was pregnant with me and they had to get married. I never saw one happy moment in their marriage. She never stood up to him, never wanted more than she had. I was about twelve when I asked her why she stayed. She was so matter-of-fact about it. She said Dad earned a good living, and she had no education and two children to raise. How could she make it on her own? I came to believe that my father didn’t want to be married or responsible for a family, and that’s what kept him short-tempered. My mother was always sad because she felt like a hostage.”
“So…why police work? To intervene in domestic disputes?”
This time Jake’s answer came more slowly. “I learned very young that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Whenever Dad was volatile, my tone of voice, the right words and a sympathetic ear could defuse his anger. When I joined the police force, I think I did it simply because I wanted to keep peace. Everything I’d learned with my father led me into hostage-negotiation work, and eventually I supervised and was a primary negotiator on the team.”
Supervisor of the negotiations team—the epitome of protection and responsibility. “Why did you leave?” she asked quietly.
He kept sweeping. “It doesn’t matter.”
She knew that wasn’t true. But it was obvious Jake was drawing a boundary between them, a boundary that now felt too restrictive.
“Jake…” she began.
Propping the broom against the wall, he approached her, his eyes dark and piercing. “Leave it alone, Tori.”
But she couldn’t. “Why?”
“Because my life cracked into a thousand pieces and I’m trying to glue it back together. It’s a solitary road.”
That was another piece of the puzzle she needed to understand him. “You’ve always chosen the solitary road, haven’t you.”
“Yes.”
Good sense urged her to look away. She knew she shouldn’t let desire rise inside her. Most of all, she shouldn’t let Jake see it. But gazing into his eyes now, she knew she wanted to touch him. She knew she needed to feel his lips on hers. Maybe she needed to prove that everything she’d remembered about their kiss twelve years ago had been a teenage girl’s dream.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he warned hoarsely.
But she was powerless to turn away. She wanted to taste passion again, even if it was only for a moment.
With a deep groan, Jake took her by the shoulders and bent his head to hers.
Tori had anticipated the kiss, had been longing for it. But he didn’t set his lips on hers. Not right away. His tongue outlined them first. She shivered, even more eager for the feel of his mouth. Even in that kiss at eighteen, she’d known Jake was experienced. That experience still showed as he teased her. Then, as if he couldn’t stand the torture, either, he finally sealed his lips to hers.
When his hips pressed against hers, her breath caught. He was obviously attracted to her as much as she was attracted to him. His hands left her shoulders as his arms enveloped her, and along with desire, she felt the safety of a strong man’s embrace.
She’d never, ever experienced anything like this—not the tingling fire in her limbs, not the excitement twirling in her stomach, not the intoxicating knowledge that he wanted her.
Her marriage to Dave had been staid and comfortable—before the accident. What would Jake say if he knew she couldn’t have children?
That thought fled with all the others as his tongue coaxed her lips apart and she found herself lost in a land that was as primordial as the high desert, as dizzying as the tallest mountain, as vast as the universe. She melted into him as he securely held her, tempted her, intoxicated her.
Then as suddenly as black clouds gathered over the mountains, Jake pulled away, leaving her standing alone. His eyes were black with turbulence, his face grim with regret. “That was a mistake. It won’t happen again.” He looked almost fierce in his certainty of that.
Tori strove to put her scrambled thoughts in order, still trembling from the power of the passion that had risen between them. “Because you don’t know where you’re going?” she asked shakily.
“Because we both have lives that are more complicated than we know what to do with. You’re going to be a mother, and that child is going to come first, isn’t he?”
She nodded, knowing her life would revolve around her child, knowing there was no room for the doubt and uncertainty a relationship with a man would bring.
“I don’t think you’re the type of woman who would have the inclination to hop into a man’s bed while a baby’s crying in the room next door.”
He knew her, maybe even better than she knew herself. She was usually cautious, analyzing everything three different ways. But the feelings Jake aroused had made her forget caution, and she couldn’t do that—especially not with a baby to think of.
She didn’t know what to say any more than she knew what to do. There was no reason she should feel like a tongue-tied teenager around Jake, but she felt as naive and vulnerable as she had after his kiss the night of the prom. “You’ll be back tomorrow?” she asked, looking around the room, wanting to make sure he’d finish the job he’d started.
“I’ll be back tomorrow. I’m hoping to finish this by Friday.” Then he turned and left.
When she heard the door shut, she took one very deep breath, closed her eyes and thought about getting the room ready for her baby.
On Thursday Jake was working in the bathroom when Tori returned home. It was a few minutes before five and she had hoped to catch him still here. They needed to clear the air. Yesterday he hadn’t arrived until after she’d left, and he’d been gone before she’d gotten back home. It was fine if that was the way he wanted to play it. But Nina had asked her to go shopping with her on Sunday, and if they renewed their friendship, there was no way Jake was going to be able to avoid her completely.
When she peeked into the bathroom, he was washing down a section of tile. He glanced over his shoulder and her heart sped up when his gaze locked with hers. The kiss and everything she’d felt while he was kissing her hummed through her with vibrations that could still shake her.
He broke eye contact first and continued wiping the tiles. “I’m almost finished here. I’ll be out of your hair in a few minutes.” His wide-legged rigid stance as he stood in her bathtub told her he was remembering the kiss, too.
“I made stew in the crockpot this morning and it’s ready. Would you like some?”
“Tori, I don’t think it’s a good idea—”
“We need to clear the air. I thought we could talk. It’s a bowl of stew, Jake, not a full-course meal.” Her attempt to lighten the atmosphere didn’t work.
“I need to wash up.”
She pointed to the sink. “The soap’s in the cupboard underneath. If you really don’t want to stay, that’s fine. But Nina and I are going to be friends again, it seems, and you and I might run into each other. It would be better if there isn’t all this…awkwardness between us.”
At her attempt to characterize whatever was between them, the corners of his lips twitched up. “Awkwardness is a new way of putting it.” At last he nodded. “All right. I’ll have a bowl of stew with you. I have a clean shirt in the truck.”
A short time later, Jake came to the table in a clean black T-shirt that stretched appealingly over his broad shoulders and hugged the muscles of his upper arms. At that moment Tori almost panicked. Maybe she’d been wrong about this tête-à-tête. Could she learn to be just a casual friend to Jake when her heart always pounded furiously in his presence?
He motioned to the table. “Looks like more than a bowl of stew.”
She’d bought