he was saying those words out loud. After his engagement with Christine had ended, he’d told himself that he wasn’t going through all that again. The joy and high of love weren’t worth the inevitable crash and destruction at the end. He’d shelved the idea of anything more complicated than sex and focused on his work. Business came a lot easier to him than romance.
That meant that any idea of marriage or family had been put to bed, as well. He’d been okay with that. How were a wife and a family even possible when he was jetting from one place to another and working long hours? He had five siblings to carry on the family name and give his parents the grandchildren they craved. No one would miss his genetic contribution to the world.
And yet, faced with the eventuality of a family, he found the idea didn’t bother him as much as he thought it would. The image of a rambunctious toddler with wild red curls running through the coffee shop formed in his mind. It was so real, he could almost reach out and snatch the giggling child up into his arms. He suddenly wanted that, down to the depths of his soul. When Amelia had told him, he’d been startled, of course, but now he knew what had to be done.
Tyler had been given the chance to have the family he hadn’t realized he wanted, and perhaps he could keep his heart from being destroyed a second time. He was having a child with his best friend. That child needed a stable, loving home, and he and Amelia could provide that. Why would they divorce now?
Amelia’s gaze fixed on his. “What about the baby?” she asked. “You know I’m not the kind of woman that would insist on getting married to someone I didn’t love just because I got pregnant. Why would I insist on staying married to someone I didn’t love just because I got pregnant?”
Tyler tried not to be offended. This wasn’t about him, and he knew that. And he knew that she loved him. She just wasn’t in love with him. He wasn’t in love with her, either. But they could make this work. They had affection, mutual respect and history. Some shotgun marriages started with less. “I know that our marriage and our child are not what you have down in your big notebook of life plans. But don’t you think it’s at least worth giving our relationship a try, for our baby’s sake?”
“Why can’t we just be friends with a baby? We can raise it together. If you’re in Nashville, it makes things easier, but we can do it. We don’t have to be married to have this baby. We don’t have to pretend that our wedding night meant more than it did just because I got pregnant.”
She made it sound as though they’d just had a random hookup. It might not have been love, but it certainly ranked higher in importance than picking up some girl at the bar and taking her home. It had been an amazing night, one that had haunted him the past few weeks as he’d traveled the globe.
As much as they might want to forget it, they’d made love. And it had meant something. He wasn’t sure exactly what, but he knew he didn’t want to just be friends with a baby. He wanted the benefits, too.
“Okay, fine. Let’s set the issue of the baby aside for a moment. I just want us to sit down and seriously talk all this through. It’s too important to make a rash decision.”
“You mean like eloping in Vegas in the middle of the night?” she snapped.
“Another rash decision,” he corrected. “Let’s not compound the issue. We have time to figure this out, so let’s do it right. What’s so horrible about the idea of us staying together?”
“I know that the concept of failure is something you’re not comfortable with, but I don’t think you understand what you’re asking of me. Of us. This is about a hell of a lot more than just creating a happy home for our baby. You’re asking me to choose you as the man I want to be with for the rest of my life and potentially compromise my ability to find my real soul mate. I love you, Tyler, but we’re not in love. There’s a difference.”
Tyler couldn’t help flinching with the sting of her sharp words this time. He was asking her to settle for him. He hadn’t thought of it that way, but when she said it like that, it was painfully obvious that he didn’t meet her sky-high standards. That was okay, though. He was used to being the underdog in any fight; he actually preferred it. That was just a detail. His parents had struggled his whole life, but they’d always put their kids’ needs first. Not loving Amelia wasn’t a good enough reason for him not to make the sacrifice and provide a stable home for their child. “People have married for reasons other than love for hundreds of years and it’s worked out fine.”
“Well, I don’t want to be one of those people. I want love and romance. I want a husband who comes home every night and holds me in his arms, not one that texts me every other day from his latest hotel room.”
Tyler sighed and took a sip of his coffee. This was bringing back uncomfortable memories of his last fight with Christine. Nothing he did was ever good enough for her. She’d wanted him to be successful and make lots of money, but she’d also placed all these demands on his time. He couldn’t win, at least not playing by her rules. Maybe with Amelia it could be different. If they both made the effort, he was certain they could find something that worked for them. If that meant she had to fall in love with him, he would work to make that happen.
Staring into the polished wood of the coffee table, he asked, “Do you think loving me is a total impossibility?”
She scoffed. “That’s a ridiculous question, Tyler.”
His head snapped back to look at her. “No, it’s not. Tell me—do you find me physically repulsive?”
“Of course not. You’re very handsome, obviously, or we wouldn’t have made this baby to begin with.”
“Okay. Am I obnoxious? Pretentious? A jerk?”
Amelia sighed and leaned back against the cushions. “No. You’re none of those things. You’re wonderful.”
Sometimes Tyler didn’t understand women. And Amelia in particular. But he’d decided they were staying together for this baby. If he knew nothing else, he knew how to sell something. He was going to market himself like one of his finest gemstones until she couldn’t resist saying yes.
“So I’m good-looking. I own my own business and make good money. I’m fun to be around. You’ve trusted me with all your secrets. You enjoy spending time with me. The sex was pretty awesome, if I may say so myself... I must be missing something, Amelia. Is there a crimson F stitched to the front of my shirt, because you refuse to see me as anything but a friend? If there was another person on the planet exactly like me, you’d date him.”
Amelia frowned. “You’re talking nonsense.”
“No, I’m not. Tell me your top five must-haves for a man you could love. Seriously.” He knew the list was probably closer to a hundred must-haves. After each of her relationships ended, she’d add a new thing or two to the list.
She thought about it for a moment, holding up one hand to count off on her fingers. “Smart, a good sense of humor, compassionate, ambitious and honest.”
He twisted his lips in irritation. If he’d asked her to name the five things she liked best about him, she might have recited the same list. “And what on that list do I not have? I’m all of those things and more.”
“Maybe, but you’re not around. I’m not going to sit at home alone with this baby while you hopscotch around the planet.”
“What if I said I could be better about that? Maybe having a wife and a family will give me something to come home to.”
“We’re still not in love,” she argued.
“Love is overrated. Look what it got Christine and me—a bunch of heartbreak. I’m not saying it will work. We might end up being totally incompatible, and if we are, we end it and you can go back to your quest for the White Buffalo. But why can’t we at least try? Pandora’s box is open. There’s no going back to where we were.”
She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know, Tyler. I can’t...lose