rapidly fraying nerve. “May I ask you questions about the past?”
“Why didn’t you question more before?” He kept his eyes on the road this time.
In some ways maybe that made this conversation easier.
“Because...I was scared you wouldn’t answer.”
“What’s changed?”
“We’re not in the hospital. There are no doctors who make me do all the work thinking, insisting I should only remember what I’m ready to know. They kept asking me not to push to remember, but that’s causing me even more stress, wondering.” She needed to know. How could she be a real wife to Porter and a mother to Thomas if she didn’t even know who she was or how they’d become a family?
“You trust me to answer truthfully?” He glanced back at her, his eyes darkening.
“What do you have to gain by lying?”
Now wasn’t that a loaded question? One that called for total trust in a man she barely knew. But she had no other choice, not if she wanted to reconnect as a family. “How did we meet?”
“My firm was handling building an addition to a museum where you worked. You saw me flex my muscles and here we are.”
He sure did have muscles, and if they’d enticed her half as much then as they did now she could see how he would have caught her attention. His humor made him even more appealing. “You’re funny, after all, Porter.”
“You think I don’t have a sense of humor? You’ve wounded my ego.”
“There hasn’t been a lot of room for levity this week.” She’d been so damn scared in the hospital. Walking the halls at night when she couldn’t sleep. Obsessively checking on the baby and praying she would remember something, anything from the past five years.
Most of all, wondering about the mysterious, handsome man who’d spent hours with her each day.
“True enough. Hopefully we can fix that. We have the whole holiday season to relax, settle our child and get to know each other again.” Through the rearview mirror, he held her eyes with a determined intensity. “Because, make no mistake, I intend to remind you of all the reasons we fell in love in the first place.”
His words made something go hot inside her, a mixture of desire and confusion and, yes, nerves. She swallowed hard. It didn’t help. But even if she didn’t remember it, this was her life. There was no choice but to push on. To regain her memories and her life.
And figure out just what this man—her husband—meant to her. Not just in the past. But now.
* * *
Porter Rutger had been through hell.
But for the first time in a long time he saw a way to climb back out.
His hands clenched the steering wheel as he drove his wife and son home from the hospital. The past month—worrying about how Thomas would recover from his first surgery for his clubfoot, wondering about possible hidden effects of the accident on the baby...
And all the while his wife had been in a coma.
Porter’s jaw flexed as he studied the familiar beach road leading to the vacation home they’d chosen after their third in vitro failed. Before they’d adopted Thomas, their marriage had showed signs of fraying from years of struggling with the stresses of infertility.
He and Alaina had been in hell for a long time, even before the accident. He’d thought they’d hit rock bottom when they’d contacted a divorce attorney. They’d been so close to signing the divorce papers when the call came about a baby to adopt. A special-needs baby, difficult to place, an infant who required surgeries and years of physical therapy. While foster care would have provided the basics, the search for a home would have to start all over again if they backed out, leaving the baby adrift in the system.
They hadn’t made the decision to adopt on a whim. They’d started the adoption process two years ago when the reality of infertility had become clear. Then they’d faced more heartache waiting. Their already strained marriage hadn’t fared well under the added stress.
To this day, he couldn’t remember which of them had asked for a divorce. The words had been thrown out during an argument and then taken root, growing fast, lawyers involved. It had damn near torn him apart, but their constant arguments had made it impossible to envision a future together bringing up the family they both wanted so much. Even marriage counseling hadn’t helped.
They’d reached the end—and then the call had come about Thomas.
He and Alaina had put their differences aside to adopt the baby and stay together temporarily. Her soft, open heart had welcomed the baby from the second the call had come. Thomas needed them. That had cinched the deal for Alaina.
Then the accident happened and the possibility of losing her completely had made him want to shred the documents. Maybe he could have that family he wanted after all.
And he’d had no idea how quickly that little bundle in the back would steal his heart. He would do anything for his son. Anything.
While he would also do anything to have Alaina healthy, he couldn’t ignore the fact that he had a second chance to win her over—for himself and for their son. This could be a fresh start, a way to work through all the pain they’d caused each other in the past.
Yes, he’d made mistakes in their marriage, but this was a new opportunity to build the family he’d always wanted. Growing up with a single-mom lawyer who worked all the time and husband-hunted during her hours off, he’d craved stability, love.
If he could only gain Alaina’s forgiveness, or convince her that he was in it for the long haul this time, that he’d changed. Hell, if he could just make Alaina realize he wasn’t the man he’d been a few weeks ago, then he could have the family he’d always dreamed of. The one they’d both wanted.
He’d never been one to procrastinate or waste time. He was a man of action.
And the stakes had never been more important than now.
Porter glanced in the rearview mirror at his blonde wife, the woman he’d fallen head over heels in love with four and a half years ago. Her intelligence, confidence and artistic flair had mesmerized him. He’d seen her discussing gallery art with a visiting class of elementary school students and he’d known. She was the one. She was his every perfect fantasy—soft, openhearted. He could envision her cradling their babies. Making sand castles with toddlers. Painting with children.
And it hadn’t been just the maternal images that drew him. She had a passionate nature that set him on fire. Even now, the memories turned him inside out.
But the more they’d argued, the more he’d realized how shaky their foundation had been.
“What did you want to know?”
“We didn’t talk much at all in the hospital.” Her blue eyes held his for an electric instant before she looked away.
“The doctor’s orders. And things were hectic, with Thomas’s physical therapists and your tests.” He’d been pulled in two different directions even though he’d taken time off from work, passing over control of his construction firm to his second in command until he had his family in order. Seeing her so helpless in the hospital had sucker punched him. Their love for each other might have died, but they still shared a history, an attraction, and now a child. His need for the picture-perfect family had destroyed their marriage and their love for each other.
But he owed it to her to take care of her while she healed and while they figured out how to parent Thomas.
“I’m not blaming anyone,” she said quickly. “I’m just trying to fill in the blanks so I can function. I felt so...limited in the hospital.”
He wouldn’t sabotage her recovery. The doctors had said she shouldn’t push to remember, and he planned to honor that directive.