NOTICED BUCK’S eyes linger on Tracy as she disappeared inside the doors. He knew what his buddy was going to say before he said it.
“You’re a cool one.” He switched his gaze to Carson with a secretive smile. “Nice has to be the understatement of all time.”
“Her son’s nice, too.”
“I can see that.” Suddenly his expression sobered. “Tony Baretta shouldn’t have had to die.”
His throat swelled with emotion for their suffering. “Amen.” After more coughing he said, “I’ll park the truck around back.”
“I’ll come with you.”
In a minute they’d washed up and entered the kitchen to eat lunch.
“How was the pack trip?”
“It went without a hitch, but I noticed there are a lot of tourists already.”
“There’ll be a ton more as we get into summer.”
They devoured their club sandwiches. “I’m thinking that on this first float trip we’ll stay away from any rapids. If they enjoy it, then we’ll do a more adventurous one in a few days.”
“Sounds good.”
“Ross is busy fishing with another group for the afternoon. Are you going to come?” Buck eyed Carson over the rim of his coffee cup.
“No. I need to lie down for a couple of hours.”
Buck frowned. “Come to think of it, you don’t seem yourself. What’s going on?”
Carson brought him up to speed on the forest fire. “I kept the mask on as much as possible, but I still took in too much smoke.”
“You shouldn’t have gone near there.”
“That’s what Tracy said.” He could still hear the concern in her voice.
His buddy’s brows lifted in surprise. “Did you tell her about the fire?”
“I had to so she wouldn’t think I was abandoning Johnny. When I called her to explain, I was hacking almost as badly as when we were first brought into the hospital. If I ever needed proof of how bad it is for us, yesterday did it. None of us should ever get anywhere close to a fire if we can possibly help it.”
“Tell me about it. Last night I had a few coughing spasms myself and realized I needed to stay away from the campfire.”
“We need to take oxygen and inhalers with us everywhere, in case we’re caught in a bad situation.”
“Agreed.”
“Tell Johnny and the kids I have ranch business and will meet them at the corral after dinner for another lesson. Let Willy know I’m here if an emergency arises.” The part-time apprentice mechanic from Jackson alternated shifts with Susan and Patty at the front desk for the extra money.
“Will do. Take it easy.” He looked worried.
Carson got up from the table. “I’ve learned my lesson. See you tonight.”
He left the kitchen and headed for his bedroom. Though he was a little more tired than usual after yesterday’s incident, he was using it as an excuse to stay away from Tracy. Carson felt like he was on a seesaw with her.
Sometimes she seemed to invite more intimate conversation, particularly when she talked about not wanting to manipulate her son’s feelings. Despite the blow that had changed her life, she had a healthy desire to be the best mom possible. He felt her love for Johnny, and it humbled him.
But other times, she’d keep her distance. He didn’t know how to penetrate that invisible wall she threw up, no doubt to protect herself.
She’d married into a family that kept her and Johnny close. If she’d done any dating since her husband’s death, it couldn’t have made much of an impact. Otherwise, she wouldn’t have left Ohio to come here for a week.
He stretched out on the bed. The more he thought about it, the more he was convinced this was her first experience being around a man again in such an isolated environment. A few more days together and he’d find out if she saw him in any other light than her host while she was on vacation.
This was new territory for him, too. He needed to take it slow and easy. Like the stallion he’d broken in at nineteen, you had to become friends first. The trick was to watch and key in to all the signals before you made any kind of move. One wrong step and the opportunity could be lost for a long time. Maybe forever.
And there was Johnny.
It was one thing to be the man who taught him how to horseback ride. But it was something else again if he sensed someone was trying to get close to his mother. She’d said Johnny showed signs of being overly protective.
No man would ever be able to replace his father. It would take her son’s approval and tremendous courage on Carson’s part before he could begin to establish a personal relationship with her, even if she were willing.
Last but not least would be the great obstacle of the Baretta family, who would resent another man infiltrating their ranks. Worse would be their fear of Carson influencing Tony’s son. He was their beloved flesh and blood.
Frustrated, he turned on his side. His thoughts went back to a certain conversation his grandfather had initiated.
“What are you looking for in a woman?”
“That’s the whole point. I’m not.”
“You don’t want children some day?”
“I don’t know.”
“One of the things I love most about you is your honesty, Carson. Wherever the military takes you, don’t ever lose that quality no matter what.”
“Grandpa, are you really okay about my becoming a marine?”
“The only thing I can imagine being worse than your staying home for me when you want to be elsewhere, would be for me to have to leave the ranch when it’s the only place I want to be. Does that answer your question?”
Oh yes, it answered it, all right. Carson had gone to do his tour of duty until it was cut short because he could no longer perform. Then he’d come home to the birthright his grandfather had bequeathed him without asking anything in return.
What tragic irony to be back for good, wanting to tell his grandfather that, at last, he could answer those questions. He wanted that talk so badly, tears stung his eyes. But it was too late to tell him what this woman and her son already meant to him.
When he couldn’t stand it any longer, he got up to shower and change clothes. There was always ranch business that required his attention. Work had proved to be the panacea to keep most of his demons at bay. But when he left his room, instead of heading for the den, he turned in the other direction and kept on walking right out the back door to his truck.
After reaching the barn, he saddled Blueberry. On his way out he saw Bert and told him he’d be back at seven to give the children another riding lesson. The other man said he’d have the ponies ready.
Carson thanked him and rode off. His horse needed the exercise, and needing the release, Carson rode hard to a rise overlooking the Snake River. In his opinion, this spot on the property captured the view of the granddaddy Teton at its most magnificent angle. He’d often wondered why his ancestor, Silas Lundgren, hadn’t chosen to build the original ranch house here.
While he sat astride Blueberry, his mind’s eye could imagine a house of glass, bringing the elements inside every room. Not a large house. Just the right size for a family to grow. Maybe a loft a little boy and his dog would love. From their perch they could watch a storm settle in over the Tetons, or follow the dive of an eagle intent on its prey.
The master bedroom would have the same view, with the added splendor of a grassy meadow filled with wildflowers coming right up