on her left finger and surmised her life had blossomed in other ways, as well. Life without Livia had grown rather rosy for her. Adeline wished she could find a real family and have her very own happy ending.
“What if she did survive?” Claudia asked, looking back at Jeremy.
“Then I’d like to find her,” Jeremy said.
“And if she didn’t kill Tess?” Adeline had to ask.
“Then I’d still feel good about helping to bring her back to prison.”
Adeline wondered. He seemed hell-bent on proving Livia killed his wife, as though that would somehow heal the injustice of her death. Losing a loved one so abruptly couldn’t be easy, but she thought perhaps he dealt with other issues. Maybe he’d gone through the grieving process but still hadn’t gotten past Tess’s alcoholism.
“No one else has heard from her, either,” Claudia said. “Knox already asked everyone in the family. He said he was going to call and let you know. We’ll see if there’s any indication Livia still has deputies on her payroll, too.”
“Thanks.”
“And we’ll let you know if we do hear from her or find out she’s lurking somewhere.”
Hiding out. Jeremy had a powerful sense that’s exactly what she was doing. Laying low somewhere.
The bartender appeared from the kitchen carrying a bag. As he put it on the counter, Adeline smelled the food and her stomach growled.
Claudia paid for her order and then stood with the bag. “I’d stay and chat, but Hawk is waiting for me.”
“Good seeing you again.” Jeremy stepped back and out of her way.
“Nice meeting you,” Claudia said to Adeline. “We should get together sometime.” She held up the bag of food. “Maybe dinner?”
“We’d love that,” Adeline said, feeling Jeremy’s head jerk her way as though her ready and eager response had surprised him.
Maybe she’d even surprised herself. Meeting up with Claudia and Hawk seemed like a good idea, maybe because Claudia seemed so nice. Adeline liked real people like her. She sensed no pretense from the woman, only genuine friendliness.
When Claudia disappeared from view, she glanced at Jeremy. Why did they remain standing there? Claudia’s air had left them in the wake of her loveliness.
“Why don’t we stay for dinner?” Jeremy asked. They’d found a sitter for Jamie, who wouldn’t expect them until later.
“I haven’t had Italian in a long time. Sure.” She was starving anyway.
They approached the hostess, who led them to a cozy, white-linen-covered table nestled in a corner booth. This began to have a romantic feel. Adeline sat across from Jeremy and put her attention to the menu. The grilled salmon had smelled wonderful but she had a hunger for more traditional Italian fare tonight.
The waiter brought warm bread and Jeremy ordered a bottle of white wine that would go well with her chicken marsala.
“I think Jamie is improving with you in the house,” Jeremy said.
He’d ascertained that so soon? “Really? How so?”
“He’s having pancakes for the first time since Tess died. I tell him things about his mother so he grows up with a sense of who she was. She used to love pancakes.”
Adeline had made pancakes for breakfast this morning. She also loved them and felt odd that Tess also had. Even more, she felt odd that Jeremy had called Tess Jamie’s mother.
“He perked right up when he smelled them. Didn’t you notice how happy he was?”
Yes, she had. Sometimes she just stared at his adorable face. She wanted to permanently imprint the images in her brain.
“I thought he must be like that all the time.” She buried the spark of good feeling and the desire to remember Jamie’s cuteness. Memories like that would become painful if she couldn’t be with him as his real mother.
“No. He’s been quiet and unsocial. I’ve been thinking about taking him to therapy, but now I don’t think I need to anymore.”
He thought she was therapeutic? And did she really have that much of an effect on Jamie? More of those good feelings surged up. If Jamie responded so positively, he must sense—even subconsciously—that she was someone close. Or maybe the way she treated him gave him that message. He was her son and she loved him. He must feel that love.
Should she be alarmed? She neither wanted to lead him to believe she’d be around nor allow herself to become too accustomed to being with him. In the end, if she had to give him up again, she’d go through agony, more than she had when she’d given birth to him.
She caught him watching her and saw his awkward glance away. He’d made the comment but now must wish he hadn’t. Her having such a positive influence on his son suggested she might be a good addition to his recently reduced family. That presented a contemplation too serious for the near future.
The waiter delivered the wine and poured them each a glass. Adeline relaxed back against her chair and enjoyed a slow sip along with a break in conversation.
“Why haven’t you had any kids of your own?” he asked.
So much for avoiding this kind of talk. Had he recovered so quickly from his last observation? Why did he ask that? Putting her glass down, she said, “I...don’t really want kids.” That wasn’t entirely true.
“Really? Why not?”
She couldn’t say that giving up Jamie had been too painful to consider having another. She’d feel as though she were trying to replace him. Did they have to talk about such a sensitive topic?
“I want to focus on my career.”
“But you seem like such a natural with Jamie.”
“Well... I did give birth to him.”
That drew a smile from him and he didn’t comment further.
“Why haven’t you seen any other women?” she asked. She’d been curious of that for a while now. “It’s been a long time since Tess died.”
His smile vanished and he put his glass of wine down. He rested his hands on the table and looked at her as though thinking how best to respond. She doubted he did anything without doing that, without thinking things through. That’s probably how he’d become so successful.
“I guess I didn’t want to see any other women,” he said at last. “I loved Tess, and to have that taken away so abruptly, so unexpectedly, changes a person.”
She could certainly see that. She also felt a little disconcerted, being attracted to him and hearing him profess his love for his wife. Competing with the memory of another woman didn’t seem wise.
“Are you afraid to give love a second chance?” she asked.
“I’m not sure I’d call it fear. I don’t have any desire to feel like that again.”
“Love?”
“No, the pain of losing the love.”
She lowered her eyes, no longer able to meet his, and fingered her silverware. Could she say she’d been in love? She’d thought she had been, once. Then he had shown his true self and she couldn’t possibly have loved that person. She’d loved the man he’d presented to her, though, a kind, mild-tempered man.
In Jeremy’s case, she had some reservations that perhaps what he experienced might be magnified by the way he’d lost Tess, so suddenly and with a young child. Did he really love Tess that much? If so, she wanted no part in competing with that.
“I have to admit,” Jeremy went on, surprising Adeline, “I held back with Tess because I knew she was a recovering