isn’t. Sometimes it sucks. And if you need help, you just have to ask. This is more important than the kitchen, and the clock’s ticking, Mike. We don’t want Fran to run out of time because we want some fancy new cupboards and a bigger fridge.’ He glanced at his watch. ‘Got to go, I’ve still got to feed the calves again before I can stop. Let me know if there’s any news on the valuation.’
‘Will do. And tell Sarah congratulations for me.’
Joe nodded and went out, leaving Mike alone with his thoughts. Not a happy place to be. He couldn’t believe it was happening again.
It was going to kill Fran. And once again he was going to have to be the one to tell her.
‘Everything all right, Fran?’
His eyes held hers for a second then slid away, something that could have been guilt lurking in their depths, and Fran stared at him, her heart breaking. He knew. He actually knew, and he hadn’t said anything! He’d been upstairs putting Sophie to bed when she’d come back from helping Sarah, and just when she’d needed him, he hadn’t been there.
And now she discovered that he’d already known, and he hadn’t told her. Just when she’d thought there were no secrets. Why hadn’t he told her?
‘Oh, just peachy,’ she said flatly.
‘Fran, I’m sorry,’ he began, but she cut him off.
‘How long have you known?’
He sighed. ‘About half an hour,’ he said heavily, taking the wind out of her sails. ‘Joe told me while Sophie was getting her pyjamas on. I’m really sorry, darling.’
And he was, she could see that. His throat was working, his eyes were sad and he held out his arms to her. She walked into them, laid her head on his chest and sighed, the fight going out of her and leaving only sadness.
‘I’m sorry, too,’ she said. ‘Sorry I jumped down your throat. I thought you’d been keeping it from me for a while.’
‘No. So I take it Sarah told you?’
She gave a strangled little laugh. ‘Not exactly. I found some coffee that was past its sell-by date and handed it to her, commenting on the lovely smell, and she dropped it and ran. Bit of a give-away, really.’
He rubbed her shoulders with his hand, the other hand lying lightly in the small of her back and holding her against him comfortingly.
‘I’m sorry. If I’d known, I would have told you, given you some warning.’
She sighed and eased out of his arms. ‘Don’t be silly. You can’t protect me from every pregnant woman in Cornwall, Mike.’ Although there did seem to be an extraordinary number of them. It just seemed so hard, when they wanted a baby so much, and they hadn’t done anything wrong. Surely they deserved a baby of their own as much as anyone else?
She looked up and met Mike’s worried eyes and smiled, but the honeymoon was over, and the yearning was back in spades.
Mike saw the change in her eyes, saw the fragile happiness of the past few days recede and the longing take its place, and he felt a flicker of dread return.
Damn. He’d hoped for longer to build on their relationship, more time to celebrate the joy they’d found in each other, to cement the foundations of their marriage before they’d had to face this.
And now it had all caught up with them again.
It came to a head later, after they’d made love and were lying in each other’s arms. He was stroking her, his hand running lightly up and down her spine, and he could feel the tension in her, the determination in every line of her body, and he knew it was coming.
Her voice was just a murmur. ‘Mike?’
‘Mmm?’
‘I want to try again,’ she said softly.
He didn’t pretend not to understand. ‘Maybe we should persevere with this diet for another few months,’ he suggested, stalling because he couldn’t bear to lose this newfound closeness, and he was afraid that when they started the awful business of the injections and whatever all over again, that was exactly what would happen. ‘Really give it time to work.’
‘Maybe. I’ll talk to Kate,’ she said, but although she was lying still against him, he could sense the restlessness in her, the urge to do something now, and he knew she wouldn’t be stalled, that this was it.
‘Fran?’ he prompted. ‘Talk to me.’
She shifted slightly, sighed. ‘Oh, Mike, I want a baby—I need a baby—and I can’t afford to waste time. I’m thirty-four—my clock’s ticking. I’m getting old for this, and if we can get the money from Ben and Lucy—I think we have to try.’
He sighed softly and drew her closer. She was right. She was getting on, in reproductive terms, and if her system was starting to shut down, they didn’t have the luxury of waiting. But it wasn’t easy.
‘Are you sure, my love?’ he said quietly. ‘It’s so hard on you—the hormones made you so sick before, the headaches …’
‘I don’t mind,’ she said, her voice soft but firm. ‘I can do this, Mike. I’m not looking forward to it, and I won’t pretend I’m not scared that it’ll all go wrong again, but I’ll do it, and if it ends in a baby, I’d go through it ten times. Fifty.’
Oh, lord. So much courage. He’d seen what it had done to her, the side-effects of the treatment, the indignity and invasion of personal space—it had nearly cost them their marriage, and then when she’d lost it …
‘Mike?’
Her voice was tentative now, seeking reassurance, and he pressed his lips to her hair and held her close. ‘I’m here,’ he promised. ‘I’ll always be here. There’s not much else I can do to help you, but I can do that. I can be here for you, and support you, and we’ll do whatever you feel you can bear.’
He just hoped Ben’s surveyor came up with the goods.
CHAPTER TEN
‘I’VE got Fran and Mike Trevellyan coming in to see me on Monday.’
Nick cocked his head on one side and raised a brow slightly. ‘Any idea why?’
‘They didn’t say, but I suspect they want to talk about trying another cycle of IVF,’ Kate said. ‘You know I gave Fran the fertility-boosting diet sheet and lots of other advice and information?’
‘Mmm—that was the day of his accident, wasn’t it? They’ll need longer that that. It was only a few weeks ago—three, wasn’t it?’
‘Something like that. It’s certainly not long enough to have made a great deal of difference, and if they want to go ahead I’ll encourage them to wait a bit longer, but I don’t know if that’s what they want.’
‘Well, we know she’s not pregnant,’ Nick told her, lounging back in his chair and fiddling with his pen. ‘Lucy told me she made a bit of a faux pas the other day—Sophie said she was going to have a baby brother or sister and Lucy assumed it was Mike and Fran having the baby and congratulated Fran, but it turned out it’s Sophie’s mother, Kirsten. Lucy felt dreadful.’
‘I can imagine. Poor Fran.’ Kate sighed softly. ‘She said to me last time how it was funny that everyone seemed to be pregnant. And now Lucy and Kirsten are pregnant as well. Oh, dear.’
‘And Joe and Sarah, although I don’t know if Mike and Fran know that yet.’
Kate sat down, deeply troubled. ‘I hope this isn’t going to push them into a hasty decision.’
‘Hardly hasty. They’ve been trying for years.’
‘But they weren’t ready, Nick. Only weeks ago