there it was. It was one of Scout’s least attractive traits. When she was angry, truly angry, her voice would rise five octaves until she sounded, as her sister Lane so accurately described it, like a howler monkey.
“Let. Me,” she screeched again.
“Scout, calm down.”
“You don’t get to let me do anything. Am I or am I not a member of the New England Rebels scouting team?”
She was. The decision had been made by the Rebels prior to Duff’s death. Scout was to take a sabbatical to care for her dying father, but when she was ready to return she would go back to her old job of scouting, reporting directly to Greg.
He really couldn’t stop her from working if that was what she wanted.
“I’m broken and that’s all there is.”
Finally, she’d said it, Jayson thought. As if she was never not going to be broken.
That’s why I brought you here, son. You’ve got to fix her.
Jayson shook his head. He hated when that happened. When his subconscious called up these sentences, which sounded in his head as if Duff were talking directly to him. Which of course was ridiculous because he was dead.
Jayson’s very Catholic mother would have said it was Duff talking to him from heaven.
Either way it mostly scared the crap out of him.
“Answer me!”
Yep. Full-on howler monkey.
“You are.”
“Then I get to determine when I go back to work, and I say I’m ready to go back now. I’m going to call Greg and let him know myself.”
“Fine. Then why did you even come down here? You obviously weren’t asking for my opinion.”
“Because...”
He took some satisfaction in that. She’d come down to tell him because she did want his blessing. Maybe his support, too. She couldn’t help herself.
In the months leading up to Duff’s death, he and Scout had basically called a time-out on their own personal drama. Neither really had the energy to deal with what they’d once meant to each other and the anger that was still there on both sides four years later. He’d been this quiet presence in her life and she’d let him be there.
In the past two weeks, though, it seemed like that temporary freeze was beginning to thaw. Scout was getting pricklier and more defensive. For his part, that tightrope was getting harder and harder to walk.
They gravitated toward each other. They couldn’t seem to help it. He went to her house, she came to his. Sometimes to cry, sometimes to talk.
Never to touch. Touching was clearly forbidden.
Jayson knew why she’d really come to the stadium. She couldn’t help herself and it made him feel he wasn’t alone in his suffering.
Gravity. It was a hell of thing.
“I didn’t think about it... I just figured I would let you know,” she said softly as if realizing there was no legitimate reason to tell him about her decision to return to work. “I’ll call Greg.”
Again Jayson felt this heavy throb of pain. He couldn’t let her do this, but he wasn’t going to be able to stop her, either.
“Hey, can I tag along with you on your first few outings? I’ll make sure you’re doing the necessary things like eating and sleeping and at the same time I can keep myself busy. You know I hate this period.”
She smiled. “Some people look forward to a little downtime in the off-season.”
“I’m not one of them.”
She paused for a second, as if considering her options, but then she nodded. “It might be good to have company. I get a little crazy in my head when I’m by myself. Probably the only reason I haven’t kicked out Mom and Bob. Bob! Can you believe it? Him staying in Duff’s house of all places.”
“He’s not a bad guy,” Jayson told her. “Did you know he was with your mom before she met Duff? He was actually a navy SEAL. He was being sent off to some hotspot for an undisclosed duration. He didn’t want your mom to wait so he decided to break up with her before he left.”
Scout just stared at him. “Who told you that?”
She probably wasn’t going to like this either, but it was time Jayson stopped hiding that he disagreed with Scout’s decision to shun her mother. Family was family and she needed all of hers. That Alice had managed to get her foot in the door at Scout’s house and keep it there meant maybe Scout somehow was aware of it, too.
“I was talking to him after the funeral. Your mom, too, for that matter. You two are a lot alike.”
“We are not! She’s a cheater and I can’t believe you would take their side.”
“There are no sides here, Scout.”
“Yes, there are. Theirs and mine. You get that better than anyone and now you are choosing their side. Great, just great!”
He could see the tears in her eyes and the hysteria building. In two steps he was in front of her, his hands around her upper arms, shaking her a little and forcing her to look at him.
“Scout, I’m here for you. For you. And I’m not going anywhere. Got it?”
She looked right into his eyes in a way that always made his insides tighten. As if she was seeing straight through him.
“Until you leave me again. Yeah,” she said pulling away from him. “I got it.”
There it was. The final second of their time-out just ticked on the clock.
The past was back.
Which meant so was the pain.
Five years ago...
SCOUT WAS STILL trying to process the fact that Jayson LeBec’s tongue was in her mouth. Man, he tasted good. Like sparkling water that bubbled as she drank it and made her whole body want to squirm.
The wedding of the owner of the Minotaurs, Jocelyn Taft, and the town’s head sports writer—only sports writer, really—Pete Wright, was still going strong, but Scout and Jayson had decided there were other things they would rather be doing.
This night had been perfect, Scout thought. Executed one hundred percent according to plan. She’d had a crush on Jayson since the day he showed up in Minotaur Falls after her father asked him to come join the team.
Maybe before that...when she saw him as a player run smack-dab into a brick wall just to catch a fly ball. That act had captured Duff’s attention certainly. He believed that someone who loved baseball so much, even if his playing career was over, should still be part of the game.
Scout was tasked with teaching Jayson everything she knew, starting with assessing the talent. The two began doing some scouting for the Rebels, and Scout knew from the moment they’d shared a three-hour car ride talking easily the whole way that Jayson was going to be someone special.
Scout had never been able to talk to boys when she was a young girl. She couldn’t really talk to men now that she was a woman.
But Jayson was different.
Which was why this wedding had been the perfect opportunity to ask him out without really asking him out. If he didn’t like her, she could say she had asked him as a friend. If he did like her...
Well, then the world would be a perfect place.
In traditional Scout fashion she hadn’t been subtle about her interest. The nerves of being with him while he was looking so handsome, when she’d done everything she could to look as good as she could, finally caught up with her.