shook his head. “This isn’t a system of checks and balances, Kasey. You don’t have to ‘pay me back,’” he insisted. “You don’t owe me anything.”
Oh, yes, I do. More than you can ever guess. You kept me sane, Eli. I hate to think where I’d be right now without you.
Her eyes met his, then she looked down at his hand, which was still over hers. Belatedly, he removed it. She felt a small pang and told herself she was just being silly.
“I know,” she told him. And that was because Eli always put others, in this case her, first. “But I want to.” Taking a plate—one of two she’d just washed so that she could press them into service—she slid two eggs and half the bacon onto it. “Overeasy, right?” she asked, nodding at the plate she put down on the table.
They’d had breakfast together just once—at Miss Joan’s diner years ago, before she’d ever run off with Hollis. At the time, he envisioned a lifetime of breakfasts to be shared between them.
But that was aeons ago.
Stunned, he asked, “How did you remember?” as he took his seat at the table.
She lifted her slender shoulders in a quick, dismissive shrug. “Some things just stay with me, I guess.” She took her own portion and sat across from him at the small table. “Is it all right?” she asked. For the most part, it was a rhetorical question, since he appeared to be eating with enthusiasm.
Had she served him burned tire treads, he would have said the same thing—because she’d gone out of her way for him and the very act meant a great deal to him. More than he could possibly ever tell her, because he didn’t want to risk scaring her off.
“It’s fantastic,” he assured her.
The baby picked that moment to begin fussing. Within a few moments, fussing turned to crying. Kasey looked toward the noise coming from the converted infant seat. “I just fed him half an hour ago,” she said wearily.
“Then he’s not hungry,” Eli concluded.
He remembered overhearing the sheriff’s sister-in-law, Tina, saying that infants cried for three reasons: if they were hungry, if they needed to be changed and if they were hurting. Wayne had been fed and he didn’t look as if he was in pain. That left only one last reason.
“He’s probably finished processing his meal,” he guessed. “Like puppies, there’s a really short distance between taking food in and eliminating what isn’t being used for nutrition,” he told her.
With a small, almost suppressed sigh, Kasey nodded. She started to get up but he put his hand on her arm, stopping her. She looked at him quizzically.
“Stay put, I’ll handle this.” Eli nodded at his empty plate. “I’m finished eating, anyway.” He picked Wayne up and took him into the next room.
She watched him a little uncertainly. This was really going above and beyond the call of duty, she couldn’t help thinking.
“Have you ever changed a diaper before?” she asked him.
He didn’t answer her directly, because the answer to her question was no. So he said evasively, “It’s not exactly up there with the mysteries of life.”
Changing a diaper might not be up there with the mysteries of life, but in his opinion, how something so cute and tiny could produce so much waste was one of the mysteries of life.
“This has got to weigh at least as much as you do,” he stated, marveling as he stripped the diaper away from the baby and saw what was inside.
Making the best of it, Eli went through several damp washcloths, trying to clean Wayne’s tiny bottom. It took a bit of work.
Eli began to doubt the wisdom of his volunteering for this form of latrine duty, but he’d done it with the best of intentions. He wanted Kasey to be able to at least finish her meal in peace. She didn’t exactly seem worn-out, but she certainly did look tired. He wondered just how much sleep she’d gotten last night.
After throwing the disposable diaper into the wastebasket, he deposited the dirty washcloths on top of it. The latter would need to be put into the washing machine—as soon as he fixed it.
Dammit, anyway, he thought in frustration, recalling that the last load of wash had flooded the utility room.
Served him right for not getting to something the second it needed doing. But then, life on a ranch—especially since he was the only one working it—left very little spare time to do anything else, whether it was a chore or just kicking back for pleasure.
And now that Kasey and her son were here—
And now that they were here, Eli amended, determined to throw this into a positive experience, there was an abundance of sunshine in his life, not to mention a damn good reason to get up in the morning.
There! he thought with a triumphant smile as he concluded the Great Diaper Change. He felt particularly pleased with himself.
The next moment he told himself not to get used to this feeling or the situation that created it. After all, it could, and most likely would, change in a heartbeat.
Hadn’t his life come to a skidding halt and changed just with Hollis banging on his door, abandoning his responsibilities on the doorstep? Well, just like that, Kasey could go off and find her own place.
Or Hollis might come back and want to pick up where he’d left off. And Kasey, being the softhearted woman she was, would wind up forgiving him and take Hollis back. After all, the man was her husband.
But that was later, Eli silently insisted. For now, Kasey was here, in his house with her baby, and he would enjoy every second of it.
Every second that he wasn’t working, he amended.
Picking Wayne up, he surveyed his handiwork. “Not a bad job, even if I do say so myself,” he pronounced.
Ready to go back out, he turned around toward the door with the baby in his arms. He was surprised to find that Kasey was standing in the doorway, an amused expression on her face.
What was she thinking? he couldn’t help wondering. “Have you been standing there long?” he asked.
She smiled broadly at him. “Just long enough to hear you evaluating your job,” she said. Kasey crossed to him and her son. “And you’re wrong, you know,” she told him as she took Wayne into her arms with an unconscious, growing confidence. “You’re being way too modest. You did an absolutely great job.” There was admiration in her voice. “The nurse had to walk me through the diapering process three times before I got the hang of it,” she told him with a wide smile. “You never told me you had hidden talents.”
“Didn’t know, myself,” he freely confessed. “I guess that some people just rise to the occasion more than others.”
She thought about him opening his home to her. They were friends, good friends, but that didn’t automatically mean she could just move in with him. He had been under no obligation to take her in. She certainly hadn’t expected him to do that.
Looking at him pointedly, she nodded. “Yes, they do,” she agreed softly.
For one shimmering second, as he stood there, gazing into her eyes, he felt an incredibly overwhelming desire to kiss her. Kiss her and make a full confession about all the years he’d loved her in silence.
But he sensed he might scare her off. That was the last thing that either one of them wanted, especially him. He needed to put some space between them. He thought about his ever-growing list of things that needed his attention. Just thinking about them was daunting, but he needed to get started.
Eli abruptly turned toward the door.
“Well, I’d better get to work,” he told Kasey. “Or the horses will think I ran off and left them.” But instead of heading outside, the smell of a diaper that was past its expiration date caught his