I’m asking you to do is nebulous and tricky and burdensome.”
Burdensome. The word made her want to laugh, but not in a good way. Walking beside Jonathan for the next weeks and months would tax her emotional strength and her acting ability.
“I’m honored,” she said slowly, trying not to give her secrets away. “I care about you, Jonathan. You’re facing some very dark days. So, yes, I’ll help you any way I can.”
She saw his chest rise and fall. Had he been so uncertain that she would agree to his proposal?
His throat rippled as he swallowed. His gaze held a bleak acknowledgment of what he faced. “Thank you.”
The two words were little more than a croak.
Tears stung her eyes. Without overthinking it, she went up on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek. Then she wrapped her arms around his stiff body in a brief hug. “I’m so very sorry,” she said.
He might as well have been a statue. “I have rules,” he said gruffly.
“Oh?” She shoved the hair from her face. Standing with the wind at her back made her feel disheveled.
“I won’t be coddled.” He snapped the words. “And I don’t want your pity. Understood?”
She recoiled inwardly, but she kept her expression calm. “I can live with that. But when I see that you need help, I’ll give it. So that’s my rule, I suppose. I won’t stand by and let you suffer if I can do anything about it.”
He blinked. Apparently the kiss and the hug hadn’t shocked him as much as her talking back to him with belligerence in her voice.
A tiny smile tilted the corners of his mouth. “I’ve spent most of the day thinking I’d never have anything to laugh about again. You just proved me wrong. Have I had a lioness in my midst disguised as a kitty cat all this time?”
Her face heated. “Things are about to change between us,” she said quietly. “Are you sure this is what you want?”
He leaned forward and brushed his lips against her cheek, barely a touch at all. “I am. I do.”
Something made her legs go all wonky. For a moment, she thought she might faint. If that was how a kiss from Jonathan affected her when he was being amused and affectionate, God help her if she ever experienced the real thing. She tried to suck in more air. “Okay then.”
Jonathan looped his arm through hers and turned them around. “It’s late,” he said. “We need to get you home.”
She would have slept in her car on the street if it had meant not ending this extraordinary interlude. His skin was warm against hers. She wanted to lean her head against his shoulder, but of course, she did not.
Something had happened here on this beach. The tides in her relationship with her boss had shifted to something far more real, more intimate. Unfortunately, she couldn’t even be glad about that change, because it meant she was losing him.
Back at the car, they dusted off their feet and used a water bottle for their impromptu cleanup. When Jonathan started the engine, he glanced sideways at her. “Dessert and coffee before we head back?”
Yes, her heart cried. Yes!
She shook her head. “It’s been a long day. I’d better not.”
“Of course.” He paused. “I think it goes without saying, but you must promise not to talk to anyone about my condition. No one. If the truth were to come out, our stock prices might plummet. Until I have a plan in place to handle the gossip and the fallout, there can’t be a whisper that anything is wrong.”
“I understand. You have my word.”
They barely spoke during the drive back. Without the beauty of the ocean and the beach to distract them, the enormity of Jonathan’s diagnosis filled her with aching compassion and raw regret. How could this be happening? It wasn’t fair. Not for him, not for his family, not for anyone.
But whoever said life was fair?
When they reached the Tarleton house, she exited the vehicle and stood beside her own car. In the unflattering glow of the security light beneath the house, Jonathan’s expression was grim, his skin sallow.
He seemed so damned brave and alone. She couldn’t leave him like this.
Rounding the car, she went to him and slid her arms around his waist. He wasn’t her boss at this moment. He was a man nearing a perilous cliff, a human being with little more than sheer grit and determination to help him face the days ahead.
At first, he was unresponsive. Maybe her emotion was only making things worse. Finally, a great shudder racked his frame. He buried his face in her hair and clung to her tightly.
Her tears wet his shirt. “I’m so sorry, Jonathan. So very sorry.”
They stood there like that for long moments. It might have been a minute or five or ten.
At last he straightened. He used his thumb to catch a tear on her lower lashes. “Don’t cry for me, Lizzy. I’d rather it be me than someone else. Hell, I probably deserve it.”
She stepped back reluctantly and stared up at him. “Don’t joke,” she said. “There’s nothing remotely funny about this situation.”
His smile was both weary and beautiful. “Isn’t that what they say? I have to laugh to keep from crying?”
“I can’t imagine you crying. You’re tough and resourceful. Very macho, in fact.”
“Is that how you see me?”
She shrugged. “You’ve been my boss. I only looked at you one way.”
“And now?”
Was this some kind of trick question?
She hesitated. “I know you’re human, Jonathan. Just like the rest of us. But I never wanted to test that theory. I’d rather think of you as a superhero than admit the truth right now.”
His wince echoed her honesty. “You and me both. This won’t be easy for me. And I’m not talking about the physical part. The prospect of not being in control scares the hell out of me.”
“I’ll be here, Jonathan. But you have to tell your family. They’ll be so hurt if you don’t and they find out another way.”
He shoved his hands into his pockets. “I’ll tell them. I swear. I just need a little time to wrap my head around this.”
“Have you thought about seeing a counselor or a priest...someone like that? It might help.”
He cupped her cheek in one big palm, his touch burning her skin and sending shivers of sensation in every direction. “I have you, Lisette. That will have to do.”
Lisette cried herself to sleep. And then had nightmares. Waking at dawn was a relief for half a second until the truth came rushing back with a vengeance. Jonathan was dying.
Thank God, she hadn’t turned in her resignation before he told her about his illness. He needed her. She was determined to give him all the love and care she could muster...but without letting on that she had loved him for a long time. That news would make things worse. She knew it instinctively.
The only reason he had asked for her help was because she was an outsider he could trust. So—not family.
Walking into the downtown office that morning was anticlimactic. Jonathan was on a conference call with someone in England. The entire floor was abuzz with the usual ebb and flow of projects and activities.
Lisette loved working for Tarleton Shipping. As hard as it had been to make the decision to leave, it was impossible