entered the doctor’s office the next morning feeling as sick as she had the day before. The brief respite she’d found last night had not lingered for long. As soon as Tanner had left, she returned to bed and slept the night away.
She refused to think about Tanner’s kiss. They were no longer involved. He had made that very clear. And she had her move to Brussels to look forward to. As soon as she was well, she needed to begin getting her things packed, decide what to take and what to store at her parents’ place and begin winding up her own position in the home office in preparation to her new posting in Europe.
“Miss Larkin?” One of the nurses called her from the doorway.
She showed Anna into an exam room asking her how she felt. Anna told her she was there for anything that could mitigate the symptoms of flu.
“There’s not much,” the nurse said as she took Anna’s blood pressure. “Bed rest is about the best thing. Sometimes we can give medication that will ease the nausea and diarrhea to avoid dehydration. Do drink plenty of fluids.” She noted the blood pressure reading on the chart and glanced over it. “I see it’s been a while since you’ve been in to see the doctor.”
Anna nodded. “Normally I’m as healthy as an ox.” She wished she felt healthy this morning. She longed to get back to bed.
“The doctor will be only a few minutes. Why don’t you change into the gown while I tell him you’re here.”
Normally Anna liked seeing Dr. Orsinger. He was an old-fashioned general practitioner who took a friendly interest in his patients. When he breezed into the exam room, he asked how she had been aside from the flu, jotting notes as she talked. She took that opportunity to ask him if he knew of any special medical forms she would need in anticipation of her move to Europe. He asked about the new assignment, where she would be living and for how long she would be out of the States.
He drew routine blood work, reviewed her medical history to make sure she was up-to-date on tetanus. When he finished his exam he asked her to wait a little while so that he could go online to see if there were any health alerts for Europe of which she should be aware. She agreed. Changing back into her street clothes, Anna hoped the wait wouldn’t be long. She still felt shaky and tired. A short time later Dr. Orsinger returned. He looked at her oddly.
“No health crises in Europe, I hope,” she said.
He motioned for her to sit down and he leaned against the edge of the counter containing the sink.
“Did you suspect you’re pregnant?” he asked.
Anna stared at him, certain she had not heard correctly. He had been her doctor for years. He knew it was impossible for her to get pregnant.
“You know I cannot have children.” Her voice sounded calm. She’d long ago come to terms with her inability. Except for each time when her younger sister called to announce she was pregnant. The most recent call this weekend was the third time. That hurt.
Or when her best friend had her first baby two years ago.
So most of the time she’d come to terms with her inability.
He lifted the report the nurse had given him and read it again. “Anna, we can repeat the test, but I don’t think the report got mixed up.”
Anna stared at him in shocked disbelief. From the time she was sixteen years old she’d known she would never have children. The automobile accident she had been involved in had caused such great scarring both externally and internally. The external scars had faded over the years, but internally she was still messed up. Doctors had told her she would never conceive. Over the years, she’d grown used to the fact, even if she still railed against fate from time to time. She put on a good front when visiting home and seeing her sister’s children or her brother’s daughter. Just last weekend she had once again feigned happy recipient to the news her sister was pregnant again. Inside she’d screamed with the unfairness of life, but she let none of those feelings spill out. Even those who knew her best never had a clue how much she’d longed for a child.
It was a cruel stroke of fate that had ended that hope years ago. But she had her career.
Her career!
“I can’t be pregnant.” The room seemed to swirl around. She closed her eyes against the dizziness.
Tanner! Oh God. He would kill her when he found out. She had told him there was no danger of getting pregnant. He’d used a condom, it broke. She told him not to worry, she couldn’t have a baby. How could this happen?
The doctor was looking at her with compassion. “Actually I believe the prognosis was it would be highly unlikely for you ever to conceive. Obviously even doctors make mistakes.” He smiled at her. “I know this is a surprise, but a happy one, I hope.”
“I would like a second testing please.” She could not let her hopes be raised. The disappointment would be too great.
She had been in love in a college, had even been asked to marry her sweetheart—Jason Donalds. But when Jason found out she was unable to have children he’d ended their relationship so fast she hardly knew what hit her.
Since graduation, she had focused on her career to the exclusion of any long-lasting relationships. Her parents had urged her to be more open to men who were interested in her. Not every man wanted children. Adoption was an alternative if they did. But the trauma of losing Jason because she couldn’t have a baby was almost too much to overcome. She was not going to risk her heart that way again.
And somehow she could not blurt out at the first introduction, “Hi, I’m Anna and I am unable to have children, you still want to date?”
The thought that she could be pregnant after all these years, after all the tests, was unfathomable. It had only been one night.
Despite the prognosis, she had always practiced safe sex the few times she’d felt close enough to a man to take the step into the bedroom. Never in a hundred years would she have suspected she could get pregnant.
Tanner was going to be furious. When she told him. Or if.
The doctor complied with her request to conduct a second set of tests. It was late morning by the time he rejoined her to confirm his original diagnosis. He spent several minutes talking with her about prenatal care, what changes she could expect in her body as pregnancy progressed and what risks were present for a woman of her age to be pregnant for the first time. With the uterus scarring, it may prove impossible to carry the child to term. He wanted to monitor her closely as the pregnancy progressed. They set up weekly appointments.
For more than half her life Anna believed she could never conceive a child. To learn she had was hard to grasp. On the way home the reality gradually seeped in. By the time she reached her apartment she was cautiously thrilled. She knew there was no guarantee, but if she’d come this far after conceiving, surely she could deliver a full-term baby.
Hurrying to the phone she quickly dialed her mother’s number.
“Mom you need to sit down, I have some amazing news.”
Ginny Larkin quickly raised a question about Anna’s transfer.
“It’s not that. I’m pregnant!” Anna blurted out.
There was silence at the other end for a long moment. Then her mother asked, “How could that be?”
“It’s a miracle is how,” Anna said. “I didn’t believe it when the doctor told me, so I had him run the tests a second time. It’s true I am pregnant. Isn’t that the most amazing thing? After all these years, I’m going to have a baby!” Anna burst into tears. She felt no different from how she’d felt that morning, still feeling nausea, still tired beyond belief and a bit achy. But she didn’t have the flu; she had a baby beneath her heart.
The fabulousness was beyond belief. She wanted to share the miracle with the whole world, starting with her mother. But caution took hold. She needed to wait until she was used to the fact