“Then it’s the company. Don’t you like Cassidy?”
“I like her fine. But…”
“But?”
He shrugged. “She makes me…uncomfortable.”
“Did she do something that triggered a memory yesterday?”
Now he did look at Irma, understanding her concern. Understanding the reluctant hope in her gaze, as well. Joshua shook his head. “No. It was like I said. I just knew something I shouldn’t. She shook your hand. You looked surprised. Women around here don’t usually shake hands. But it seemed just right to me. It felt real, the way things do when I know them from before.”
“And that’s all?”
“That and Cassidy—” Joshua stopped in mid-thought. He didn’t want to talk to Irma about what Cassidy made him feel.
This time Irma’s raised eyebrow wasn’t speculative but annoyingly all-knowing. He could feel his cheeks heat.
“Maybe you should talk with Henry. He took Bear for a walk. They ought to be back in no time. But you will come to the table. I’m not sending you off to fix the Wilsons’ roof without a good meal in you.”
“Ma.”
Irma poked him. “Don’t whine and don’t ‘Ma’ me. You get yourself to the table.”
Irma had long since gone back to cooking breakfast when a deep woof echoed in the woods. “Hey, Bear,” Joshua called to his huge mongrel dog, as the animal lumbered into the middle of the yard.
Bear was one of those strange accidents of nature that got all the extreme traits of his ancestors. And judging from the way he’d turned out, he had very large ancestors. Joshua and Henry had gone through a book on dog breeds once and picked out Newfoundland and English sheepdog as the most likely culprits. The result was a huge dog with hair so thick it stood on end and made Bear look about twenty pounds heavier than his one hundred fifty pounds. As a puppy, he’d looked more like a bear cub than a dog.
Bear had wandered into the yard the day Joshua came to live with the Tallingers. Joshua had gotten out of the car that day, still needing a walker, and had nearly tripped over the little fellow who skidded to a stop at his feet. It had been such a frightening day, facing a world of unknowns, and then he’d looked down and seen a creature even more afraid than he was. Henry had steadied Joshua, and Irma had swept the puppy up in her arms. Joshua, still not well versed in the strange world outside the hospital, had called him a “bear.” The name stuck, and Bear had lived up to it all too well.
Joshua picked up a ball and sent Bear running after it, just as Henry cleared the edge of the woods. “He tire you out?” Joshua asked as Henry settled onto the picnic bench.
“Me?” he asked, huffing and puffing. “That’ll be the day. You taking him up to the Wilsons’ with you?”
Joshua nodded and sat down across from Henry. “Yeah. I’ll get going after I eat. I was going to skip breakfast, but Ma had a fit.”
“Why’d you want to go and do a fool thing like that, boy? Irma was cooking up a storm when I left, on account of our guest.”
Joshua took a moment to look around him, trying to enjoy his surroundings in the hope that it would settle him. But it didn’t. There was no denying the truth. “Our guest is why I tried to get out of breakfast. I’m attracted to her. Except I’m not free to be. I just wanted to steer clear of her. Ma had other ideas.”
Henry leaned forward and grabbed Joshua’s hand to give it a quick squeeze. It was a father-son gesture that made him feel supported and loved.
“Josh, your memory’s gone. The accident, or whatever it was that happened to you, took it. It’s not going to come back.”
“Doctor Bennington said it still could,” Joshua protested.
“That isn’t the way I heard it. I believe he said that after five years it wasn’t impossible, but highly unlikely.”
“True, but what if—”
“You’ve got to forget that woman in the picture. We don’t know who she is. Even the police and a national television show couldn’t find out. I wish they’d never shown it to you.”
Joshua frowned. “But they did.”
“And you need to forget it. She could be your sister. You have to start living for the here and now, and the future. I truly don’t believe the Good Lord would have you be alone in this life He’s restored to you. If you like this girl, this Cassidy, then I say you ought to spend time with her. She’ll be gone by day after tomorrow. Where’s the harm in a little companionship?”
Bear dropped the ball in Joshua’s lap, and Joshua tossed it toward the woods. “And then what? She’ll go back to the city and get back to her life and the job that gave her ulcers.” Joshua sighed. “And I’ll be here, maybe wishing she’d stayed. What’s the point? Don’t you see? Even if I did feel free to think about her in the long term, she doesn’t belong here.”
Henry leaned down, picked up a dead leaf and twirled it between his fingers. “Maybe you’re supposed to help her figure out that she shouldn’t go back to her job if it’s making her sick. The Lord sends people into our lives all the time with a plan in His mind. And another thing—you took a big job on yourself when you signed on as my assistant pastor. You work for a pretty demanding boss—and I don’t mean me.”
“I know who I work for,” Joshua snapped.
Henry fixed him with a steely, blue-eyed look. “Counseling the troubled is part of your job description. Irma says Cassidy Jamison is one unhappy young lady. Your obligation to His flock doesn’t stop at members of our church. You’re supposed to help any of God’s children who need you.”
“So you help her,” Josh groused, and unconsciously tossed the ball for Bear again.
Henry sighed, clearly exasperated. “I didn’t just take you on as an assistant because you swing a mean hammer or because you’re young enough to take over for me when I’m gone. I took you on because you relate to younger people and they relate to you. They open up to you. And you get to them in a way I can’t.”
Joshua grimaced. “I know that, but Cassidy—”
A deep woof and a shriek cut off Joshua’s further objection. He turned in time to see Bear rear up and settle his huge front paws on Cassidy Jamison’s narrow shoulders. Woman and dog hit the ground with a thud.
When the shrieking continued, Bear took off for the woods like a shot. Then he saw Joshua and Henry, and turned on a dime to head for Joshua.
“No, Bear!” Josh shouted, but it was too late. Dog and man collided, and there would have been a second thud resounding in the yard except that the yard was still soaked from a recent rain. So this time there came instead a muddy splat.
Then the dog, whimpering and panicked, tried to curl up on top of Joshua. When that didn’t provide enough security, he tried crawling under his now-filthy owner, rolling them both in the mud. It turned into a wrestling match as Joshua tried to subdue the frightened dog.
“Bear! Will you stop it?” Joshua shouted over the din of wild barks and whimpers. “She’s a nice lady. She isn’t going to hurt you.”
When he was finally able to wrap his arms around the dog’s neck to hold him still, Joshua heard Cassidy ask, her tone understandably and utterly incredulous, “Hurt him? He pushed me down.”
“Bear. Sit,” Joshua growled as the dog tried to backpedal away from Cassidy and Henry. “Are you all right?” he asked Cassidy, holding on to Bear and looking up from where he knelt next to the dog.
Cassidy brushed off her jeans and nodded. “Is he always so erratic? I’m not used to dogs but—”
Joshua