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For Cliff. Thank you for all your support
and kindness throughout my career.
Stay strong and keep smiling
:) xxx
First published in Great Britain in 2019
by Egmont UK Limited
The Yellow Building, 1 Nicholas Road, London W11 4AN
Text and illustrations copyright © 2019 Laura Ellen Anderson
The moral rights of the author and illustrator have been asserted
First e-book edition 2019
ISBN 978 1 4052 9392 1
Ebook ISBN 978 1 4052 9393 8
A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher.
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CONTENTS
1. UNICORN FART AND MAGNIFICENCE
2. DRAW ME LIKE ONE OF YOUR YETIS
5. NOBODY LIKES CHANGE
6. JANE’S FLAMINGO-DRAGON KNICKERS
7. I WOKE UP IN THE WALL
8. GLITTERY AND FLOUNCY HORRORS
9. YELLOW DOESN’T SUIT YOU
10. A THOUSAND MILES AWAY
11. GREAT GLITTER GATHERER
12. NOPE
13. WHY AM I INSIDE THE WALLS?
14. SHOUTING!
15. THEY’VE SQUIDGED OUT SOME OF MY HANDSOME
16. A VERY WEIRD AND STICKY SITUATION
17. FOREVER
‘BIIIIIIIIIIIRFNIIIIGHT BUMS!’
Amelia Fang woke with a start. Her pet pumpkin, Squashy, rolled off the bed, landing with a pa-doing!
‘It can’t be night time already, surely?!’ said Amelia, pulling the blanket over her head.
‘SOUNDS LIKE THE CELEBRATIONS ’AVE STARTED,’ said Florence Spudwick with a stretch.
Grimaldi Reaperton yelped and hid underneath his bed covers.
It was the Winter Holidays in the Kingdom of the Dark, which meant six whole weeks off school! Young vampire Amelia Fang and her three best friends were spending the first weekend of their holidays at the Yeti Mountain Pits. The pits were home to all the ancient retired yetis in the kingdom, each living in their own cosy pit connected by a network of candlelit tunnels.
Florence’s Grand-yeti Clemence was turning three hundred and fifty years old, and the ancient yetis were having a party all weekend to celebrate. Amelia and her friends were so excited to have a big sleepover together. This meant late-day chats, tragic stories by candlelight and lots of silliness.
The door to the pit where Amelia, Florence and Grimaldi were staying burst open. An old yeti bellowed, ‘TIME FOR BIRFNIGHT BUMS!’ before running away.
‘Florence, why does everyone keep shouting ‘‘Birthnight Bums”?’ squeaked Grimaldi from under the covers. The little grim reaper was easily alarmed.
‘BUMPING BUMS IS A COMMON YETI GREETING, LIKE SHAKING HANDS,’ said Florence, as she lit the candles on the walls of the pit. ‘IT’S TRADITION TO BUMP BOTTOMS WITH THE BIRFDAY YETI THE SAME NUMBER OF TIMES AS THEIR AGE.’
‘Wait! Isn’t your grand-yeti three hundred and fifty years old?’ said Amelia. ‘That means . . .’
‘YUP! FREE ’UNDRED AND FIFTY BUM BUMPS,’ said Florence. She performed five intense squats and punched the air. ‘I’M SO READY FOR THIS!’
Florence Spudwick was a rare breed of yeti with a passion for one-armed press ups and having fun with her friends.
‘AND I CAN’T WAIT FOR YOU TO MEET MY GRAND-YETI CLEMENCE,’ she said happily. ‘I FINK YOU’LL LOVE ’ER!’
The door to the pit flew open again, making Squashy do a tiny poo in shock. A HUGE yeti with curly white hair and thick-rimmed glasses ducked into the room.
‘ALWITE DAD!’ Florence grinned and the two yetis high-fived each other.
‘EVENIN’ FLO! ALWITE KIDS?’ said Florence’s dad, Laurence Spudwick. ‘I ’OPE YOU ALL SLEPT WELL. WE GOT A LOT OF CELEBRATING TO DO OVER THE NEXT TWO NIGHTS!’
‘Evening,