love. My mother and your uncle.”
“There, you’ve said it.” His eyes flashed triumph. “Uncle. That’s it. My uncle. My blood relation. Not yours.”
“Whether I believe it or not is another thing,” she answered, knowing the subject always led to a fierce row.
Just to prove it, he snapped back, “I’m not your cousin, Nicole.” His voice that could sound so attractive suddenly grated. “I have no cousinly feelings whatsoever toward you.”
“Maybe not, but where did the affection we had for each other go? Remember how we used to roam? We’d ride miles into the desert. Come back overheated by the sun to dive into a cool lagoon. You used to let me ride your palomino, Solera, now and again. Even Granddad liked to see you, despite the troubles. He always said you had a great future.”
“Not everything disappeared in a puff of smoke,” Drake mused. “I’m building very successfully on the inheritance Dad left me. The McClelland Pastoral Company is doing well. Making money isn’t hard. Sustaining relationships is a lot harder.”
“So how do you regard me now?” It wasn’t said provocatively, but very quietly.
“The truth?”
“I don’t want you to lie.”
“As your mother’s daughter.” The words came out in an involuntary rush.
She gave him a sad look. “In your eyes, then, a huge flaw. I am my mother’s daughter, Drake, but I’m proud of it. She wasn’t the only one who committed the unforgivable. Your uncle was her lover.”
His remarkable eyes flared. “A very dangerous thing to be. Fiancée, then mistress. It brought their lives to an untimely end.”
“All because they wanted each other. No one really believes it was an accident.”
“Well, if someone else’s responsible, they’re still out there.”
“Supposedly dying.” Her tone was flat.
“I don’t think your father had anything to do with it,” he confounded her by saying. “For all his faults he was far too much in love with your mother to kill her. My uncle maybe. Not her.”
The great shift in his thinking confused her. “What are you trying to do? Rewrite history? Why are you saying this, and why now?”
He shrugged, but kept his eyes on the landscape below. “When were we ever able to discuss the subject without anger? You’ve had five years away to think. So have I.”
“But you believed Heath was responsible somehow?” she protested. “Your whole family did. No one more than your aunt Callista. She was the loudest in her condemnation.”
“That isn’t surprising. She adored her younger brother.”
“So did your father, but he was never cruel. He and your mother simply withdrew into a shell. I heard your mother remarried?”
“Hardy Ingram, the M.P. We’ve known him for years and years. He’s a good man. He’ll look after my mother well, but he’s no substitute for Dad. He was a one-off. He died too young. These past couple of years without him have been sad. My mother couldn’t stay on Kooltar.”
“I can understand that.” She didn’t say that having her difficult sister-in-law around all the time would make things hard, but instead asked, “Is your aunt still living with you?”
“Kooltar is her home.” Clipped, ready to defend.
“She should have married. Gone away.” Nicole sat in sober judgment.
“None of your business, Nicole. We couldn’t all run.”
That stung. “Now, that was cruel.”
His hands on the controls clenched, knuckles whitening. “Yes, it was. Bloody cruel. I apologize. You suffered more than any of us.”
“I found them. How many hundreds of times have I been back over that horrible day? It’s like a video you don’t know how to stop.”
“I can understand that. The shock and the grief killed your grandfather. My own father was never the same after. The way the investigation ended! It as good as left everything up in the air.”
She looked down at her locked hands. Didn’t she live her own life on the brink, just waiting for someone to shove her off? “I’m sorry, too, Drake. But it was never my fault.”
“Of course it wasn’t!” He gave a grimace of dismay. “At the end of the day we were all betrayed. I’ve thought hard about this. As I said, I believe your father had nothing to do with what happened.”
“Then you’re the only one.” She sighed. “If you’re right, that leaves the glaring question of who did. What about Heath’s alibi? What if the stockman was lying? He left the station not long after and conveniently got killed when his ute ran off an Outback track. That’s like having a two-car crash in the middle of the Simpson Desert.”
“It was reported, as well, he’d been drinking heavily for days.”
“Probably had one hell of a guilty conscience. Does your aunt still hate me?”
Drake’s features tightened. “She doesn’t hate you, Nicole.”
“Don’t be daft. Of course she does! When it comes to intuition, men aren’t half as smart as women.”
“I’m not about to disagree,” he answered.
“Good. Around you, Callista was always very careful. Brothers and nephews are sacred. To hell with the rest of us. She never shared your liking for me, even as a child.”
He glanced at Nicole through narrowed eyes. “Can you imagine how difficult it was for her with you the living image of your mother?”
“There are differences,” she declared. “I’m me. I’ll never be unfaithful to my husband. I’ll never abandon my child. Oh, God, Nicole, shut up,” she bid herself, shocked at coming so close to condemning her mother.
“Let it out.”
“I’ve had years of letting it out.”
“Maybe the struggle has been too much. Maybe you have your own secrets you don’t want to be known. At least you have a source of release through your paintings.”
“Yes, maybe. Certainly mine aren’t happy paintings, Drake, although critics seem to find them powerful.”
“I hope I can see them.”
“Sure, I’ll bring some over to the house,” she suggested with heavy irony. “I just know I’d be welcome. Dear Callista hated my mother long before she hated me. Even as a kid I saw glimpses of it.”
“The devil you did! Cally was all set to be your mother’s maid of honor.”
“A piece of diplomacy.”
“You know nothing about it. You weren’t around.”
“Well, you were only a toddler and I could have been already in the womb.” Her voice was perfectly calm, accepting. “I was a premature baby. You’d almost believe it, except I was robust from day one. My mother and I talked a lot, you know. We were very close.”
The gaze he turned briefly to her was piercing. “Are you trying to tell me your mother confessed to you that Heath Cavanagh wasn’t your father?”
She stared back, hot color coming into her cheeks. “No need to look so intimidating. You don’t scare me. She never said anything of the sort.”
“I never believed for a minute she did,” he retorted with complete conviction. “But you must have felt tormented. Did you ever ask?”
“Lord, no!” Nicole gave a violent shake of her head. “I wanted to believe it.”
“What?”