Zack asked.
Susan took a breath, startled that he captured the ideal Tom had often voiced. Was it a universal male thing? Her defenses rose when he mentioned a safer neighborhood. It was something she thought about a lot. The few blocks surrounding their apartment were not the best in the city, but it was the best she could afford. It wasn’t too much of a problem while Danny was still little. She worried about when he got older. What if he fell in with the wrong crowd. Even a gang. She would like a better home, but her talents were limited and she earned more where she was than a teacher would. Which was the only other thing she had trained for. But she wasn’t sharing that with a stranger, no matter how much he interested her.
“He’s too young to take proper care of a dog. Maybe when he’s older. Pets are allowed in our building, you know.” There would be no house with a yard for them.
“Oh,” Zack said.
“The preschool he goes to two mornings a week is close, as is shopping. And I don’t have the upkeep of a yard.”
“Do you work nearby?” he asked.
“At the UN. I’m a translator. German.”
And lucky to get such a well-paying job after her husband’s death. They’d planned on her staying home with the baby, not having a day care provider be with their child all day. Unfortunately things didn’t turn out that way.
“And your husband?”
She took a deep breath. The shock of loss still startled her. “He died a couple of years ago. He was an attorney.” Susan sought Danny. He laughed as he slid down the slide, chased by two friends. She smiled at his happiness. So often he lapsed into sulks with his father gone. He and Tom had enjoyed a special bond by the time Danny turned two.
“Sorry to hear about your loss. Cute kid you have.”
“I’m so grateful for Danny. He kept me going when Tom died.”
Susan watched her son. She didn’t want him to forget Tom, so she had photographs all around the apartment. She told him stories about Tom as a boy. And about how they had met and got married. She wanted Tom to be a part of his life even though Danny’s memories would fade over time. She wondered even now if he had any real memories, or just the stories she told about his daddy, and the pictures he saw every day.
Sometimes Susan couldn’t remember a detail or two. She’d panic and search in her mind. She never wanted to forget anything about the man she’d loved so much.
“Do you have a child here?” Susan asked, looking at all the children. There had to be twenty, of all ages from toddlers with their mothers nearby to children aged seven or eight.
“No. I just wanted a place to sit in the sun and read the paper. It was only after I was here a while that children started arriving. The playground is quite a draw, isn’t it?”
“Closest playground in this area. With all the apartments around here, you know there’re lots of kids,” she explained. “We come as often as we can. It’s a great way for Danny to play with friends and get fresh air and sunshine. Probably not so appealing to people who want to also enjoy the fresh air but not have the noise.”
Zack shrugged. “It suits me. I like to watch them. I know very little about children. I live in a world of men in a harsh environment. No grass where I’ve been the last eighteen months. This is like an oasis.”
“Where have you been?”
“In a small country in the Arabian desert. We were building a dam across a river. The lake behind it will give irrigation to hundreds of acres for agricultural purposes.”
“Did someone protest?”
“No.” He looked puzzled.
“You said you are recovering from a land mine explosion,” Susan said.
“Oh, that. I was temporarily assigned to another site our company is handling, closer to the war zone. That’s where the mine was.”
“Anyone else hurt?”
He shook his head. “One man killed, but no one else injured.”
“That’s awful.”
“It’s amazing how life can change in an instant,” he said. “Or end as quickly.”
She nodded. “That’s what happened to me. One minute my husband was alive and on his way home from work, the next dead when a drunk driver ran a red light and killed him. No warning. No time for goodbyes.”
He glanced at her but she watched Danny. The aching grief was never far away. “That must have been tough. Especially with a child.”
She nodded. “But we’re getting by,” she said— to convince Zack or herself?
Zack had taken a chance that Susan Johnson would bring Danny to the park this morning. The weather forecast had been for a warm day and he hoped she was in the habit of letting her son play outside. He’d read the entire newspaper and about given up when he’d seen them cross the street. Patience was not a virtue he considered he had. But it had paid off today.
And luck, as well, when she joined him on the bench. There were other empty spots she could have chosen. He was glad she sat beside him.
The more she spoke, the more he wanted to know about her. There was sadness in her eyes. She still grieved her husband. But when she looked at Danny, she seemed to light up inside.
How would it feel to have someone look at him that way? He hoped his mother had at least one time, but he would never know. He’d never met a woman who loved him. He wasn’t sure it was possible. There had to be something wrong with someone who had been abandoned by his parents, shuffled around in foster care and unable to make a lasting commitment.
Zack frowned. That wasn’t true. He had made a commitment to work and stuck by it despite the real hardships and uncomfortable—even dangerous— living conditions.
But relationships were different.
He hadn’t even warranted a note from Alesia telling him about his son.
He shifted slightly, trying to ease the ache in his back. He was stiffening up. He needed to walk again. But he hated to leave. He might never get another opportunity like this to speak with the woman who was now mother to his child.
There was so much to find out.
“Are you staying nearby?” Susan asked.
He nodded. “In a small hotel.” Nearby was relative. The hotel was certainly closer than his work site. It required a subway ride and a walk of several blocks, but he wasn’t going to tell her that if he didn’t need to.
“I wish I knew of someone subletting an apartment or something,” she said. “It has to be costly to stay in a hotel, no matter how modest.”
Zack decided not to tell her the company was picking up the expenses. All medical costs as well. Then what she said registered. She would suggest a place for him to sublet? Close enough he might see Susan and Danny again? He hadn’t thought about getting to know them. He’d only wanted to make sure his son was healthy and happy.
He had at least two more months, maybe longer, before the doctor would certify him for work. He could spend some of it here—with the woman beside him and his son.
“I appreciate the thought,” he said.
She frowned. “I’ll ask around. There has to be something, though sublets get snapped up fast. Housing is so expensive here.”
“Why not move to a more affordable place?”
“This is the closest apartment to the UN I could afford. I don’t want to spend any more time away from Danny than I have to, which moving out farther would entail.”
He hadn’t thought about that. There was a lot more involved to family life than he’d originally