on the topic for ever.
She’d signed. By then she’d realised how little Peter Rosche had truly ever cared about her and that she couldn’t expose Ella to how much her father didn’t want her. Dan loving his children to pieces, yes, Jess did find that appealing, but she needed to admire it from afar, not want to acknowledge it on any kind of personal level.
‘Do you know how to drive a van the size of mine, Jess? I’ll fit the baby seat back into it tonight, for Ella. I still have ours from when Annapolly needed it.’ Dan’s gaze shifted over her, perhaps to assess whether he thought she could manage the larger vehicle.
Perhaps because, like Jess, he struggled not to notice her? To be aware?
In your dreams, Jessica Baker.
‘I haven’t driven a van like yours, but I’ve driven a four-wheel-drive.’ Peter had owned one, and let Jess drive it now and then.
‘I took the van today, but I’ve a second car in the shed here that I got shifted down with us.’ Dan shook his head. ‘I should have thought of that before I went to Sydney. You need the van here in case you have to drive anywhere with the children. You don’t have to walk if you don’t want to.’
‘Thanks. That sounds sensible.’ Jess got to her feet. ‘I’d better get Ella and head home.’
‘Luke woke up when I checked on him. He said you let them have a watermelon-seed-spitting contest.’
Had the boy been accusatory about that? Jess paused a few steps away from the couch. ‘Boys need to be a little bit gross, otherwise they don’t know how to turn into men.’
Her eyes widened as she realised the way the words had come out. ‘That is, I didn’t mean it to sound as though men are gross. What I meant was—’
‘Building strength by not having to act like girls all the time is important for the males of the race?’ A smile twitched at the corners of his mouth.
This teasing style of grin was also a thing of beauty on Dan, Jess discovered, and she got caught in the headlights of it. Maybe that was because the smile reached all the way to the depths of his eyes even as it curved his lips in the most enticing way.
Home.
Now.
Before one more thought like that leaks from the one brain cell you have left, apparently, that’s even trying to remain in control at the moment!
‘I’ll carry the baby for you.’ Dan’s smile had faded, too.
Jess nodded and forced her feet to take her forward, into the room where Ella slept, bum in the air, in the travel cot. Jess scooped her daughter up and set her into Dan’s arms in a smooth motion. Their hands barely touched and yet it was a touch that Jess had secretly craved.
Ella snuggled her sleepy head into Dan’s neck and softness came over his face.
Jess swallowed hard. She walked ahead of Dan out to her car, opened it up and took over to settle Ella into her car restraint. ‘Thanks for carrying her. I’ll see you in the morning, bright and early.’ Sleep well, Dan.
‘Goodnight, Jess.’ Dan rubbed his hand across his jaw as though uncertain what to do with it.
Reach for her?
In your dreams, Jess.
Jess started the car’s engine and was grateful that it was a small, economic one that went a long way on its tank of petrol.
‘You’ll be all right going home at this hour?’ Dan frowned. ‘I want you to text me from your mobile phone when you get home. That way I can store the number to check on you the next time, and I’ll know you got there okay.’
‘Thanks.’ It was the silliest thing, but Jess had to turn her head away for a moment. She made a production of checking her blind spot and then she just rolled the car forward and drove away.
She had to do better at keeping her distance tomorrow, from Dan. Investing in his children was one thing. It was a part of the job, and that hadn’t been completely easy so far. Luke had made sure of that.
Investing her feelings in Dan when he didn’t want that and she couldn’t afford to was a whole other matter.
‘Not only can’t afford it,’ Jess muttered aloud as she turned the car into the cottage’s driveway, ‘I must not do such a thing. It’s Jess and Ella and that’s all. That’s how it has to be.’
But Dan had been kind. Thoughtful. So much the opposite of the treatment Jess had received at the hands of Ella’s father.
How was Jess supposed to deal with it? By realising he’d been kind and thoughtful from an employer’s perspective. That was how!
CHAPTER FOUR
‘AND MY BIRTHDAY’S the eleventh of June.’ Robert Frazier chattered beside Jess as she and all the children made their way back out of the council building in town the next morning.
They’d walked. It was a pleasant distance to the town centre from Dan’s home; the morning was cool and fresh and the children had plenty of energy. Luke had wanted to stay home by himself but Jess had vetoed that.
At times Jess felt Luke was testing her. All she could do was try to be reasonable in return.
Jess had gained Luke’s cooperation on this occasion and she had gone to the council to make her payment.
She just hadn’t been able to get any better answers about the future of her home. She’d been given the run-around through three different people. She’d left Luke in charge while she did that, hoping the boy would soften if he realised she wasn’t trying to treat him like a baby. Jess hadn’t been able to tell whether her efforts with him had been successful or not.
Her efforts hadn’t been particularly successful at the council. Well, she’d just have to go back when she only had Ella in tow and stick around until she got results. ‘When we get home, Rob, we might make a chart of all the birthdays.’
Rob had already told Jess that Daisy’s birthday was coming up. That was one to speak to Dan about when he got home later.
Jess shouldn’t be viewing that discussion as the beginnings of a ritual, hoping for time with Dan regularly. ‘Come on, kids. We’d better get back before the sun warms up too much and we don’t feel like walking.’
After lunch Dan phoned and said he was coming home early and should see her mid-afternoon.
Jess got off the phone and found all the children in the living room.
‘The laundry’s all out on the line and I think I can get away with not doing too much else in the way of house cleaning for the day. Would anyone like to help make cookies?’ Dan might like some home baking. Jess figured the kids wouldn’t say no. While Luke and Rob opted to ride their bikes outside, she got the others involved and set to work.
Soon there were cookies cooling on trays and Jess had handed some out to each of the children. The boys had come in for their share and life wasn’t bad. Luke wasn’t glaring right now. Jess had a job to do that she was enjoying. The children had cookies, and she wasn’t totally out of money yet.
‘Annapolly’s taking a bit of time to use the loo.’ Jess frowned. The little girl had gone to the bathroom just a few short minutes ago, but even so. ‘Luke, would you take everyone out on the veranda to eat the cookies, please? I’ll be there in a minute. I just want to check on your sister.’
Luke frowned, but wordlessly herded the others outside, and Jess turned her attention to seeking out Dan’s youngest.
Independent loo visits for four-year-olds were important for feelings of pride and independence. Jess realised this and she didn’t want to encroach on Annapolly’s privacy. She didn’t want to make unreasonable demands