deliberately cruel. She might have been the same way had their situation been reversed. After all, she’d done him a great disservice. Not only had she ruined their friendship, but she’d also let him think she might be able to love him. “Please don’t be like that,” she began. “You and I were always friends before we were anything else. I hate that we’ve lost that.”
The bartender brought over another beer for Seth and asked what she’d like. She ordered a glass of chardonnay and waited until the man had walked away before continuing. “One of the things I’ll always be grateful for is how you were my rock when I fell apart after my parents were killed. Seth, you saved me. I’ll never be able to repay that. But…”
“But I fell in love with you,” he said, finishing for her. “And you didn’t feel the same way.”
Was it wrong to feel relieved that she didn’t have to spell it out? Sighing softly, she murmured, “Exactly.”
“Then why did you accept my proposal?” He searched her face. “I can understand everything else but that. Why would you agree to marry me if you didn’t love me?”
Her gut twisted. Not so easy after all. “I didn’t want to hurt you,” she explained, aware she might be making a mess of this. “And to be honest, I found myself clinging to…” Aghast at what she’d almost said, she stopped, searching for another way to explain she’d chosen what had seemed safe and familiar, and that she’d been briefly afraid of being on her own.
“I get it,” Seth interjected, once again inadvertently rescuing her. “To tell the truth, I think I knew all along that you didn’t feel the same way I did. I just wanted…” He took a deep breath. “More.”
She nodded, aware that acknowledging the pain in his voice might be worse than pretending not to hear it. “I’m sorry, Seth. That’s what I came up here to say. I don’t think I can love anyone right now with my life in such an uproar. You deserved more. We both do. When you wouldn’t take my calls, I felt like I needed to explain in person. Maybe understanding why will help you move on.”
“I’ve already moved on,” he informed her.
Her wine arrived. Grateful, she smiled at the bartender before taking a sip. “Perfect,” she said. “Thank you.”
“No problem.” The man moved away. When she looked across the booth, she saw that Seth watched her intently, his eyes narrowed into slits. Again, she felt a shiver of unease, which was ridiculous. Emotions had been high that day. Enough time had passed and she knew Seth would be calmer now.
After all, he’d never raised a hand to her.
Still, she suddenly realized she wanted out of there, away from him. She’d done what she’d come to do and now maybe they both could have closure. Digging in her purse, she extracted a ten-dollar bill and laid it on the table next to her still-full glass of wine before rising to her feet. “Thanks for listening,” she said, hoping her smile looked more genuine than it felt. “I’m going to head out now. It was great seeing you.”
“Wait.” He stood as well. “Please don’t run off, Vanessa. I accept your apology.” He pushed out a breath from both cheeks. “I’m really hoping we can still be friends.” He pinned her with his gaze, his hazel-green eyes earnest. “Can we? We have a long history of friendship. I’d hate to lose that.”
How could she resist? After all, that’s what she’d wanted. She’d missed their friendship. Slowly she lowered herself back into her seat. “I’d like that,” she said, wondering if it was really relief she felt, or more gratitude that he truly seemed to be over her.
“Great.” He pushed her wineglass toward her. “Enjoy your wine. It’s been a while since we talked. I’m sure we have a lot to catch up on.”
Instead, they ended up discussing only generalities, like a couple of strangers on a first date. The closing of her favorite Irish bar in Boulder, the skiing up at Sunlight Mountain near Glenwood Springs…
“Have you skied Pine Peak yet?” Seth asked. “I like it a lot better than Sunlight. It’s got some great black-diamond runs. Of course, I’m prejudiced since I live and work here.”
She thought of her skis, still strapped to the roof of her car. “Not yet. I was hoping to do that while I was up here.” Taking a sip of her wine, she shrugged. “Maybe another time.”
“How about tomorrow?” He grinned at her over the rim of his beer mug. “It’s best first thing in the morning, right when the lift opens. I like to go before work. Come with me?”
“I’m tempted,” she admitted. “But like I said, there’s not an available room in this town. Believe me, I’ve checked.”
“I told you, you can stay with me.” He held up a hand as she started to protest. “I have a guest room. You can stay there. Completely platonic. Please, I insist. There’s nothing I’d like better than skiing with you again.”
Maybe because she really, really wanted to ski Pine Peak, or perhaps because she felt like she owed him at least that much, she found herself acquiescing. “Just for one night.”
“Sure.” He raised his nearly empty mug. “I’ll have another to celebrate.”
Her stomach growled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten since breakfast. “How about some dinner instead?”
Remy had just climbed into bed and shut off the lights when his cell phone rang, startling him. Sitting up, he glanced at the digital clock on his nightstand—eleven thirty. Damn it. A call at this time of night was never a good thing.
“Hello?”
“Remy, this is Liam Kastor. Did I wake you?”
Instantly alert, Remy explained he’d been awake. Since Liam was a detective with the Roaring Springs Police Department, he suspected this call involved something his younger brother had done. It certainly wouldn’t be the first time.
“It’s Seth,” Liam continued, confirming Remy’s suspicions. “We got a call earlier from The Saloon. The bartender, Gary, said Seth had been there drinking all evening and got belligerent when they cut him off. I headed down there to check it out, but by the time I arrived, he was gone.”
“Driving?” Remy asked, horrified.
“No, thank goodness. His car is still parked in the lot. Either someone gave him a ride or he left on foot. Since it’s snowing pretty heavily outside, I sent out a couple of patrols looking for him. Being drunk out in freezing temperatures is never a good combination. There’s no sign of him, at least downtown.”
Remy swore. “I’ll go look for him. Thank you for calling me.”
After ending the call, he immediately dialed his brother’s cell. After several rings, it went to voicemail. Remy left a quick, terse message asking Seth to call him.
Now he had no other option than to go out and search.
He threw on warm clothes, then snagged his coat and gloves and headed out into the frigid cold. In the time since he’d been home, several inches of perfect powder had accumulated. The plow would be by in the morning, but this kind of snow was easy to drive on.
He retraced the route Seth might have walked if he’d decided to head home to his condo from The Saloon. Since it was only a few blocks, it was definitely doable, at least when sober.
When Remy reached the trendy apartment building without seeing any trace of his brother, he parked and considered what to do next. First, he punched redial, hoping against hope that Seth would pick up. When he got voicemail again, he sighed and shut off his engine.
Inside, he rode the elevator up to the third floor and trudged down the hall until he reached Seth’s condo. Glancing at his watch and seeing that it was nearly midnight, he winced but