one of those days.”
“I want you to have fun today. Dance and laugh and drink too much. Find yourself a handsome man and flirt a little bit. Maybe even kiss him.”
“I want to do that. But I just feel like I’m betraying him. Like it’s too soon.”
Lisa gave her hand a squeeze. “You can’t go on like this,” she said. “He would have wanted you to be happy.”
“I know. And I’ve been thinking about what’s been holding me back. It felt like there was something unfinished between us. And I finally realized what it was. The Honeymoon.”
“I thought you never had a honeymoon.”
“We didn’t. We got married and he left for basic two days later. But I was talking about the boat. The sailboat he bought with our wedding money. We were going to sail around the world with it.”
“That wreck you keep in your boathouse?” Lisa asked.
“It’s not a wreck anymore. After I had it trucked out here from San Diego, I decided to spend some time fixing it up. And it’s almost ready to sail. In a few months, I’m going to sail it to California. And if that goes well, I may just decide to keep going.”
Lisa shook her head. “California? So you’re just going to sail on down to the Panama Canal all by yourself. What about hurricanes? What about pirates and drug runners and...and whales? Whales run into sailboats all the time. Haven’t you read Moby Dick?”
“I’m well aware of the dangers,” Annie said. “I’ve been sailing since I was a kid. This is something I need to do. I think maybe it might be the closure I need. I’ll take the honeymoon we never had, and then I’ll sell the boat in California and come back here.”
“Well, I think it’s a crazy idea. If you want closure, you need to find yourself a new man. And there are plenty of handsome, single men invited to this wedding.”
“And all of them are in the military,” Annie said.
“My soon-to-be husband was in charge of that side of the guest list, so I can’t be blamed. What’s wrong with a military man?”
“I don’t think I can go through all of that again. The waiting, the worrying. I just want a regular guy. An accountant or a salesman. Someone who will be home every night and doesn’t have anyone shooting at him.”
“I know exactly what you mean. That’s why I refused to marry Nellie for so long,” Lisa said. “I waited until he was done with active duty.”
“You have three children,” Annie said.
“I couldn’t help myself. But now he’s home and safe. It’s the right time. The kids are old enough to start questioning why Mommy and Daddy have different last names. Nellie’s got an engineering job lined up with Lockheed, and we’re going to finally live a normal life.”
A knock sounded on the door, and Annie went over to open it. Lisa’s six-year-old daughter, Sky, waited on the other side. She was a bridesmaid and carried three bouquets in her arms.
“Grandma said I should bring these to you and that they’re ready for you to come down.”
She handed Annie a simple clutch of daisies and gave her mother a bouquet of white roses. Lisa gave her daughter a hug. “Do you remember what to do?”
Sky nodded. “I walk with Riv on this side and Breezie on this side. And Riv carries the rings and Breezie throws the petals. And then we stand next to Annie and try not to squirm. And if we’re good, we get to drink as much soda as we want to.”
Annie laughed. “That’s a nice reward.”
“You dance with a few men, and I’ll let you have soda, too,” Lisa said.
“All right.” Annie grabbed Sky’s hand. “Let’s go have a wedding. Are you excited?”
The little girl nodded.
“Me, too.” They walked out into the hall, Lisa trailing behind them. As they reached the first floor, the rest of the bridal party was waiting. River and Breezie looked more nervous than excited, as did Lisa’s father, John.
They arranged themselves on the back deck, taking last-minute instructions from Lisa, before they began their walk to the orchard. They were in sight of the guests when a dark-haired man in a blue Oxford shirt came jogging past them.
He turned and faced Lisa, his hands up, his expression contrite. “Sorry I’m late. You look great. Where should I go?”
“Gabe! We didn’t think you’d make it.”
“Change of plans,” he said. He glanced over at Annie and for an instant their gazes locked. The smile faded from his face. “Annie? What are you doing here?”
She swallowed hard, unable to fashion a coherent reply. All that she could manage was a very meek “Hello.”
He quickly turned and headed toward the gathering of guests. Annie let out a tightly held breath and tried to keep her whole body from melting into a puddle. How many times over the past seventeen months had she thought about that kiss? Too many to count. And every time it had come to mind, always in speculation of what might have happened had she responded, it had been followed by waves of guilt.
“What was that?” Lisa asked, looking back and forth between the retreating Gabe and her matron of honor.
“Nothing,” Annie murmured. “I was just startled. I didn’t know you were going to invite him.”
“He’s one of Nellie’s buddies. Remember? He and Nellie were in flight school together.”
“I remember. Erik, too.” She drew a ragged breath. “I...I just haven’t seen him since that night. You know, the kiss.”
Lisa’s mother grabbed her daughter’s arm. “Darling, they’re waiting. We need to go. We’re already seven minutes late.”
“They’ll wait,” Lisa said. She turned back to Annie. “What kiss?”
“Didn’t I tell you about that?” Annie asked.
“No.”
“Oh, I thought I had. Well, a few weeks after Erik’s funeral, Gabe kissed me. In the boat shed. We were talking and I was crying and he was holding me and...it just happened.”
“Darling, they’ve started the processional music. Everyone is waiting.”
“Mother, I’m the bride. Nellie has been waiting all these years to marry me. Believe me, he’ll wait a few minutes longer.”
“I’m fine,” Annie said. “We have to go.” She took River’s hand and gently drew him along. “Come on, let’s go get married. Your mother and I can talk later.”
“Damn right we’ll be talking later,” Lisa muttered. “I’m going to want all the details.”
When they reached the far end of the aisle, Annie sent the children down, pointing to their father and their uncle Peter, who were waiting next to the minister. River chose to run, while Breeze took her job seriously, plucking one pink rose petal at a time from the basket and placing it on the ground in front of her. Meanwhile, Sky was forced to walk at a snail’s pace behind her, rolling her eyes and urging her little sister to speed it up.
The processional music finished before Annie had even taken a step up the aisle, so to everyone’s laughter, the vocalist began the song all over. Annie slowly walked toward the flower-covered arbor, her gaze fixed on the white ribbons as they blew in the breeze.
She knew he was watching her, but she was afraid to look around and risk meeting his gaze. If she had told Lisa about the kiss, then she could have written this off as a setup, pure and simple. They were best friends and she should have at least mentioned it. But Annie had kept that night a secret and, over time, tried to rationalize her response.