The Little Book of Otter Philosophy. Jennifer McCartney

      Y

YOLO (also an acronym, I realise). This stands for ‘you only live once’. This is true, as far as we know. Unless we’re all in the matrix, living simulated digital lives – which is a possibility – we get one shot at life. Whatever it throws at us, that’s it. So make sure that whatever you’re doing, it’s something worthwhile, and that you enjoy it. For stressed-out parents, take heart that raising kids is something that will be rewarding in the future (most likely when the kids have gone to school and start to send you nice texts about how they miss you). It’s not about being selfish and doing whatever we feel like. We all still have social obligations and we’re all required to be good citizens and participate in society. But it does mean having a bit of perspective. What is it that you’re afraid to do? And what’s the worst that can happen? Start your podcast. Love your face. Ditch the toxic people. Get a dog. And eat the ice lolly. Preferably while laughing naked in a swimming pool – plunging in being one of the four tenets of the PLAY method after all. Is there one single ice-lolly stick manufacturer, do you think? Or is it a network of individually owned lumber corporations and wood factories that distribute sticks in each country?†

Now that you’ve been introduced to the PLAY method, get ready to learn some amazing otter facts and immerse yourself in the revolutionary otter philosophy. Let’s all hold hands and plunge in together, shall we?

Quiz

      What Kind of Otter Are You?

      When it comes to gadgets, tools, electronics, you’re like:

      A. you have the latest model of everything – electric toothbrush, electric car and AI chip in your wrist

      B. you own a set of cutlery and a television

      C. you pay people to put stuff together for you – no tools needed, ever; wait, you do own a screwdriver. And you use the bottom of your shoe as a hammer.

What best describes your vacation routine?

      A. Up at 6 am, checking work email.

      B. Piña colada by the pool. Check your work email a bit later when you’re drunk.

      C. Your life is a non-stop vacation. That’s what you like to call unemployment.

      When it comes to playtime you prefer:

      A. jumping out of aeroplanes with a parachute or off a cliff with a bungee cord

      B. adult colouring books – do they count as play? Your therapist recommended them …

      C. a game you can play on your phone while lying down.

Answers

      Mostly As: otter to the max. You’re a very high-octane otter bordering on becoming a hummingbird. Don’t forget that life doesn’t have to be scheduled or even death-defying. Playing a board game can be just as rewarding as free soloing up a cliff face. So take a page from the otter playbook, and chill.

      Mostly Bs: livin’ life like you otter. You’re dedicated to work, play and whatever you set your mind to, but you’re also aware we’re all going to die soon, and nothing is that important. A nice, balanced attitude towards being alive.

      Mostly Cs: stoned otter. You’re so laid-back you’re almost a sloth. But you’ve also got some great otter characteristics – ingenuity, a love of taking it easy and a sense of humour. Keep up the good work, but don’t forget otters sometimes have to work hard to play hard.

      * Unless you’re very drunk and you spot a murder in progress from the train window. Best to just leave that alone.

      † Ice lollies were invented by accident, apparently, when 11-year-old Frank Epperson left his drink and stir stick on his porch overnight, back in 1905; in the morning, he had a frozen treat with a built-in handle. ‘Frozen ice on a stick’ was born. And this is what curiosity gets you: fun facts to discuss at your next cocktail party …

Part Two