noticed her wistful gaze because he said, “Did you want coffee?”
“No. It’s okay. I’ll just have water.” She uncapped her bottle and took a quick slug, the cold liquid making her stomach clench as it hit. She couldn’t repress the slight grimace. She drank water because it was good for her, but it had never been her favorite beverage.
“Are you sure you don’t want some? It has milk. Just like you like.”
Something about that sent a rush of moisture to her eyes. She wasn’t even sure why. He’d given her coffee in his office too. It had to be the stress of the trip and everything that went with it. Before she could stop herself, she blurted out, “Could I? Just a sip.”
“You’re the one who introduced me to milk in my coffee.” He smiled and handed her the cup, the heat of it in her hands a welcome change from the incessant blowing of the air conditioner. She took a tiny sip.
Oh! That was good. Rich and dark and full of flavor. She took a second sip and then a third before finally forcing herself to hand the cup back.
“Are you sure you don’t want more?”
“Positive. But that was delicious.”
He smiled. “Italian. Hard to beat.”
Yes, it was. And not just the coffee. She’d missed him. Missed the good times. The lovemaking. The laughter. But she didn’t miss what had come toward the end. That huge fight during the meeting about the patient’s diagnosis had caused a major rift between them. Add that to her growing uneasiness about their relationship, her fear that she would repeat the mistakes she’d made with Kyle. And then the final blow of the downsizing. She hadn’t even been able to warn Luca about it before it happened due to that same fear of showing him preferential treatment.
It was easier with him gone. She kept telling herself that, even though easier didn’t necessarily mean better. It was just less complicated.
Less complicated? Was she kidding? They had a baby now. She shook that thought away, washing the coffee down with another sip of water, as if that would take care of the predicament she found herself in. If she’d had an abortion she wouldn’t be here right now.
And yet... Her eyes went to the baby’s crib. There’s no way she’d give any of this up, even if she could.
“Remind me to buy some Italian roast coffee before I go back to the States.”
“It won’t be the same as drinking it here.”
No, it wouldn’t. Life itself wasn’t the same since he’d left. But he’d made it pretty obvious back then that he wasn’t interested in working things out.
Maybe they’d been similar in all the wrong ways. They were both neurologists, even if their respective specialties had subtle differences to them. Elyse treated patients, and while Luca dealt with patients as well, his side was more involved in testing, interpreting and diagnosing. But the two subspecialties overlapped. A lot. And there had been times she’d been certain of a diagnosis and had spoken her mind. Luca had never challenged her.
Until that one difficult case, when he’d done so during a staff meeting. If he’d been a nurse, a tech, or even another doctor, it might have been a nonissue. She could have listened and then made a decision based on the evidence at hand. That would have been that. But because it was Luca, she’d found herself wanting to defer to him. Not because she thought he was necessarily right but because of their relationship. And she knew herself well enough to know it would happen again. Why? Because she’d been there once before with Kyle.
If she and Luca had worked at different hospitals, those murky situations wouldn’t have arisen in the first place. They could have...
She sighed, cutting herself off. All the might-haves in the world wouldn’t change the reality of what was. Or the fact that he’d clearly found it easy to leave Atlanta—and her—behind.
Luca sat in one of the two club chairs in the room, backed by a wall that was thickly textured, like those in many of the buildings she’d seen. Elyse perched on the edge of one of the two beds. Thank goodness the maid service had already been and tidied up. It might have made an already awkward situation even more unbearable.
Elyse decided to tackle the elephant in the room. “So where do we go from here, Luca?”
“I don’t know.” He glanced at the crib, where the baby was currently sleeping. “Right now, I’m wishing I had more than a month with her.”
“I know. I wish you did too. But my maternity leave is going to end. I don’t see how I can extend it.” She didn’t add that she hadn’t been sure of his reaction.
The fact that he was sitting here saying he wanted more time with Anna created an entirely different problem.
She went on. “If you have any ideas—other than my leaving her behind—I’m open to suggestions.” She hadn’t meant it as a jab at the past, but the quick tightening of his lips said he’d taken it as one.
“I would never ask you to leave her.”
“I know that.”
His elbows landed on his knees, hands dangling between his strong thighs. Thighs that she’d once...
Nope. No going down that path, Elyse. That’s what had gotten her in trouble in the first place.
Luca had captured her attention from the moment he’d walked onto her floor at the hospital. Only she had just gotten out of a difficult relationship with Kyle a year earlier and hadn’t been anxious to repeat the experience. She’d resisted going out with him, feeling proud of herself, until he’d walked out of that surgical suite that day looking like a beaten man. He’d touched her heart, and the rest was history. She’d told herself the attraction would eventually burn itself out. It hadn’t.
Even now, she knew she still wanted him.
He looked up. “I think we’re overlooking the obvious solution.”
Her heart leaped in her chest. Was he saying he wanted to get back together?
And if he did?
She swallowed. He lived here, and she lived in Atlanta. Besides, the damage had been done. He’d never forgive her for firing him. He’d made that pretty clear when he’d left.
“I guess I’m still overlooking it, because I don’t see an obvious solution at all.”
“We could get married.”
Her mouth, which had been open to make a completely different suggestion, snapped shut again. Surely she hadn’t heard him correctly?
“I’m sorry?” Maybe he was saying he wanted to get back together. But marriage? Um, no. Not a possibility.
She hurried to send the conversation in a completely different direction. “Maybe you could just move back to the States? We could work out an agreement for visitation.”
Why had she said that? Maybe because that was the only obvious thing her brain could catch hold of. They could work at different hospitals and be aloofly friendly. Like those famous divorced couples who managed to get along for the sake of their kids.
“That’s not quite what I had in mind.”
“I can’t marry you. We don’t even like each other anymore.” She forced out the words, even though they were a lie. She did like him. A little too much, in fact.
“You can’t marry me? Or you won’t?” Luca got up from his chair and went over to stand by the crib. He leaned over, fingers sliding over the baby’s forehead, pushing back some dark locks of hair. Then he twirled the tiny ponytail in a way that made her stomach clench. Watching him with their baby girl set up an ache she couldn’t banish.
It wasn’t something she was likely to see every day as Annalisa grew up. But she couldn’t marry him. Aside from the fact that he didn’t love her—he’d