She had lived to regret her decision because she’d received no further offers in the intervening years and Alex had not returned to Devonshire since. The only time she saw him was in London during the Season each year and now she accepted he would never see her as anything other than his old playmate. Now, she would willingly marry. She longed to have her own household to run and to escape Stepmama and her constant barrage of criticism. But that would never be with Sir Denzil Pikeford. In his late thirties, he drank too much, his teeth were rotting, his manners were appalling and his conversation consisted mainly of boasting of his hunting exploits.
Even Stepmama was preferable to a lifetime with that.
The carriage drew to a halt. Jane looked up at the honeyed stone walls of the old Abbey… It had been like a second home to her throughout her childhood and the memories flooded back…happy childhood memories…
Grantham, the Duke’s haughty butler, showed them straight through the huge hall and out to the extensive lawns at the rear of the Abbey, where a footman offered them glasses of punch or lemonade. There must have been fifty guests there already and Jane recognised many faces as her gaze swept the crowd, seeking…
Her heart leapt, then beat a tattoo in her chest. She might have accepted her love would remain unrequited for ever, but still she could not deny it.
Lord Alexander Beauchamp—tall, broad-shouldered and impossibly handsome, with those strong Beauchamp features shared by all the men of the family: the strong jaw, aquiline nose, lean cheeks, beautifully sculptured mouth and arresting eyes under straight, dark brows. He stood with his older brother Dominic, Lord Avon, slightly apart from the crowd, and Jane recognised that Dominic was attempting to pacify his fiery-tempered brother.
They looked so alike, other than their colouring: Dominic shared the black hair and silvery-grey eyes of the Duke—as did Olivia—whereas Alex had the thick mahogany-brown hair and amber eyes of his late mother. In temperament, however, they were opposite. Dominic had always been the dutiful, responsible son. Alex had, for as long as Jane could remember, rebelled against his father—one of the reasons he hadn’t been back to the Abbey for so long. The other, Jane knew, was the painful memory that haunted him whenever he returned…the memory of the day he’d found his mother’s dead body in the summer house by the lake.
Alex had never spoken to Jane about that day—he’d been seven years old and he hadn’t spoken at all for a year afterwards—but Olivia had long ago told Jane all about it and about the nightmares Alex suffered. Jane’s young, tender heart had gone out to him, but she had never been able to penetrate the barriers behind which he retreated whenever anyone ventured too close to his memories of that day, or to his feelings about what had happened.
He kept everyone—family included—at arm’s length.
While Dominic talked, Alex’s restless gaze swept the crowd and Jane felt the physical jolt when his amber eyes—tiger’s eyes, Dominic always called them—alighted on her. He grinned and beckoned her over. A blush heated her cheeks as she walked towards him and she schooled her expression, always afraid her feelings for him would shine from her eyes. A girl had to have some pride.
‘Janey! How lovely to see you! You still game for a swim in the lake like we used to?’
‘Alex!’ Dominic hissed. ‘For God’s sake, think before you speak, will you? Would you say such a thing to any other young lady of your acquaintance?’
‘I’d say it to Livvy.’ Alex winked at Jane. ‘Janey’s just like one of us…she doesn’t care about standing on ceremony, do you, Janey?’
Jane shook her head, stretching her lips in a smile. Defeat spread through her, settling like a lead weight in her stomach. There was the proof, as if she needed it, that Alex would never view her as anything other than his old childhood playmate.
‘Of course I don’t mind. After all, if I’m not accustomed to your teasing ways by now, Alex, I never shall be.’
Alex grinned again. ‘There! What did I tell you, Dom?’ He slung his arm around her shoulders and hugged her briefly into his side. ‘How’s the old witch?’
Dominic rolled his eyes. ‘I’ll leave you to it,’ he said. ‘Jane—please try to stop my reprehensible brother from upsetting anyone else. He’s already enraged Lord Wagstaff by ripping up at him over the state of his horses and I really must go and see if Liberty needs help…she’s been gone a long time.’
Liberty was Dominic’s new bride—they had met earlier that year in London, fallen in love and married, despite Liberty not being the perfect society lady Dominic planned to wed. Jane had met her in London, where they had married in June, and thought she was, in fact, the perfect match for Dominic, helping him to take life, and himself, a little less seriously.
‘Is there something amiss?’ Jane wondered why Liberty might need help.
‘That dog of hers,’ said Dominic. ‘Never have I known such a mischief-maker. He cannot keep his nose out of trouble for more than five minutes.’
‘Romeo?’ Liberty had rescued the dog as a stray in London earlier that year.
Dominic nodded. ‘He sneaked into the kitchens again, knocked over a cream jug and helped himself to a crock of butter, just when the servants are run off their feet with preparations for today. Liberty’s gone to catch him and shut him away. Why she insisted on bringing him here I’ll never know!’
‘You can’t fool us, Dom. You dote on that dog as much as Liberty does,’ said Alex, nudging his brother.
Dominic’s jaw tightened. ‘I do not dote on him. I merely tolerate him.’
‘Is that why he was sprawled across your lap last night when I arrived? He was fondling Romeo’s ears, Janey, and murmuring sweet nothings.’
‘Rubbish! I was doing nothing of the sort. I’ll see you both later.’
Alex watched Dominic stalk away, his mouth curved in a smile that managed to be both mischievous and satisfied at the same time, before switching his attention back to Jane. She tore her own gaze from his lips, that telltale heat building again in her cheeks.
‘How does it feel being back after all this time?’
Alex’s top lip curled. ‘Same as ever. I arrive and then I can’t wait to leave.’
‘You can’t mean that, Alex. It’s years since you’ve been home. And the entire family is here…surely you want to spend time with them?’
His eyes roamed across the crowd as Jane spoke and she noticed them pause as they reached his father, the Duke, his gaze turning wistful as it often did when he watched his father. She suspected he longed to have the same easy rapport Dominic had with their father, but that he simply did not know how to change—their relationship had been tetchy for as long as Jane had known him. That wistfulness didn’t last long. His expression soon hardened.
‘I do mean it. This is no longer my home. Foxbourne is. Let’s not talk about that, Janey. Tell me, how is Pippin?’
Jane’s throat tightened, aching at the mention of her beloved mare. ‘She died, Alex. Last year.’
Genuine shock and sympathy played across Alex’s features. ‘Last year? Why didn’t you tell me?’
‘When would I tell you? You are never here and, in London…it’s not the same somehow.’
‘But… Oh, God, Janey. I’m sorry. What are you riding now?’
Horses had always been their shared passion and they were the love of Alex’s life. He bred and trained horses at Foxbourne Manor and had built a solid reputation for producing first-class riding and carriage horses.
‘Sandy.’
‘Sandy?’ Alex burst out laughing, but quickly sobered. He searched Jane’s expression, a frown knitting his brows. ‘I thought you were joking,