t exactly a chore to seal her lips with his and cut off that line of thinking in no uncertain terms.

      She sank into him, her body pliant and warm. She tasted like cinnamon, her lip gloss as edible as the woman. Her soft, yielding mouth reminded him of other kisses, other times she’d given herself to him. And as much as he loved those past days together, he wanted this kiss to be all about the present for both of them. A moment belonging so fully to the here and now that they’d never confuse it with the past.

      Edging back, he whispered, “Not a chance.” He stroked up her spine to thread his fingers through her hair, the water swirling higher around their legs as the tide came in. “This is about me and you and new beginnings.”

      “Yes.” She nodded fast, obviously liking that idea. “A do-over.”

      “Exactly.” They’d be safer that way, he thought. The more they focused on the present, the easier this would be for both of them. “Are you ready to leave the past behind and enjoy the moment?”

      Using her hands, she steadied herself on his shoulders as a wave rolled past them, splashing up to his knees.

      “Very ready.” Her affirmation was all the encouragement he needed.

      Lifting her against him, he tipped his forehead to hers.

      “Here’s to a clean slate,” he said softly.

      He twirled her in the surf with him, her damp skirt twining around his legs. Too late he saw a high wave speeding toward them. He turned to shelter her and take the brunt of the water on his back, but the force was too great, pulling them down, submerging them both in the Chesapeake Bay.

       3

      AS THE WATER CLOSED over his head, Danny kept Stephanie pressed tight to him. He hadn’t meant to haul her into the surf without warning. But Stephanie had always had a sense of adventure and spontaneity, just like him.

      Or so he thought until she started to struggle in his arms.

      Blasting straight to the surface, he pulled her high out of the water, arms locked around her waist and shoulders.

      “Are you okay? I didn’t see that wave coming until it was too late.” He scanned her face, trying to get a read on what was wrong. “Is it too cold?”

      Water