WHEN RAFE WOKE next morning it took him a minute to work out where he was—a habitual dilemma for someone who travelled the globe as frequently as he did. But usually he liked that sense of uncertainty. Transitory was his default setting. Most people were fearful of change but he wasn’t one of them. It was the only thing he’d ever known.
He hadn’t been lying when he’d dismissed Sophie’s sympathetic words after he’d told her what a gold-digger his mother had been. It didn’t hurt. How could something hurt if you had nothing to compare it with? Just as it didn’t hurt that he’d always been pushed aside whenever the latest love interest had appeared in his glamorous parent’s life. Why he’d spent school holidays in vast and empty hotel rooms, while his mother went out on the town. He’d learned to order room service and put himself to bed when there were no more cartoons on TV. He had learned to play the cards he’d been dealt and he’d done it by building a wall around his heart. At first the foundations had been rocky, because what did a small boy know about emotional protection and self-reliance, when it went against the natural order of things? But the more you did something, the better at it you got—and these days nothing touched him. His mouth hardened. Nothing.
He glanced around the bedroom, realising he was in his brother’s Cotswold home. Only then did he acknowledge the warm and sated feeling which came after a night of particularly good sex. He turned his head to find Sophie’s side of the bed empty.
Lazily he stretched, his body hardening as he listened for sounds of running water or any suggestion she might be tidying her hair in preparation for an early morning kiss, but there was nothing. He bashed one of the pillows with his fist and comfortably rearranged his head on it, thinking maybe it was better this way. Better than her snuggling up close trying to do that thing women always did after a night like that—stroking their finger in a slow circle over his belly and wondering what made him tick.
Because they had reached for each other in the darkness before dawn—caught in that strange half-world between waking and sleeping. Two naked bodies, doing what came naturally. He stared up at the ceiling—at the fractured light and shadows cast by the antique chandelier. Only it hadn’t felt like that. Her skin had been silky-soft and her body as warm as soft candle wax you could mould with your fingers. She’d felt so tight when he entered her.
Briefly, he closed his eyes. Almost as tight as the first time. And she’d started saying things in Greek as she came. Soft things. Things he didn’t understand but which instinctively made him wary—because when a woman starting talking in that tone of voice it usually meant trouble. He hoped her inexperience didn’t mean she’d started to misinterpret the impact of a powerful series of orgasms. He hoped he wasn’t going to have to make it clear that it was a waste of time for her to develop feelings for him.
Pushing back the rumpled bedcovers, he got out of bed and walked over to the window, blinking a little at the starkness of the tableau outside. He spent so little time in England these days that he’d forgotten how beautiful the countryside could look in thick snow. For a moment he stood, transfixed by a landscape which was almost unrecognisable—the long drive and other familiar landmarks obliterated by a thick blanket of white. It must have been coming down all night long—and it was still snowing, great flakes of the stuff hurtling down from the sky. It was the kind of white-out you usually only found in a ski resort and Rafe’s eyes narrowed as he took in the heavy clouds overhead. It wasn’t the best day for a christening, not by any stretch of the imagination.
Sophie hadn’t returned by the time he’d showered and dressed and it was after ten when he headed downstairs, where he could hear the sound of voices coming from the direction of the dining room. He walked along the long corridor, unprepared for the sight which greeted him.
Because it was Sophie who was the centre of attention—and not because she was behaving in a princessy kind of way. On the contrary. She was sitting cross-legged on the floor right next to another big glittering Christmas tree, and she was playing with his nephew. Against the sparkle of tinsel and the gleam of fairy lights, she lifted the baby high in the air before bringing him down towards her, rubbing her nose against his tummy and making him gurgle with delight as she made a squelchy sound. And sitting watching them, with an overwhelming look of pride on her face, was the baby’s mother, Molly.
Rafe wasn’t expecting the painful shaft of ice which speared its way through his heart as he stood watching her play with the baby—he was outside the charmed circle but had no desire to enter it. But maybe his breathing had altered fractionally or maybe he moved, because both women turned round and saw him. He saw the uncertainty which crossed Sophie’s face as she lowered the baby to rest against her shoulder, but her uncertainty was quickly forgotten as she fielded the playful swipe of a chubby fist as the baby urged her to play on.
‘Rafe!’ said Molly, getting to her feet and coming towards him with open arms and a wide smile on her face. ‘Here you are. Awake at last! How lovely to see you. And Sophie seems to have made a huge fan of Oliver as you can see for yourself.’ She tilted her head. ‘But you really are naughty—why didn’t you tell us who you were bringing?’
Rafe felt his body grow tense, but he kept his smile bland. ‘Because Sophie prefers to keep her status low-key, don’t you, Sophie?’ He sent her a mocking glance as he gave his sister-in-law a hug. ‘And besides, I can see she’s made herself perfectly at home. She has a knack of doing that. Where’s Nick?’
‘Gone to speak to the vicar and to investigate how bad the roads are. Nobody else has arrived and they’re all supposed to be here soon.’ Molly scooped the baby from Sophie’s arms. ‘Here, let me take him and put him down for a quick nap before all the fun starts. You’ve been brilliant with him, Sophie—thanks.’
‘You’re welcome,’ said Sophie. ‘He’s absolutely gorgeous.’
‘I know he is—although I’m heavily biased, of course!’ Molly gave a wide smile. ‘I must say, it makes a nice change to meet one of Rafe’s girlfriends—we only ever get to read about them in the papers.’
But Sophie became aware of the silence which fell like an axe between them the instant Molly carried the baby from the room. She met the silvery glint of Rafe’s shadowed gaze, wondering if she was imagining the unspoken undercurrents which suddenly made the atmosphere seem so hostile.
‘I like your sister-in-law,’ she said.
‘I’m sure she’d be delighted to have the royal seal of approval.’ His voice grew rough. ‘But you didn’t think it might be wise to wait for me before coming down to breakfast?’
From the way he was glowering at her, Sophie felt as if she were in the dock. Yes, she probably should have waited so they could come down to breakfast together, but she’d needed to get away from him this morning. Needed to get her head straight and her senses back to something like normality. She’d been terrified of being caught staring dreamily at him when he opened his eyes, which had been what she’d wanted to do. She’d wanted to stare at him and stroke her fingertips over his skin and never stop, because what had happened during the night had thrilled and scared her in equal measure. The sex had been...
She swallowed. It had been unbelievable. Different from the first time and from the time on the plane. She hadn’t known it could be like that. So dreamy. So close. Just as it was supposed to be...as if two people really had become one.
She remembered his arms wrapping around her and how unbearably excited she’d felt as he’d pulled her close. His kisses had been barely there at first—his mouth grazing over hers as if he had all the time in the world. As if he were exploring her in slow motion and bringing her to life—cell by delicious cell. And when at last he’d entered her, his penetration had been deep. So deep that she had gasped and murmured his name. But she’d murmured a lot of other stuff too, after he’d brought her to that seemingly endless orgasm which had left her feeling blindsided. Things she hadn’t been planning to say but which had suddenly seemed to spring from her lips. Did he understand Greek? She sincerely