room filled with the sound of their tortured breathing.
“Oh, Molly.” He gulped in air. “I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t you dare be sorry!”
He leaned his forehead against hers. “But I lost control. I swore I wouldn’t do that.”
She struggled to breathe. “Because I made you, right?”
“Yes. No! I should be able to—”
“I’m too powerful.”
Slowly he lifted his head and gazed down at her. Then a slow smile turned into a low chuckle. “Yeah. You are small but mighty. I’m a helpless servant who worships at your feet.”
“Or sometimes a little higher.”
“Whenever I can get away with it.” He searched her expression. “Are you really okay?”
“Yes.”
“Would you tell me if you weren’t?”
“Of course. That was incredible. I’ve never had sex like that.”
“Me, either.” He leaned down and kissed her gently. “Thank you. I’ll be right back. Don’t go away.”
“I have no intention of going away. Not after a performance like that.”
“We’re sleeping after this, just so you know.” Easing away from her, he left the bed. But as he started out of the room, he paused and swore. It wasn’t an angry response, just an irritated one.
She couldn’t imagine what had made him react like that. “Is something wrong?” She sat up.
“Not really. No worries.” He left the room quickly.
She thought about the incident until he came back. Only one thing explained his behavior, and if she was right about what had happened, she needed to know about it.
When he returned, she was ready for him. “Ben, did the condom break?”
His expression gave her the answer.
“That’s what I thought.” Her mind sorted through the options. She’d never been in this position before, but she’d figure it out. “I think we need to—”
“We don’t need to do anything.”
“That’s not exactly true. We just met, so pregnancy wouldn’t be a good thing under the circumstances. I—”
“You won’t get pregnant.”
She didn’t appreciate his cavalier attitude. “You don’t know that. My family is extremely fertile. They get pregnant like that.” She snapped her fingers.
“I’ve had a vasectomy.”
She had her mouth open to offer more arguments for treating this as a serious situation, but she closed it and stared at him. “I guess you really don’t want kids.”
“No.”
She waited to see if he’d elaborate. He didn’t, which told her she’d guessed right. This was a sensitive topic. “I guess you wore the condom for health reasons.”
“No. My last girlfriend was a nurse. She wouldn’t go to bed with any guy unless he had a clean bill of health. Once she found out about my vasectomy, she was thrilled that we didn’t have to use anything.”
“Oh.” The thought of him having sex with another woman didn’t sit well with her, but that wasn’t the issue here. “Were you worried about me?”
“Of course not. I’m sure you’re squeaky clean.”
She was, but that wasn’t the issue, either. “So why didn’t you suggest we go without?” He’d been willing to have this frank discussion with another woman, after all.
“Partly because we’d just met, and it’s one of those lame things guys try to get away with.”
“You thought I wouldn’t believe you.”
“Right.”
“Why did your last girlfriend believe you?”
He sighed and walked over to sit on the side of the bed. Then he took her hand in his. He laced his fingers through hers but didn’t look at her. “Because I told her why I’d gotten a vasectomy.”
“Then please tell me.”
“I think it’s a little harder to tell you.”
That hurt. “Do I come across as judgmental? If so, I don’t mean to.”
He looked into her eyes. “You come across as someone who’s known nothing but loving kindness all her life. I hate the idea of bringing ugliness into that world. Maddie wasn’t like that. She was...I guess you could say she was jaded. Oddly enough, that was why I broke up with her. She was too cynical and that began to bother me.”
“Oh, Ben.” Heart breaking for him, she cupped his cheek and searched his gaze. “What in God’s name has happened to you?”
“Let’s just say I didn’t have your upbringing, and I’m afraid I might repeat that pattern. I can’t risk it.”
She thought he probably was wrong about himself, but he might not believe her if she said so. She could also sense that he didn’t want to talk about his past and how it had shaped him.
“Ah, Molly.” He lifted their clasped hands and kissed her fingertips. “You feel so absolutely right, but I wonder if I’m being selfish. I can’t offer you any of the things you want.”
“That’s not entirely true.”
“Sex doesn’t count.”
“Who says?”
“I do.” He touched her cheek. “You’ll find someone who’ll give you great sex and lots of babies.”
She squeezed his hand. “Fine. I’ll keep an eye out for that person. But in the meantime, could I please have more great sex with you? Because I really like how you do it.”
BEN DIDN’T KNOW a guy in the world who could refuse a request like that. Besides, after two climaxes, he had the staying power to make long, slow love to Molly. She seemed to like that as much as she’d liked the wall-banging kind.
Turned out, so did he. A whole hell of a lot, in fact. Afterward, he gathered her close and they drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.
He woke up before she did, experiencing an emotion that didn’t come often to him. At first he had trouble naming it, but finally he settled on the description that seemed to fit. He was contented.
The reason was easy to figure out. He’d enjoyed amazing sex with a woman he liked well enough to sleep with in the literal sense. He hardly ever woke up with a woman. Usually he went to their place and left that same night. Staying for breakfast gave the wrong impression, as if he might be considering a more permanent arrangement.
But he and Molly had put everything on the table, or enough that she understood why he wasn’t the one for her. He didn’t have to dredge up the past and talk about his crummy family or his fears about turning into his dad.
Instead, they could enjoy each other and part ways as friends. If he didn’t want to think about the leaving right now, so what? Philosophers said that the trick to happiness was staying in the moment, so he’d do that. And in this moment, he was extremely happy. He couldn’t remember being happier, in fact.
He could faintly smell cookies baking and the muted sound of people talking on the floor below. It must be after seven if the cookies were already in the oven. He still cradled Molly against the curve of his body, his arm tucked around her waist. She’d wanted to be part of the cookie situation,