a car accident eighteen months ago.”
“I’m sorry.”
“She was carrying our first child, a son. The doctors couldn’t save either of them.”
“How terrible.” They were simple words, the same so many people had used over the months, but something in the tone of Macy’s voice told him she could hear the silent scream inside him. And he hated the vulnerability her knowing inspired.
Pushing off the desk, he went to the window so he wouldn’t have to face the pity, thinking that he preferred the harshness of her judgment. “I merely want the child I was denied, Ms. McKinney…Macy. It’s as simple as that.”
“Simple?” she echoed. “Nothing about this is simple. Surely you must realize that.”
“It’s as simple as we make it.”
“How do you plan to…I mean, how would I…”
He kept his face averted. “Become pregnant? You’d be artificially inseminated, of course. I want this to be handled as professionally as possible, in every way.”
“Of course.” She seemed to breathe a little easier. “And once I’m pregnant…”
He turned toward her. “You’d carry my baby and deliver it, then you’d turn the child over to me and walk away forever. And for your trouble, you’d be a hundred thousand dollars richer.”
She studied him as though trying to decide what he was thinking behind the mask of his face. “What if I were to miscarry?”
“You’d be paid in installments as the pregnancy progresses, the final payment after delivery, all nonrefundable deposits.”
“God, it sounds like you’re buying a house,” she whispered, squeezing her eyes shut.
“The terms have to be clear, Macy, or we’re setting ourselves up for disaster.”
Composing herself, she sat up taller. “I realize that. This is just all so…so unnatural.”
Thad went back to staring down at the traffic ebbing and flowing in the street below, remembering Valerie’s radiant smile the morning she woke him with breakfast in bed to say she was pregnant. Valerie was gone. Now there was no natural way to achieve what he wanted. But when the baby arrived, the end would justify the means. He wouldn’t be alone anymore. After eighteen long months he might actually feel something again. “It’s the only way.”
“What if the baby isn’t whole or healthy? What then?”
“Perfect or not, the child is mine. I’ll take care of any medical bills. On the off chance that something should…happen to you in delivery, the money would go to your heirs.”
“That’s a comfort, at least.”
He glanced over his shoulder at the sarcasm in her voice, and she lifted her hands in a defensive gesture. “I know, I know. We have to talk about all possibilities, make everything clear.”
“It’s a business deal, Macy. The more we think of it that way, the easier it will be for both of us.”
“A business deal,” she repeated, then, more loudly, “When do you hope to finalize your plans?”
“The sooner the better.” He thought of a baby’s happy gurgle breaking the tomblike silence of the house that awaited him at the end of each day and thought it couldn’t be soon enough. “Are you interested?”
Her forehead creased and she sighed. “Yes.”
“Then you’ll need to fill out an application.” He strode to his desk and searched for the packet he’d so carefully created, the one that grew thicker every day. By the time Ms. McKinney finished with his questions, he’d know everything about her, from her shoe size to her grandparents’ medical history. “You are single, right? That’s imperative.”
Tucking her silky black hair behind one ear, she gave him a look that said she was surprised marital status even mattered to a man who was already bending all the rules. “I’m divorced.”
“Good.” He handed her the questionnaire, and her eyebrows shot up when the weight of it transferred to her hand.
“I’ve seen shorter dissertations. When would you like this back?”
Thad wasn’t sure how long it would take to fill out. No one else had gotten beyond the initial interview. Macy McKinney hadn’t passed with flying colors, but he was interested enough to take it one step farther. “I’m still interviewing, so you might want to get it back to me in the next day or two.”
“Fine.” She glanced at her watch and stuck out her hand. “I have to go. Thank you for your time.”
Thad clasped her hand in his, noting the delicate bones and soft skin. She had good doctor’s hands, even though they were a bit cool to the touch. And though physical beauty was far from his primary concern, he couldn’t help noticing she had other good features, too—and genes that would make a pretty baby.
“Hello?”
A woman he’d interviewed a few days ago poked her head through the door and thrust out a huge cookie bouquet wrapped in purple cellophane.
Thad stifled a groan.
“I’m sorry to interrupt,” she said, her voice sticky sweet, “but I thought you might enjoy these. Aren’t they darling?”
“Miss—”
“Lanna, silly. Call me Lanna, remember?”
Thad tried to suppress the twitch that started in his cheek. With Lanna came the memory of the other bold women his offer had enticed, and suddenly Macy McKinney’s cool reserve looked far more appealing than it had a moment ago. “Lanna, I told you I’d call you when I made my final decision. I’m sorry that it’s taking some time, but—”
“My phone’s been on the blink, and I thought you might have tried to reach me.” Coming into the room, she ignored Macy and shoved the cookies in his face so he could admire them. Then she set the elaborate bouquet on his desk, next to the flowers someone else had sent him yesterday.
Thad looked at the cookies and knew there would be a lot more where they came from if he didn’t do something to stop Lanna and her competitors. “Actually, I’m glad you’re here,” he heard himself say almost before he knew what was going to come out of his mouth, “because I think I’ve reached a decision.”
“Yeah?” Her smile broadened as she positioned herself with one hand on his desk, bending slightly forward to show her cleavage to best advantage. “Who’s the lucky girl?”
“Ms. McKinney and I still have to go over her application, but if she agrees to the background check and everything else is in order, then she is.”
Thad glanced at Macy and saw her eyes widen. He also noted, again, the thinness of her body and the drawn look to her face. “If she passes the physical,” he added.
CHAPTER TWO
THAT NIGHT, Macy’s eyes traced the blue veins visible just below the surface of her daughter’s translucent skin as Haley slept, curled up, in a hospital bed that nearly swallowed her whole. Her breathing was markedly shallow, but after fifteen minutes of studying the rise and fall of her small chest, Macy couldn’t decide whether or not she was resting any easier than she had the previous night. That last round of chemotherapy had really taken it out of her, poor baby, but even at such a terrible price, the treatments had done little to stop the lymphoma.
Thad Winters’s notion of an application lay in Macy’s lap, and she thought briefly of using this time to fill it out. Who knew when Haley’s vomiting might start again, when she might need to be held and rocked. The night could get long. But Macy refused to turn her attention to other things for fear death would creep in and steal her only child away.
“God,