back. I don’t want to get involved with anyone.”
“I’m not sure that’s true,” her friend said. “You want to get involved but you’re afraid if you do, the man will walk away and you’ll have to deal with abandonment again. You’ve been abandoned a lot.”
Yes, she had—by her parents when they died, by her aunt when she didn’t want her, by Thad, who hadn’t really cared about her at all. Thinking of him made Lisa remember the note. Thinking about the note made anxiety turn in her stomach. She could confide in Jillian, she supposed, but something made her keep the letter to herself. As long as she didn’t tell anyone about it, it didn’t seem real.
Taking a deep breath, willfully lightening her mood, she asked Jillian, “Are you giving me a free counseling session?”
“If you need one.”
“I don’t. Alan is Brian’s colleague and just somebody I have to work with on this project. We’ll both be professional and when we’re at his ranch in Texas, Brian will be a great chaperone. I have nothing to worry about.”
“Repeat it a thousand more times, and I might believe it.”
If she repeated it a thousand more times, she might believe it herself, Lisa thought. She pointed to a light blue and white striped shirt with embroidery on the pockets. Going to the display rack, she found her size and held it up. “What do you think?”
“I think you’re trying to concentrate on details so you don’t have to think about the trip itself.”
Sometimes Lisa wished Jillian wasn’t quite so perceptive. But if she needed to think about the details to alleviate some of her anxiety, that was exactly what she was going to do.
“My career is everything to me now,” Lisa told Carrie during their TV interview on Saturday morning.
Carrie had spent the last twenty minutes going over Lisa’s degree, future goals and the opportunities in Portland for young professionals. In her charming way, she had kept the interview questions nonpersonal but interesting, so Lisa could give information to young people making decisions about college.
Now, however, her voice warmed into a teasing quality. “Everything?” she asked with a smile. “A beautiful young woman like yourself makes time for dating, I imagine. Are there opportunities for young professionals to meet in Portland?”
Lisa felt heat come into her cheeks. “There are clubs and organizations.” She realized Carrie had to give the viewers something a little more personal than her career to pique their interest. But she had to admit dating wasn’t on her agenda, even though Carrie thought it should be. “I really don’t date. There just doesn’t seem to be time in my schedule. Some evenings I get home late, weekends I catch up on chores and spend time with family and friends.”
“I imagine the station might get a few e-mails from young men who are interested in you. What would you say to them?”
“I’d say my focus is on building my future and the future of the family I’d like to have someday. I don’t have time for romantic entanglements right now. I’m operating on the belief that I’m self-sufficient. I have my own apartment, pay my own bills, pay my own way. The truth is, I don’t really want a man complicating my life.”
“In other words, you want to be financially stable before you enter into a partnership with anyone.”
“Exactly,” Lisa agreed. “I don’t want any of my decisions to be impulsive ones, but well thought out. That way, they won’t land me in trouble.” Again, she thought, determined not to make the same mistake she’d made before. When she was a high school senior she’d needed someone to love, and she’d needed someone to love her. Only Thad hadn’t loved her, he’d used her.
She wouldn’t fall into that trap again.
“It’s been a pleasure interviewing you, Lisa,” Carrie said, meaning it. “You’ve given young women goals to aspire to. Thank you for agreeing to be on About Portland.”
Then the camera focused on Carrie, and Lisa could finally relax. Carrie had danced on the edge of the personal, but taken care not to ask questions that would reveal anything Lisa preferred to keep to herself.
After Carrie signed off, she stood and removed her microphone. Lisa did the same and set it on the chair where she’d sat. The bright lights that had blinded her suddenly blinked off.
A male voice came from the side of the room—a deep male voice Lisa was beginning to know all too well.
“Great job, Miss Sanders.” Although he’d called her by her first name a few times, he obviously felt the need for more formality today. As he approached the stage, his rugged good looks practically bowled her over, and she felt that pull of attraction again.
“Alan! I’m glad you dropped by,” Carrie said. “What did you think of the interview?”
His gaze stayed on Lisa as he answered, “I picked up some pointers for Christina. After all, if I’m going to spend more time in Portland, she might want to consider getting a job in this area after college.”
“So you’re really going to establish roots here?” Carrie asked.
Finally he broke eye contact. “It seems that way. I suppose it depends on the market, but the development deals Brian and I are making will last for many years. Have you two ladies had breakfast? I’d be glad to treat.”
“That would be wonderful,” Carrie responded with a smile. “Lisa and I are going to run errands, but we can take a little time for breakfast, right?”
As Carrie checked with her, Lisa knew she couldn’t nix the idea. This man was Brian’s colleague. And Carrie was only doing her part to help Brian. “Right,” she answered brightly.
No sense trying to wiggle out of breakfast. She could keep herself removed. She could pretend that Alan was just a business client who had to be entertained for half an hour.
“I have to go to the dressing room and pick up a few things I left there,” Carrie stated. “Anything I can gather up for you?”
Lisa’s purse was lying to the side of the stage under a coat she’d tossed over a chair. “No, I’m fine.”
“I’ll be right back.” Carrie flashed another one of those smiles that could bring any man to his knees. The thing was, she didn’t seem to care how beautiful she was, or that lots of men looked at her with longing. She only cared about how Brian looked at her. Lisa loved that about her.
To Lisa’s surprise, Alan’s gaze was back on her rather than on Carrie walking away. “So real estate really is where you want to build your future?”
Had he thought she’d been kidding, merely using this job with Brian as a stepping stone? In a way she was. “I want to get experience with Brian, but I have another goal, too, and because of that I’ll probably leave Summers Development eventually. I’d like to hook up with a contractor to develop communities for families. There are several in California that are great models.”
“You mean planned communities?”
“Yes. A real neighborhood, where people know each other, where there’s a park with a playground for kids to play, where the school is close enough to walk to. I don’t want to create an exclusive neighborhood with gates and security men, but a place where everyone watches out for everyone else.”
“That has a lot more to do with people than the land they’re building houses on,” he said with understanding.
“Maybe. But I think with the right public relations, with the right focus, we’ll draw in buyers who want that kind of neighborhood. I don’t care if I get rich doing it. I just want to make a difference.” As soon as those words were out of her mouth, she knew Alan could take them as an insult. “Not that there’s anything wrong with being rich,” she amended quickly.
Instead of being