Jordan got home. “Just here and there.”
Ignoring her vow to forget about Forest almost as soon as she made it, Jordan set her glass down in the coffee table with a clink. “Let me get this straight. We run an anonymous website with hundreds of members, and our sole job is to collect and verify information on the eligible and not-so-eligible but possibly cheating males in the city, and somehow you have information on Forest Redder but no verification to put it on the site.”
“What do you want me to do? No one is willing to write a status report or file a request for information on him.”
And that was the key. “Yet. But they will. We’ll get him.”
Jordan regretted the phrase as soon as she said it. Probably had something to do with the way the light in Elle’s eyes flared. Or the knowing smirk.
“Are you saying you want more information, maybe for a personal connection?” Suddenly Elle seemed to have no trouble giving her boss-slash-friend full-on eye contact.
“He’s not my type.” Not totally true, but Jordan hoped it would fly.
“Hot and sexy with bedroom skills to make a grown woman moan and beg for more is not your type?”
So, no flying. “I started the site because I wasn’t exactly finding that type of guy.”
“Burke Landow is an ass.”
Her most recent ex. Now, there was a subject guaranteed to suck the sexiness out of any conversation. It also had Jordan reaching for her glass again. “Oh, hell yeah. Agreed.”
“Most men don’t lie about being engaged. He’s not the only type of guy out there.”
Jordan shot Elle her best are-you-kidding-me frown. “I’m wondering if you’ve read over the Need to Know site lately.”
“It’s one of my favorite ways to spend an evening.”
“What about that professor? He had solid reports on the site for charm, but no word on sex. Can you fill in the blanks?” The lack of information on something so vital, the fact no member had made it past a few dinners with the guy, raised Jordan’s antenna. But Elle thought he was cute...never mind that’s how the truly weird ones lured you in.
“Yeah, there was nothing on sex.”
“You made it to date three, right? I would think that means you have better things to do at night than read.” When Elle had gone out on the first date, Jordan had felt a tiny kick of jealousy. She wanted to be attracted to the scholarly buttoned-up type, but she had the misfortune of loving a bad-boy streak.
Now, combine buttoned-up and naughty, and her control went on the fritz. She didn’t know how any sane woman walked by that type without giving a second look.
Of course, the seeds for her feelings on men were not a secret. She hadn’t spent time in therapy, but she knew. Not that she couldn’t use an expert now and then, but she feared after a few hours of talking about her upbringing she’d need a lifetime pass.
Her mother liked men. Liked men the way little kids liked cookies. To say mom overindulged would be an understatement. The way Jordan figured it, her front seat to her mom’s dating life should have made her prim or promiscuous. It was a miracle she didn’t head for either extreme.
“There will not be a fourth date with the professor.” Elle kept her head down and her focus on the stem of her wineglass.
No eye contact, cryptic—not good signs, so Jordan poked around a little. “Why?”
Elle smacked her lips together and made a strange sucking sound. “Shaved.”
Between the noise and the word Jordan decided she missed a sentence. Maybe more than one. “Excuse me?”
“He doesn’t have any body hair.”
“You’re saying—”
“None. I thought he didn’t have hair on his legs because he was a runner, like it was some athlete thing. But, nowhere.”
The visual image that flashed through Jordan made her a little dizzy in a forget-about-eating kind of way. Also made her wish for a temporary case of blindness. “Wait, you mean, not anywhere on his body? Like, really none.”
“Yep.”
And—boom—there was the weirdness thing.
But for some reason Jordan couldn’t let it go. “Legs, arms and—”
“Nothing around his dick, either.” Elle started nodding and didn’t stop. “He shaved or waxed his private parts. Head-to-toe smooth like a baby. Try to imagine that.”
Jordan doubted she’d be able to stop thinking about it. “So, he basically looked like a Ken doll?”
“With a tiny dick. Exactly.”
Figures. “How tiny?”
“I don’t want to talk about him anymore.”
Jordan understood that. She had a line of forgettable dates behind her, but at least they all had the normal amount of body hair. She never dreamed she’d have to worry about that. Now she would. “Well, congratulations. He tops the guy I dated who stole my underwear.”
“Since that guy took your bikini bottoms only and a pair at a time, then stored them in a baggie in his freezer, no you still win the Creepy Dude prize.”
Jordan had blocked the freezer part. Huh, it all came rushing back now. “He was one giant nut bag.”
“One of many.”
“You do realize the last three guys I dated can be described as the guy-who-only-talked-about-his-dog, the guy-who-stole-my-underwear and the guy-who-lied-about-being-single.” And how depressing was that list of potential mates? “Maybe I should spend a little more time reading the site before I say yes to a date.”
“Or maybe a few nights with someone like Forest ‘Hot Between The Sheets’ Redder is the answer to your troubles.”
No way was Jordan diving into that conversation. She decided to start a new one and hope Elle somehow uncharacteristically came along. “So, did you get all the new status-report information entered?”
“Are we done with this topic?”
“I’m not sure how we even started it.”
Elle nodded in the direction of Jordan’s lap. “Did your mom text today?”
Jordan scooped up her cell and entered the unlock code. The thing had buzzed three times during the commute home. Jordan tensed as she read the most recent text. The stiffness eased out of her shoulders when she realized this one was G-rated. “She’s going dancing and will text tomorrow with a report.”
“Lucky you.”
Not that Jordan had a choice but to hear the after-date tale. Her mom texted every day and overshared. This week the topic was a guy named Lin. He’d taken her to the Bahamas to relax, though why her mom needed rest was a mystery. She didn’t work, unless you counted hunting down new men to marry as a job, which her mom did.
Elle gripped the armrest now. “Back up a second.”
“I don’t want to think about the Ken doll, or my mom, or my mom with a Ken doll.” The last one made Jordan want to discontinue her phone service.
“Forest. You’re saying you’re never going to see him again?”
“Not unless I get a temp job in his office or otherwise need to confirm a report, which sounds like—with all his rules—can only happen with the approval of the Supreme Court.”
“Think of working with him as an opportunity for desk sex.” Elle smiled as she said it.
Jordan knew she’d have that on her brain all night now. “Back to work.”
“Did