answer your question, yes, I raised my brothers and sister. I was nineteen when my mother died in childbirth, and I wasn’t going to let the state take them away from our home, such as it is.”
“Where was your father?”
She should have realized he would ask that question. She bit the inside of her mouth, trying to transfer the mental pain she felt when her father was mentioned to a physical one instead. It didn’t work. Even after nineteen years her father’s abandonment bored into her heart, leaving a gaping hole she wasn’t sure would ever totally heal. “He left us when my mother was six months pregnant with their fourth child. He walked out one day and we never heard from him again.”
Samuel straightened from the counter. “I’m sorry. I know how inadequate those words can be at times, but it’s never easy when a parent abandons a child.”
“That’s why I would never abandon my brothers and sister to let some stranger raise them.”
“That was quite a task to take on by yourself at nineteen. You didn’t have any relatives to help you?”
“We’re a small family. My father had an uncle who tried to help some when he could, but he was old and set in his ways. Both of my parents were only children. My mother used to say that’s why she wanted a houseful of kids. I guess my father didn’t feel that way.” The intense pressure in her chest made each breath difficult. She drew in several deep gulps of air, but nothing seemed to relieve the constriction. She hadn’t thought about her father in a long time—most people knew it was a subject she didn’t discuss.
“I can see I’ve distressed you.” He took a step toward her, reaching to touch her arm in comfort.
She backed up against the refrigerator, feeling trapped by the kindness in his expression. “You would think I’d be over it after nineteen years.”
His arm fell to his side. “No, I don’t know if a child ever totally gets over a parent walking out on her. It’s hard enough on a child when one parent dies. Even though the parent doesn’t choose to die, the child still experiences abandonment.”
“Not just the child but the spouse, too.”
The air vibrated with suppressed tension, the focus of the conversation shifting.
For a few seconds a haunted look dimmed his dark eyes, then he managed to veil his expression by lowering his lashes. “Yes.”
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