can’t afford to live in it now and, anyway, it’s totally unsuitable for a baby. I’ve got in tenants and they’re just covering the mortgage payments, so Noah and I are living in a little studio, but frankly it’s a struggle even to pay the rent on that at the moment.’
‘You could sell the flat that you own. If it’s as smart as you say it is, it ought to realise you some capital.’ Lewis was obviously of a practical turn of mind. Not that surprising in an engineer, now Martha came to think of it.
‘I probably will,’ she said, ‘but I don’t want to make any decision until I’ve seen Rory. I can’t really think about what to do until I’ve done that. I just have the feeling that once I know how he’s going to react everything else will fall into place, so getting to St Bonaventure is a priority for me.’
She met Lewis’s cool gaze steadily. ‘That’s why, when Gill told me that you were going there and needed a nanny, it seemed so perfect.’
‘For you maybe,’ he said with a cynical look. ‘I’m not sure what’s in it for me if you’re going to slope off in search of marine biologists the moment you arrive.’
‘There’d be no question of sloping off, as you call it.’ Martha took a deep breath and forced herself to stay calm. ‘I assume that you would provide a proper contract for six months, and I would certainly abide by it. That would give me plenty of time to find Rory, introduce him to Noah and get him used to the idea of having a son, and he wouldn’t feel rushed into making a decision. If at the end of that time he wanted us to stay, fine. If not, we would just come back with you and Viola. At least I would have done everything I could to make contact between Noah and his father.’
Viola was getting bored. She started to squirm and Martha lifted her on to her knee, distracting her with another toy from her bag. Satisfied, Viola dropped the rabbit that she had been sucking and grabbed the rubber ring instead.
This left the rabbit free to be handed quickly to Noah, whose little mouth was turning ominously down as he watched his mother giving his rival all the attention. He accepted the rabbit, but very much with the air of one who was prepared to be diverted for now, but would be returning to the main point at issue before long.
Lewis watched Martha juggling the two babies and his brows drew together. ‘It’s just not practicable for you to be a nanny,’ he said brusquely. ‘You can’t manage two at once.’
‘Why not? Neither of them are crying, are they?’ asked Martha, praying that Viola and Noah would stay quiet a little while longer.
‘Not yet,’ said Lewis. ‘Jiggling them on your knee and giving them toys is all very well for five minutes, but what happens when both of them are screaming and need to be fed?’
‘Mothers with twins manage.’
‘Maybe they’re used to it.’
‘I’d get used to it too,’ she said defiantly, but Lewis only scowled.
‘Look at you,’ he said, feeling cross and disgruntled without being sure why. It was something to do with the way she sat there and looked at him with those dark eyes. Something to do with the straightness of her back and the determined tilt of her chin.
‘You look as if you haven’t slept for a year,’ he said roughly. ‘I’m surprised you can cope with one baby, let alone think about looking after two.’
She looked as if she could do with six months in the sun, fattening herself up and catching up on sleep, he thought, and then caught himself. Martha Shaw wasn’t his responsibility. It wasn’t his fault she was tired. She had chosen to have a baby on her own, and it was too late to complain that it was tiring now.
Although she hadn’t actually complained at all, had she? Lewis pushed the thought brusquely away. No, it was out of the question.
‘I don’t want to find myself looking after you and Noah as well as Viola,’ he told her.
Martha wasn’t ready to give up yet. ‘I’m tougher than I look,’ she said. ‘I’ve been looking after a baby for the past eight months and I think I’ve probably got a better idea than you of what’s involved,’ she added, with just a squeeze of acid in her voice. ‘I’m sure I would be able to cope.’
It went against the grain to plead with Lewis Mansfield, but if she had to she would. ‘Please take me with you. I’d love Viola and look after her as if she really was Noah’s twin.’ She hesitated. How could she make him see how perfectly their needs matched? ‘I think we’re made for each other,’ she said.
Wrong thing to say. One of Lewis’s eyebrows shot up and, hearing her own words, Martha could have bitten her tongue out. And then she had to go and make matters worse by actually blushing!
‘You know what I mean,’ she muttered.
‘I know what you mean,’ Lewis agreed dryly as he got to his feet again. Really, the man was as restless as a cat. He took another turn around the room, his shoulders hunched in a way that was already oddly familiar.
‘I should tell you that I only agreed to see you as a favour to Gill,’ he said brusquely at last. ‘Oddly enough, she was very insistent that you were just what I needed too.’
‘I think I could be,’ said Martha, determined not to repeat her mistake and forcing herself to sound suitably cool, as if the idea that they might be made for each other as lovers had never even crossed her mind.
Lewis wasn’t so sure. He couldn’t help thinking about what it would be like to share a house with her, to spend the next six months with those dark eyes and that mouth. It would be too distracting, too unsettling, too…too everything.
And she was totally unsuitable as a nanny anyway, he reminded himself. There was no way he was going to risk it.
‘Perhaps I should have told Gill that I was seeing someone else as well,’ he said, pushing away the thought of living with Martha for six months. ‘The agency that supplied Viola’s current nanny sent along someone this morning and I have to say that she seemed very suitable. Eve is a trained nanny, and she is obviously very…’
Dull was the word that leapt to mind. Lewis forced it down.
‘…very efficient,’ he said instead.
‘Babies don’t need efficiency,’ said Martha before she could help herself. ‘They need love and warmth and routine.’
‘Eve comes with very good references so I’m sure she understands exactly what babies need,’ said Lewis austerely. ‘She’s…’
Dull, insisted that wayward voice inside him.
‘…a sensible girl…’
Dull.
‘…and she doesn’t have any other commitments…’
Dull.
‘…so she can concentrate on Viola in a way that you wouldn’t be able to,’ he went on with an edge of desperation.
Yes, but she’s dull.
‘I need to bear in mind too that I’ll be sharing a house with Viola’s nanny for six months, so it’s important to give the job to someone compatible. Eve seems a quiet, level-headed…’
Dull.
‘…reliable person, and I’m sure she’ll adapt to the routine out there very quickly.’
Yes, and she’ll be very, very dull.
But she wouldn’t have dark, disturbing eyes and she wouldn’t put him on edge just by sitting there the way Martha did. It would be much better that way.
Dull, but better.
‘I see.’ Martha got to her feet and handed Lewis his niece, who glared at him.
I’m with you, Viola, thought Martha wryly.
‘In that case,