would.
He had disappeared so she could have a better life. One without the destructive person he used to be. He would have done anything for her. He had. And none of that had changed.
Good thing she was clearly done with any idea of him, because when she had first hugged him... If she had kept that up, it would have been very difficult to keep her at arm’s length emotionally. But that’s what he had to do. Wade had to focus on healing the hurt he had caused his family and focus on trying to beat his suspected thyroid cancer and both of those things were enough for any man. He wouldn’t offer his heart to Cassidy, not broken and sick as he was.
If her reaction was any indication, she would never want it again, anyway.
“Cassidy’s here.” Wade dropped down into one of the seats. He had imagined seeing his mom and most of his siblings, but whenever he had let his mind wander to the girlfriend he had left behind—which it often had—he had told himself that she was married by now or had moved on, far away from anywhere he would ever be. But here at Red Dog Ranch? The thought had never occurred to him.
Rhett crossed his arms. “Of course she’s here.”
Wade pressed his palms together, looked down, then looked up at the ceiling. “I have a kid, Rhett.” Guilt burned a hot trail down his ribs. “A daughter.”
“And she’s a really great kid, at that.” Rhett leaned against the pew a few feet away on the opposite end of the aisle. “But you had no part in raising her to be that way. Why not, Wade? I’m having a really hard time coming up with any positive reason you could have had for faking your death, but I’m all ears.”
His reasons wouldn’t appease his big brother. Besides, right now Wade was far more focused on the fact that he had a child.
“I didn’t know.” He would not have gone if he had known Cassidy was pregnant. Of that he was sure. “I give you my word, Rhett. I didn’t know.”
Rhett’s eyebrows went up. “Whether or not you knew doesn’t matter. You deserted her.” He said the words slowly, deliberately. “You opted to step out of our lives for five years and by doing so, you missed a lot. You can’t ever get those years back. And you sure don’t get to stroll in here and pretend like they didn’t happen. You don’t get to be proud of Piper when you had nothing to do with raising her.”
When Wade decided to return, he had known he would face roadblocks and consequences. He had guessed that it would take a long time to regain his family’s faith—if he was ever able to. He owned the fact that his actions had caused damage. Wade had returned because he was ready to do something about it and if he was being honest, he had also returned because he was scared and he needed his family.
But he hadn’t known the depth of what his recklessness had cost him.
Wade was a dad.
He had a child. A family of his own.
Whatever it took, he was ready and willing to prove that he wasn’t the same man who had walked away from them.
He hadn’t been there for Cassidy when she had been the one he was trying to help by leaving. She had needed him.
Although, maybe she hadn’t. Maybe no one needed Wade Jarrett.
He dropped his head and pressed his fingertips to his forehead. “This is so much worse than I thought. And that’s saying a lot.”
“We thought you drowned. They located the boat you were on. It capsized, Wade.” Rhett pushed off the pew to stand to his full height. “Was that all for show?”
“The storm came out of nowhere. Everyone had been drinking.” Ashamed of his old lifestyle, Wade looked away from his brother’s heavy gaze. His eyes landed on the cross hanging on the front wall of the chapel. The sight of it caused the tightness in his chest to ease. No matter what happened or how his family reacted, God had forgiven him. Wade knew that with as much certainty as he knew he was breathing. God had welcomed him home, into His family...even if Wade’s flesh and blood never fully did.
The only reason Wade had made it that night was because he had been appointed captain for the evening, so he hadn’t drunk as much as the rest of the party. As his buddies all drowned in the Gulf of Mexico, he had hung on to a piece of wreckage. He had tried to save them, tried to reach them, but the storm had produced gigantic waves and they had been out of sight within seconds.
“A group on a yacht pulled me out of the ocean. They saved my life. That’s where I’ve been this whole time.” He finally made eye contact with his brother. “In the Gulf. I’ve been working as a deckhand for cash and places to sleep.” Working on luxury charter boats was hard work and long hours that many people didn’t want to do. It hadn’t been difficult to find crews willing to take him on. As long as he kept his mouth shut, did whatever the guests asked and put in fourteen-hour days without complaint, they had been happy to keep him on board.
“After all that, why now?” Rhett frowned. “Why are you here?”
Because some of the best thyroid surgeons are only hours away in Houston.
Because I’m scared and I need my family.
Wade swallowed hard.
“Whenever we docked, I tried to catch up on stateside news.” Most of his last five years had been spent offshore in the Caribbean. The sights had been amazing, but after the first year he had missed the mainland. “I read about the tornado. There were articles about Red Dog Ranch. About a fund-raiser to help offset the destruction.”
“Macy’s doing.” Warmth flooded Rhett’s words. “We’re engaged, by the way. Wedding’s set for the end of the month. Nothing fancy, mind you. We’d like it to be just family.”
“Seriously?” Wade offered a tentative smile. “It’s about time.”
“Stay on topic.” Rhett moved his hand in a circular motion. “Why you’re here.”
“I dug a little deeper and that’s when I found Dad’s obituary.” Wade looked away and swallowed a few more times. He covered his mouth with his hand. “I missed the funeral.”
Rhett’s head bobbed. “You’ve missed a lot more than that. I’ll have to get you caught up on what’s going on with Mom too.”
“I want to help, Rhett. Help with the rebuild. With anything else that’s going on.” He moved his hands to encompass the ranch’s land. “I’m asking if I can stay here, work here.” If I can come home. He let out a shaky breath. “But I know it’s completely up to you.”
Rhett turned so his back was to Wade. He scooped off his hat and hooked his hand around the back of his neck, clamping down on the muscles there. He bowed his head a fraction.
“You can give me the worst tasks. Long hours.” Wade rose as nervous energy jangled through his limbs. If Rhett said no, Wade wasn’t sure what he would do. He had no backup plan. “I won’t complain.”
Rhett rolled his shoulders as he pivoted to face him. “And what do you get out of it?”
“Forgiveness, I hope,” Wade answered with gut-honesty. “I’d like an opportunity to reconcile, if that’s possible.”
“I’m saying yes.” Rhett held up a finger. “But I’m only saying it because Dad’s will was specific on the topic. It says I have to always have a job waiting for any of my siblings if the need arises.” He took a step toward Wade. “Understand, I’m not saying yes because I think this is a good idea. If it were me, I’d ease back into life here slower.” He rested his hand over his heart. “I don’t think you comprehend how much you hurt everyone and how difficult this is going to be. I respect that you need to handle this how you see fit—however, I need your word that if your presence starts ripping this family apart that you will be mature and do something to fix that.”
To leave.