breathing was ragged and she couldn’t seem to stop shaking. But in a good way. The best way. But it was different, too. She’d loved sex with her husband but that felt like a different life. She hadn’t anticipated how different her body would feel straddling Eric as he brought her to completion. His mouth on hers, his teeth on her breasts?
She shuddered again. It hadn’t been the same. Even that thought felt almost like a betrayal, though. She’d loved David with her whole heart and soul—and body.
But she might be in love with Eric.
God, her head was a mess. And the more those delicious little shivers of satisfaction faded away, the more her brain started to freak out. Good Lord—had she and Eric really just done that?
It’d all happened like a dream unfolding. She’d been asleep and then not quite asleep, Eric’s warm body next to hers. Her body had filled with a languid warmth and the space between her legs had grown heavy and she had wanted. It’d been so long since she’d wanted. Desire and sensuality—they hadn’t been a part of her life since David had died.
If it were anyone else, it wouldn’t have happened. It wouldn’t have gotten even close to happening because she never would’ve stripped down to her panties and climbed into bed with anyone else. But this wasn’t some random stranger spouting stale pickup lines and vague promises he had no intention of keeping. This was Eric.
He’d held her children and made them laugh. He’d kissed her in the car. He’d promised that whatever happened in this bed was separate from them working together. He’d literally seen her at her worst—on multiple occasions—and yet he was still here, giving her a mind-blowing orgasm.
She didn’t just want to get laid in the service of vague sexual frustration. She wanted him. And she could have him. So she had.
Sort of.
His arms came around her and he held her tightly. “God, Sofia,” he said, his chest still heaving from the climax. He sounded happy and...relieved? “I mean...” His voice trailed off and he kissed her head.
No, she didn’t know what he meant. Other than he’d enjoyed it, too—which made her feel good. Although she hadn’t done much.
Just straddled him. Just ground her hips down along his length—his very impressive length. Just cried out his name. Her body quivered, a reaction she couldn’t control.
He shifted, somehow pulling her closer and that, at least, calmed her racing thoughts. She closed her eyes and ducked her chin against his shoulder and tried her hardest just to be in this moment. She hadn’t had sex in so long, but she could still feel that passion, that need. And she could still be satisfied. That was the important thing here.
Not the fact that she had no idea what she was supposed to do next. Compliment him on his skills? Make some saucy comment about how she couldn’t wait to do that and more this evening? Tell him how she felt about him? She and David had always said they loved each other afterward. Every single time.
Her mouth opened as if on automatic, but she snapped it back shut. Even if Eric had made her fall in love with him, she couldn’t very well tell him that. Because he’d promised to take care of her, to have some fun with her. To keep this weekend separate from everything else. Love didn’t figure into any of those things. In fact, it would probably ruin everything.
She didn’t want to remind him that, outside of this room, they didn’t belong together.
When she couldn’t come up with anything reasonable to say, she felt Eric’s arms tighten around her. “Babe? Are you okay?”
She let out a little laugh. No, she wasn’t okay. Not even close. She couldn’t even commit to a friends-with-benefits weekend without overthinking the whole danged thing. “Yeah. Just...”
“Been a while?”
She nodded, grateful to hide behind that half-truth. She was a little rusty, after all. “Now what?”
“I don’t know about you, but I need a shower.” Just then, his watch beeped. “Hang on.” She tried to roll off him, but he put a hand on her lower back to keep her where she was before answering his watch. “Yes?”
“Eric? I’ve managed to get Meryl up and into the shower. She’s arguing with me, so I think she’s fine.”
Sofia stayed very still as Steve spoke. Her face was burning. It wasn’t as if Steve had walked in on them, but it felt like it.
Why couldn’t she have decided to do this whole benefits thing when she wasn’t on a business trip?
But then again, when else was she going to spend time with Eric?
Oh, what a mess.
“Are you guys sure you can make it through the afternoon?” Eric asked, sounding calm and professional and nothing like the man who had just brought her to orgasm with nothing more than his fingers.
“I think so. Give us another forty-five minutes and we should be ready.”
“Sounds good,” Eric agreed, but even as he said it, he lazily traced his fingertips up her bare back.
Then Steve asked, “Do you want me to tell Sofia?”
Eric still sounded perfectly normal when he said, “I’ll let her know. We’ll see you in a few.” He ended the call and let his head fall back against the mattress. “I guess that means we have to get up.”
“I guess it does,” she said. Eric’s calm was contagious, almost. Her heart was slowing down to a steady, reliable beat and she was breathing normally.
But she still had no idea how she was supposed to face the afternoon schedule. Before, it had seemed daunting, but now it felt almost impossible. How was she supposed to handle herself now?
Eric tilted her face up so she had to look at him. “Are you sure you’re all right?”
She tried a confident smile. Given the way he notched an eyebrow at her, she was pretty sure she failed. “I don’t know what to do next. I mean, about us. About this.” She let out a strangled laugh. “And also about having dinner with the lieutenant governor tonight. None of this is normal for me, Eric. I don’t fit in this world.”
He stroked his thumb over her cheek and gave her a smile that, if she’d been standing, would’ve made her knees wobble. “You’re going back to your room to take a shower and get changed. I’m going to do the same here. We’re going to some meetings where Meryl will negotiate until she’s blue in the face, Steve will make friends with everyone and I’ll make grand promises that sound too good to be true, except I’ll have all the numbers to back them up. All you have to do for the rest of the evening is smile and listen. You’re the best listener I’ve ever met. Take notes on what’s being whispered, when people look nervous or whatever. I want to know what’s not being said, okay?”
“Okay.”
He stroked his thumb over her cheek again. “If you feel awkward, compliment someone on their tie or their presentation or whatever. Can’t go wrong with compliments. You do that and we’ll be fine.”
He sounded so damned confident about it, as if he actually believed she could pull this off. Preparing for today’s meetings and tonight’s dinner—that was where all her focus should be. It didn’t matter how easily he thought she could do this—she knew darned good and well that today would be hard and tonight would be harder. She had no experience in high-level meetings, even less experience at high-stakes cocktail parties. Eric could be confident because that sort of thing came naturally to him. He breathed it, lived it every single day.
God, she hoped she didn’t embarrass herself. But more than that, she hoped she didn’t embarrass him. There was a real risk that if she did something wrong, she might cost him this deal.
And if that happened, after what they’d shared?
She’d never be able to look him in the eye again.
But