Not that it was love, she reminded herself sharply.
“I’m sure I can find a pharmacy with the over-the-counter variety.” Jager was all efficiency. “I’ll get you settled and make a trip to the store.”
“Thank you.” She would still want to talk to her doctor. Double-check the side effects given her medical history. But she wasn’t sure how much to disclose about that right now with her thoughts churning.
“The guest room is closest,” he told her, tucking her under one strong arm as he opened the double doors of his office and steered her into the hallway.
Of course she knew the guest room was closest. She’d been in this house every day for two years. Would she lose her job now if she was carrying his child? Or even if she wasn’t? Only pride kept her from blurting out how much she needed this job.
When they arrived in the downstairs guest suite, Jager locked the door behind him and she scurried toward the bathroom.
“Delia.” His voice halted her just before she shut the door behind her.
Peeking out through a crack—not that it mattered since he’d already seen her very naked—she waited to see what he wanted. And wished she saw some hint of warmth in his eyes to reassure her.
“I believe emergency contraception has a high rate of effectiveness. But based on where you are in your cycle, how strong of a chance would there be that this would have—” He hesitated, and she wondered if this was rattling him more than he let on. But he blinked, and any hint of uncertainty vanished. “Resulted in pregnancy?”
“Based solely on my cycle?” She had no idea if she was a fertile woman. But if so? “We would want to come up with a contingency plan when I get out of the shower.”
* * *
Delia felt marginally calmer when she emerged from the bathroom in a pair of navy cotton shorts and a tee with McNeill Meadows printed on one pocket—promotional items given away to school groups who visited the community garden. She’d found a stack of clean items still in the packaging in the back of the guest bathroom’s linen closet. Indulging herself, she’d helped herself to two tees to make up for the fact that her bra still lay on the floor of Jager’s office.
She used a hand towel to dry her hair a bit more as she padded across the thick Persian carpet toward the king-size bed with its pristine white duvet. This bedroom overlooked the gardens, its deep balcony almost as large as the room itself. The sliding glass pocket doors were open now, and she followed the floral-scented breeze to where Jager sat on a padded chaise longue, looking out at the lit paths of the rock garden. The table nearby was set for two, a hurricane lamp glowing between the place settings of all white dishes. New serving platters undoubtedly held an entirely new meal. Sandwiches, maybe. Or fruit and cheese. Not even the McNeills’ talented chef could turn out five-star cuisine on an hourly basis.
The travertine tiles were cold on her bare feet as she padded outside to join Jager. He turned when she’d almost reached him, then stood.
“Would you be more comfortable in your own clothes?” he asked. “I brought them from the office and put your things in the closet.”
She winced to think of her wrinkled dress neatly hung in one of the gargantuan closets. “No, thank you. I’ve always liked these McNeill Meadows tees. I chose them last year for when school groups visit. At long last, I’ll have my own.”
“You wear it well.” His blue gaze slid over her and she felt it as keenly as any touch. “I had some food brought up in case you’re hungry. I wasn’t much of a host the first time around.”
Her stomach rumbled an answer at the same time she nodded. Needing to stay cool and levelheaded, she focused on slow, calming breaths. She draped the damp hand towel over one of the stone railings surrounding the balcony, then let him lead her to the table. The outdoor carpet was warm against her bare toes. He held out a chair for her and she sank into the wide seat. Once he tucked her chair in, he opened the platters, offering her each so she could help herself to a selection of fruits, cheeses and warm baguettes. Jager poured them both glasses of sparkling water over ice and lemons, then sat in the seat beside her. The hurricane lamp sent gold light flickering over the table while night birds called in the trees just off the balcony.
To a bystander, it would look like the perfect romantic setting. She guessed romance couldn’t be further from either of their minds.
“Based on your comment going into the shower earlier, I thought it would be wise to discuss a plan for the future. Just in case.” He slid a paper bag across the table. “Although I was able to obtain the contraception option we discussed.”
She eyed the bag dubiously, but took it after a moment. “I’d like to check with my own doctor in the morning, but if he gives me the okay, I’ll take it then.”
“That sounds fair.” He nodded.
“Thank you.” She congratulated herself on her calm tone that belied the wild knot of fears in her belly. She focused on her wedge of brie, spreading the cheese on a thin slice of baguette.
Jager laid a hand on her knee, an intimacy she hadn’t expected after how quickly he’d pulled away following the encounter in his office. It felt good. Too good. She couldn’t allow herself to fall for him. One moment of passionate madness was one too many when she needed this job and the good will of the McNeills to help keep the Rickard home and land.
“Let me begin by assuring you that I would never abandon my child.” Jager spoke with a fierceness that gave her pause. “My father taught me well the damage a parent inflicts with his absence.”
The candle flame leaped and the glow was reflected in his eyes. She wasn’t sure how to interpret his words, however.
“Neither would I,” she told him evenly. Family loyalty meant everything to her. Her father had raised her by himself, on the most meager means, after losing his wife in childbirth.
Some of the intensity faded from Jager’s expression. He lifted his hand from her knee and sipped his water before replacing the glass on the white linen tablecloth.
“Then we’ll have to stick together if tonight has consequences,” Jager observed. “In the meantime, I think I should fly out as soon as possible to begin the search for my brother. I want to find Damon so I can return here next month or in six weeks, whenever you think we might learn one way or another about a possible pregnancy.”
Her knife clattered to her plate as she lost her grip. She fumbled to retrieve it, but couldn’t hide her dismay at his quick abandonment. “I have set a new record for chasing a man out of my bed.” Resentment stirred. “I can email you the test results, if it comes down to that.”
“Delia.” He set down his own cutlery to reach across the table, his hand circling one of her wrists. “It never occurred to me you might want to travel with me, but I can arrange for that. Our chemistry is undeniable.”
Defensiveness prickled. She wasn’t planning to be his mistress.
“What about my job? I need the work, Jager. My father relies on my income. That’s why I asked about the raise before things got...complicated.”
“I had already planned to ask Gabe to supervise your work from now on. To eliminate any conflict of interest for me. But in light of what’s happened—”
“You already had a plan in place to have an affair and didn’t tell me?” She wondered when he’d decided that. Or when he would have clued her in to the fact. It might have put her more at ease about being with him.
Then again, what did it say about the beginnings of a relationship between them when he made all the decisions?
“I wanted to be with you, Delia.” His jaw flexed as he spoke and she had a memory of kissing him there. “I knew it in the water today that we weren’t going to be able to continue a productive working relationship with so much tension between us.”
She