What a glorious day. Great weather, great game, great company. And most of all, she very well may have realized one of her life’s biggest dreams. Now she wondered why she had indulged in such a melancholy morning.
“Penny for your thoughts,” Lynne said just outside the restaurant.
“Oh, just enjoying this perfect day.” Lynne opened the door and Ali followed her inside. “Can’t wait for you to meet Michelle. I know you’ll like her.” And Ali couldn’t wait to meet Michelle’s husband. She’d heard so much about Kevin.
The room was elbow to elbow, televisions blasting replays of the game over the din of the crowd. In the back corner Ali spotted Michelle waving her arm and they inched their way through the press of bodies to the rectangular-shaped table along the wall. At one end of the table was a distinguished-looking man she assumed was Kevin. There was gray at his temples with smile lines at the corners of his eyes. His face was tanned, warm and very open. She could see why Michelle—
The two young doctors across from Michelle turned in unison and the air rushed out of Ali’s lungs.
Him! Oh, no. Not today.
Never one to be shy, Lynne had already slipped into the seat next to Michelle and was introducing herself, which meant there was only one seat left at the end of the table. Next to…him.
Michelle introduced her husband and the two young men, Craig and Brad. Ali smiled and choked out an appropriate response as she met each man’s eyes. But when she came to Brad she saw a hint of anxiety on his face, leaving her no doubt that he recalled exactly where they had first met. Thankfully her sister cut the awkward moment short.
“Ali tells me you two have twin preschoolers. That must keep you busy.”
Michelle looked at Kevin lovingly and then back to Lynne. “Yes, they do. But we’re lucky to have such wonderful sitters. Gives us a break now and then. Their grandmothers are probably spoiling them rotten this very moment.”
“Both of your mothers are at home with them?”
“Well, not exactly. My mother died before Abe and Abbie were born, and Kevin’s mom lives in Europe. We’ve sort of adopted a pair of elderly sisters as grandmothers.” Michelle laughed and took Kevin’s hand. “We met them on a cruise the same day we met each other, and they’ve been in our lives ever since.”
Kevin chuckled. “Millie and Hazel are quite the characters. They volunteer at the hospital. You’re bound to run into them someday.” He shook his head and chuckled again. “And believe me, you’ll know them when you do.”
Kevin and Michelle took turns telling about the relentless matchmaking efforts of the older sisters on their cruise, but Ali found it difficult to concentrate. She munched on pizza crust and stared straight ahead, feeling Brad’s eyes fixed on her. Mercifully the conversation drifted to work and he became engaged in a long discussion with Kevin. Finally she felt the tension ease.
With his face turned toward the other end of the table, Ali studied Brad’s pleasing profile. She loved how strands of unruly shiny hair fell across his forehead, giving him a relaxed, uninhibited look. And of course there were his eyes, every bit as powerful as she remembered. They were watching Kevin’s face now. Intense, thinking, processing, never drifting. She liked a person who kept eye contact while conversing. So many didn’t. She liked—
She liked everything she saw. And the nearness of him was driving her crazy. How absurd this whole thing was—her sitting here, acting calm, cool and collected, while at this very moment she may be carrying this man’s child.
Yet as absurd as it seemed, her imagination ran full steam ahead. She wondered if they might go out sometime…if he danced. If maybe—
If maybe she was crazy. She could hear it now. I’d like you to meet my date, Ali. She works at the sperm bank where I make donations.
The waiter came with the check and Kevin picked it up. Everyone had thanked him and they were finishing their drinks when Craig, who had been fairly quiet, looked at his watch. “Gee, it’s later than I thought.”
“Got a hot date waiting?” Brad teased.
“As a matter of fact, yes. But that’s not what I was thinking. I was thinking it’s going to be dark before we get home.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll protect you from the boogeyman.”
“Gee, thanks. But it’s your old lady I was thinking of.”
Ali felt everything inside her go rigid and cold. And Craig’s explanation to Kevin and Michelle did nothing to ease her disappointment.
“Sally will be sitting in the window watching for him when you drop him off. Just wait and see.”
“You’re just jealous you don’t have anyone waiting for you at home.” Everyone laughed as they stood and gathered up their belongings. Everyone except Ali and Lynne, who was looking sympathetically at her sister.
Ali stood, feeling numb, and pushed in her chair. She hated men calling their wives “old lady.” It showed no respect. At the very least Brad could have corrected Craig by using a more endearing term. She sighed. Who was she kidding? It wasn’t what he’d called his wife that bothered her most. It was the fact that he had one.
She lagged behind the others as they made their way to the exit, not wanting anyone to see her face. Tears burned at the back of her eyes. Why had she assumed he was single? The clinic certainly didn’t require it. She swallowed hard and told herself it shouldn’t matter that he was married. She had never planned to have a relationship with the donor anyway. He was strictly a face for the father.
Yet as everyone said their goodbyes and walked their separate ways she realized how much she had hoped for more.
“Wouldn’t you know?” Lynne said, stepping up the pace back to her car.
“What?”
“Brad. I was getting all excited for you, thinking maybe here was a good one. Then the ‘old lady’ remark. I’m feeling frustrated for you, sweetie.” She put her arm around Ali’s shoulder as they walked.
Ali shrugged, trying her best to seem unfazed. “Easy come, easy go.”
They got into the car and Ali found a classical radio station and reclined her seat-back. After twenty minutes of talking about little Keri, Lynne fell silent and Ali was relieved. She was tired of sounding lighthearted. She didn’t have to pretend with Lynne; she could have told her the truth about the source of her emotional pendulum today. But she felt too vulnerable to hear any reproach in her sister’s voice. Besides, she had her pride. If she gave voice to her sadness right now, it would be tantamount to admitting she’d made a mistake.
She hadn’t, she lectured herself. She would be a good mother and surround her baby with love and affection. That was what this morning was about. That was all it was about. If she had made any mistake, it was in letting her imagination run rampant with thoughts of Brad.
If only he’d remained a stranger. But sharing a meal with him, knowing each other on a first-name basis, having mutual friends…
No! She’d just have to put him out of her mind.
But after Lynne dropped her off and Ali was alone in her apartment, she stood in front of the floor-to-ceiling window facing the Detroit River and wondered if after today Brad would continue coming to the clinic. She wondered if his wife knew he was a donor. She wondered if he had been as uncomfortable tonight as she had. But most of all, she wondered what he was thinking now.
With Saturday night traffic slowing to a crawl just outside Greektown, Brad and Craig thanked the Singletons and said they would walk the rest of the way.
Brad lived closest, in a bare-bones, one-room walkup just off Monroe, a couple of blocks straight ahead and less than a mile from the hospital, which was convenient since he couldn’t always count on his old clunker of a car to start. Most days he preferred walking home, anyway, a chance to clear