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First published in Great Britain 2016
by Jelly Pie an imprint of Egmont UK Ltd
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text and illustration copyright © Jim Smith 2016
The moral rights of the author-illustrator have been asserted.
First e-book edition 2016
ISBN 978 1 4052 6914 8
Ebook ISBN 978 1 7803 1431 0
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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Contents
Captain Two Fingers
Sally Bottom
Morag Barnacle
Nettle forest
’Ere we are
Loser in the middle
Gordy-wordy
The missing poles
Renard Dupont
Toilet mopping
Very bad news indeed
Renard’s idea
Snoring Morag
Trying to get out of actukeely doing anything
Futur garçon de rat
The broken mirror
Abracadabkeels
Run for it
Loser Island
The clues
Bogie Islands
Smelly bogies
Everyone dig!
Smallest treasure chest ever
Biggest letdown ever
The storm
Furry hand
Giant woodlouse
Brilliant and amazekeel idea
Real-life Donald Cox
Fake fingernails
Mr Verkenwerken, nature expert
Donald Cox’s Luxury Wooden Lodges
Giant Sabre-toothed Woodlouse
Nose droop
Darren’s phone
Loser Camp
About the author and drawer
It was the first Sunday of half term and I was sitting in my sitting room watching Future Ratboy with my best friends, Bunky and Nancy Verkenwerken.
‘This is gonna be the keelest half term EVER!’ I said.
‘Keel’ is how Future Ratboy, my favourite TV superhero, says ‘cool’, in case you didn’t know.
‘YEAH!’ said Bunky, who’s sort of like Future Ratboy’s sidekick, Not Bird, except he’s not a bird. ‘I’m SO glad we don’t have to go to babyish old Pirate Camp any more!’
‘Me too!’ I said. ‘Pirate Camp is for BABIES!’
Pirate Camp is the holiday camp that me, Bunky and Nancy used to go to every half term when we were younger. It’s sort of like a nursery for kiddywinkles, except it’s on Mogden Island, which is an island in the middle of Mogden Lake.
It’s